Center for Shared Insight, PC

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Moving on: What to do when your relationship isn't meeting your needs

your-relationship-isnt-meeting-your-needs

When you enter into a relationship, you are likely optimistic that the relationship will last and are hoping for a true long-term connection. When you start to question whether the relationship will last, it might take a while to get honest with yourself. You might initially make up excuses for your partner’s behavior or the lack of overall chemistry. Overtime, you’ll come to terms with the fact that the relationship doesn’t fully meet your needs and can’t be fixed. Likely there is a lot of letting go that needs to happen individually before you feel confident sharing your feelings with your partner, and ultimately get the closure that you ...

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The Power of Pre-Marriage Couple’s Therapy

Pre Marriage Couple's Therapy

You’re engaged! Congratulations on the decision to take your relationship to the next level. Likely, you’ve already put a tremendous amount of effort into your relationship to get it to this stage. You and your partner have probably already endured some ups and downs and ultimately decided that your connection is strong enough to make a deeper commitment.

It might feel on the surface that the hard work is done and that you’ve arrived at the place you’ve dreamed of since you’ve been a young child — ready to marry the “love of your life” and “live happily ever after”.

But, the truth is that much of the work ...

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3 Steps To Take To Get Your Needs Met in a Relationship

Getting your needs met in a relationship

The success of any relationship hinges on the ability for each partner to get their needs met. This is true of a parent-child relationship, friendship, and romantic partnership. But, that criteria of a successful relationship isn’t as simple as it seems. Getting your needs met is a result of identifying, owning, understanding and communicating those needs effectively.

Here are three steps you can take to get your needs met in a relationship, based on research from Susan Pease Gadoua (2018) and our work with Denver-based clients.

Step 1: Acknowledge that you have needs

According to Susan Pease Gadoua (2018), begin by giving yourself permission to have needs. Start with ...

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Identifying Your Emotional Thermometer

Emotional anger relationship

If you have ever overreacted or “blown up” in a conversation with a loved one, co-worker, parent, or even child, then the practice of tuning into your emotional thermometer would likely be a helpful one. The process of understanding your emotional continuum is especially critical if you have a tendency to spiral out of control during heated discussions and are working on ways to better manage your feelings and keep conversations with others productive during times of intensity.

It’s often a natural tendency to react to an emotionally charged situation versus respond calmly and thoughtfully. Here are steps to take that can help you identify your emotional thermometer based ...

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Good Boundaries Start With Strong Values

‘Boundaries’ is a word we throw around casually nowadays as it becomes more mainstream. Maybe you have heard comments like “my resolution this year is to have stronger boundaries” or “better boundaries will help me find more balance in my life”. And, while these comments are true, it’s often difficult to define exactly what “good boundaries” means, especially because they are so unique to the individual.

In a previous post, we defined boundaries as imaginary lines drawn around oneself to protect both the physical and emotional self from the behavior and demands of others. Healthy boundaries are always rooted in your personal values, priorities, and needs.

In this ...

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Why Relationships are Like Wine

Relationships are like wine

Wine is known to be good for your heart, as are relationships. In fact, scientists have concluded that people who are happily married or in long-term committed relationships actually live longer, on average, than their single friends. But that’s not where the analogy ends. Here are three truths about relationships that also important when making wine, and what you can learn from the alignment. 

Outward appearances mean so little

If you are a wine drinker, at some point in your life, you were probably lured into buying a bottle of wine because of a clever or beautiful label. Maybe that purchase was due to a funny vineyard name ...

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Is It Time to Leave My Relationship?

Time to Leave My Relationship

No matter if you’ve been in a relationship for a few months or a few years, it not uncommon to come to a crossroads and wonder if you should leave the relationship, take a “break”, or start seeing other people again. Maybe the chemistry is fading, your partner’s habits and quirks are wearing on you, or you question whether you can legitimately see a long-term future together. A common time to ask this question is after the honeymoon phase in a new relationship, but this uncertainty can come up at any point, even after years together.

This decision can be one of the most pivotal in your ...

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