Blog

The Only 2 Criteria You Need to Evaluate a Relationship

couple gazing at one another
In the age of information overload, it’s common to want to evaluate a relationship with a long list of pros and cons, or do online research about “signs of the right relationship” instead of simply trusting your intuition, or inner compass when it comes to evaluating the health of your romantic partnerships.Because you have so many tools at your fingertips, it’s easy to be paralyzed evaluating relationship wish lists, and judging your partners in light of these lists, or missing opportunities to meet good people due to them. Another common experience is over-thinking the quality of your relationship, or experiencing a fear of missing out ...

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Understanding Your Tendency to be Attracted to Drama in Relationships

Guy and girl on motorcycle
The Relationship Roller Coaster, as I like to call it, is filled with emotional, exciting, and at times, frustrating ups and downs, twists and turns, and thrills. The drama and unpredictability of roller coasters is what gives you the excitement and surge of neurochemicals in your brain, and the very thing that gets you hooked and getting back in line for more “fun.”If you are aware of your tendency to enjoy the ups and downs of a dramatic or somewhat chaotic relationship, you are familiar with the Relationship Roller Coaster effect. What you may be less aware of is how that desire to get back in line ...

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Should I Stay or Should I Go?

couple looking at one another
Even in the best of relationships, at some point, you might question whether you should stay committed or leave your relationship and possibly start over with someone who might be an even better fit. This may happen in the first few months when you are still understanding whether someone is an ideal partner, or years down the line when you start to experience dynamics like drifting apart, dwindling intimacy, or a general misalignment of values and interests. It’s normal to question whether you are as happy and fulfilled as possible, and sometimes even wonder if there is a better partner out there for you.When you are contemplating a separation or ...

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How Your Mindset Predicts Relationship Success

couple walking in woods
The basic beliefs you have about yourself and your control over your future make up your mindset. Research performed by Stanford Psychologist Carol Dweck and summarized in Brain Picking’s recent article by Maria Popova, suggests that while this perspective may shift due to circumstances or personal variables, individuals fall in two core buckets when it comes to mindset: Fixed or Growth. Each of these mindsets has a direct impact on your relationship success and cultivating awareness of–and potentially changing–your default mindset can greatly influence the dynamics of your romantic partnerships.Similar to attachment systems, individuals develop one of these two mindsets at a very early age due to ...

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Four Things You Must Do to Fully Heal from a Break-Up

Man hiking
The devastation of having a romantic relationship come to an end – especially if you feel the choice was not yours – can be heart-wrenching. Longer relationships may leave you with a feeling of emptiness as a former lover might have been part of your daily rituals. If your partnership was shorter, but intense and meaningful, you may have lost of a sense of hope in relationships all-around.With marriages happening later and later and digital dating driving much of today's match-making, navigating courtship again after a breakup can be more confusing and daunting than ever. Yet, the bigger issue with jumping back into the dating game ...

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Relationship Question Answered: How do I overcome my fear of intimacy?

Couple kissing near the ocean
Intimacy is a necessary part of any healthy relationship. While it’s most common to think of intimacy as physical closeness, intimacy takes many important forms in a healthy relationship such as emotional closeness, friendship, intellectual alignment, and attachment. A close cousin to intimacy is vulnerability, which is a willingness to put yourself at risk for heartache, rejection, or abandonment, in order to be fully in a relationship. Both of these emotions take the courage to step outside your comfort zone and don’t come easy to everyone.Fear of intimacy shows up in many forms and for a variety of reasons; three of which we’ll discuss here.Perceived Limitations

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3 Ways Individual Therapy Will Help Your Relationship

Happy couple laughing together
When you think of therapy to help your romantic relationship, you probably imagine the classic scene with a couple sitting around with a therapist, each taking turns discussing their core problems and each telling his or her own side of the story. While that model has been the norm for decades, it may not be the most effective in helping your relationship, especially if your partner is unwilling or unmotivated to attend.The alternative? Individual Relationship Therapy, which addresses your relationship needs and challenges independent of the influence of your partner’s perspective and helps an individual partner explore how his/her own history and experiences may be playing a ...

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