Do you think in black and white or fifty shades of gray? Do you prefer absolutes, certainty, and a clear relationship path or a more spontaneous relationship journey? Do you spend too much time thinking about the ultimate outcome of a relationship rather than simply embracing the moments with your loved one?

Black and white thinking is a common relationship dynamic or defense mechanism, usually with one of the parties involved. This “either/or” thinking might include needing absolute answers about where the relationship stands, is going, and the associated timelines. It can sometimes manifest as a preoccupation with the next relationship milestone or the relationship status.

Black and white ...

While most people know that the process of divorce can be grueling and painful, it’s a common mistake to think that once the papers are signed, the suffering and grief will also come to an end. Enduring the financial, emotional, and psychological pain of separation from a partner you thought you’d spend your life with is excruciating, but it’s a whole other thing to work through the lifelong process of fully healing from devastating loss of any kind.

Maybe instead of sadness, you felt a sense of freedom and celebrated the end of your marriage with serial dating, late nights out, and extensive travel. Maybe you ...

“Dating down” is relatively new relationship terminology but the concept has been around for ages. Even just a century ago, individuals might have been pressured to marry into certain families with certain social status, or been influenced by dowries. Dating outside your social status could be viewed as the modern day equivalent of these dynamics.

While it’s important to look beyond salary and status when choosing a mate, dating someone with a wildly different lifestyle, values or goals can prove challenging overtime. As an extreme example, if you have a professional 9-5 job with a healthy salary and your partner is a host at a restaurant, lives with his ...

Do you ever feel like you are attracted to, date, or even marry the same type of people over and over again? Do all of your relationships fall into a similar pattern and end due to the same dynamics? Does it feel like you attract or invite this relational pattern into your life, perhaps without consciously being aware of it?

If you experience these situations, you may be like many others I work with, who unconsciously – and compulsively – repeat relational patterns over and over again, hoping to achieve a different outcome. But why does this occur, you ask? Read on to better understand the origin of ...

Relationships can be challenging to navigate. When you add kids into the mix, they quickly become downright complex. Understanding the right time to introduce your kids to your significant other, and potentially meet his/her kids as well, is a very personal decision and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly. While there is no hard and fast rule about when this should occur, here are some important considerations as you navigate the dynamics of this important introduction.

Kids must remain #1

If introducing your kids to your new partner might result in them feeling like they are secondary, or take too much attention away from them, consider waiting. Oftentimes, single ...

We hear a lot of buzz about codependency as a common relationship dynamic. However, there are several other types of dependency in relationships, and determining yours can provide valuable insight into the health of your partnerships.

Both interdependency and independency are other forms of relationship interaction along the dependency continuum. When you can better understand how your relationship is built, or your general tendencies – codependency, independency, or interdependency – you can make more mindful and aligned choices as you strengthen your present and future relationships in your life.

Codependency

This dependency pattern stems from a childhood of having to meet caregiver’s needs for the individual’s needs to be ...

In my work as a relationship therapist in Denver, Colorado, clients often question whether their partner is the best possible match and try to determine whether to keep looking for a better fit. Often this consideration is coupled by a broader “fear of missing out” (FOMO) as clients wonder whether they are settling or if there might be an even better, more “perfect” or “ideal” relationship out there.

If you too contemplate this question related to dating and commitment, consider these dynamics as you evaluate whether to commit or continue looking for a more ideal partner.

Nothing is perfect

From our earliest childhood expectations comes the idea that ...