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3 Steps To Take To Get Your Needs Met in a Relationship

Getting your needs met in a relationship

The success of any relationship hinges on the ability for each partner to get their needs met. This is true of a parent-child relationship, friendship, and romantic partnership. But, that criteria of a successful relationship isn’t as simple as it seems. Getting your needs met is a result of identifying, owning, understanding and communicating those needs effectively.

Here are three steps you can take to get your needs met in a relationship, based on research from Susan Pease Gadoua (2018) and our work with Denver-based clients.

Step 1: Acknowledge that you have needs

According to Susan Pease Gadoua (2018), begin by giving yourself permission to have needs. Start with ...

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Identifying Your Emotional Thermometer

Emotional anger relationship

If you have ever overreacted or “blown up” in a conversation with a loved one, co-worker, parent, or even child, then the practice of tuning into your emotional thermometer would likely be a helpful one. The process of understanding your emotional continuum is especially critical if you have a tendency to spiral out of control during heated discussions and are working on ways to better manage your feelings and keep conversations with others productive during times of intensity.

It’s often a natural tendency to react to an emotionally charged situation versus respond calmly and thoughtfully. Here are steps to take that can help you identify your emotional thermometer based ...

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Good Boundaries Start With Strong Values

‘Boundaries’ is a word we throw around casually nowadays as it becomes more mainstream. Maybe you have heard comments like “my resolution this year is to have stronger boundaries” or “better boundaries will help me find more balance in my life”. And, while these comments are true, it’s often difficult to define exactly what “good boundaries” means, especially because they are so unique to the individual.

In a previous post, we defined boundaries as imaginary lines drawn around oneself to protect both the physical and emotional self from the behavior and demands of others. Healthy boundaries are always rooted in your personal values, priorities, and needs.

In this ...

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Why Relationships are Like Wine

Relationships are like wine

Wine is known to be good for your heart, as are relationships. In fact, scientists have concluded that people who are happily married or in long-term committed relationships actually live longer, on average, than their single friends. But that’s not where the analogy ends. Here are three truths about relationships that also important when making wine, and what you can learn from the alignment. 

Outward appearances mean so little

If you are a wine drinker, at some point in your life, you were probably lured into buying a bottle of wine because of a clever or beautiful label. Maybe that purchase was due to a funny vineyard name ...

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Is It Time to Leave My Relationship?

Time to Leave My Relationship

No matter if you’ve been in a relationship for a few months or a few years, it not uncommon to come to a crossroads and wonder if you should leave the relationship, take a “break”, or start seeing other people again. Maybe the chemistry is fading, your partner’s habits and quirks are wearing on you, or you question whether you can legitimately see a long-term future together. A common time to ask this question is after the honeymoon phase in a new relationship, but this uncertainty can come up at any point, even after years together.

This decision can be one of the most pivotal in your ...

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Miscarriage: How Reframing Your Thoughts Can be Key to Healing

reframing thoughts about miscarriage

There are very few situations in life as heartbreaking as miscarriage. Likely, you and your partner were overjoyed with the news of a new baby and immediately started planning the details of your expanding family. You most likely shared the news with close friends and family and the announcement was met with congratulatory messages and excitement.

 

The news of a miscarriage might feel unbearable, especially for mom, as there can be a sense ...

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Rethinking How You Evaluate a New Partner

Rethinking-How-You-Evaluate-a-New-Partner

You meet someone new, whether that be online or through a mutual friend, and you hit it off. The early fog of infatuation is thick and it feels fun and exciting to learn about someone new. There is immediate attraction, both physical and psychological, and you start to size this new potential partner up against a “list” of necessary qualities you might have pre-established in your head.

Can you relate? Evaluating a new romantic interest begins the moment you first communicate and rarely ends anytime soon after. Just like infatuation, it’s easy to like someone in the beginning because of surface level things -- the kind of ...

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