Center for Shared Insight, PC

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Dating After Divorce: Are you Ready?

woman sitting by the ocean

Divorce can be both a heart-wrenching and liberating experience, depending on the circumstances of your dissolution. It’s often also a time of confusion, and necessitates self-reflection. No matter the details of such a separation, an intentional, directed recovery is often key to successful dating and future relationship happiness.

Too often, as a divorcee, you may feel excited about the prospect of getting out into the dating world again, or want to escape the pain by replacing the feelings with lust and romance. In my experience, rushing into your next relationship without fully working through the missteps of your divorce, will likely only prolong the inevitable and lead you to fall ...

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Part 2: 3 Strategies to Overcome Relationship Anxiety

couple on a coffee date

In Part 1 of this series, we discussed signs of relationship anxiety - overthinking, game-playing and self-sabotage - and the common experiences of people who struggle with this challenge. Here, we’ll provide a three-step process for overcoming relationship anxiety in your life. Like the desire to change any unhealthy habits in life, the first step is being committed to the process of change.

1. Recognize patterns

Oftentimes, the first step is the most difficult. If you know you struggle with relationship anxiety, understanding your personal relationship patterns is an important precursor to changing them. To start understanding your own triggers, try this exercise:

  1. Write down the last three people you have dated.
  2. Next ...

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Part 1: 3 Signs You Might be Struggling with Relationship Anxiety

Girl looking sad and confused on park bench

In my work as a psychologist, I help clients overcome past relationship trauma, understand setbacks, and assist them in clearing space and recognizing healthy new relationships in their lives. Oftentimes, these new relationships can trigger unresolved feelings or patterning that become a kind of anxiety about a new love.

If you have ever felt overly nervous, find yourself constantly analyzing your “next move” in a relationship, or found reasons to leave a partnership that was going fairly well, you might be struggling with relationship anxiety. Let’s look more closely at this phenomenon with Tom and Carrie’s situation. And, in part 2 of this post, we’ll learn ways to overcome ...

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Top Relationship Questions: Why Have I Not Found My Future Partner?

girl swinging with an empty swing next to her

As a Denver psychologist specializing in relationship support, the number one question I receive in my therapy sessions is “Why have I not found my life partner?” While the answer can certainly vary significantly from client to client, after a few sessions of discovering more about clients’ lives and challenges, the answer to this burning question is usually revealed in one of four categories:

Unrealistic Expectations

It’s hard to know what lasting love and healthy relationship feels like. Finding and keeping true love is a great mystery of life and is something only felt, not clearly explained in any rule book or life manual. Your previous experiences of love in your life ...

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Are Relationships Your Drug of Choice?

couple riding motorcyle into desert

Pick your poison, Friends! We all get addicted to the feel-good high of certain habits or hobbies… but what if your drug of choice is relationships?

Everyone has something—something that helps the not-so-good times feel just a little bit better, including you.

Maybe it’s a bowl of rocky road ice cream or a glass of red wine after a challenging day at work.

Some seek exhilarating, semi-dangerous experiences to get the juices flowing and feel the thrill of tempting fate.

Others dabble in recreational drugs to temporarily escape the realities of life.

Or maybe it’s the rush of pushing your physical limits ...

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Letting Go Without Closure: 6 Strategies to Help Healing

lady looking out at landscape

Breakups are difficult, even when we get that often-desired last conversation with our beloved. It’s natural to seek a dialogue at the end of a relationship for a variety of reasons -- including to learn what you could have done to be a better partner, understanding why the relationship failed, or for feedback on a certain aspect of the relationship. The hope is that closure will make both parties feel better by learning from their mistakes. In theory, good closure should help you let go and move on with your life. However, there is an illusion that a final conversation has the potential to tie the relationship up in a ...

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Part 2: Partner Patterns -- What Neuroscience teaches us about Relationships

Couple close together with sun shining

In part one of this series, we revealed that the root of feelings and emotions is caused by chemical forces in the body. These releases of hormones are completely out of your control and become the foundation of almost all relationships -- with attraction, lust, and attachment paving the way to true relationship.

In this section, we’ll explore why we love who we love and the role of our visual system in relationship patterning.

Biologically and genetically speaking, we are predisposed to be attracted to a person with opposite genetic characteristics from ours. This primordial tendency to mate for genetic variety (e.g. women demonstrate preference to men who smell ...

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