Center for Shared Insight, PC


Understanding an Over-Critical Partner

Unhappy couple looking away from each another

Many couples struggle with a partnership that is built on an ideal of “perfect.” The expectation that a partner shouldn’t do anything slightly “wrong,” and the nit-picking and fault-finding that accompanies such partnerships, can leave the criticized partner feeling confused and frustrated, wondering what they have done wrong and how they can make it right again. However, it usually has less to do with what the criticized partner did or did not do. Instead, the roots may lie in childhood dynamics, past relationship patterns, and/or control issues.

No matter the culprit of such criticism from a partner who points out every little thing wrong – from the way someone ...

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Dating Gone Right: 5 Date Ideas That Foster Authentic Connection

couple embracing with a beautiful view after hiking

In a world of speed dating and swiping, it’s more difficult than ever to make an authentic connection with a potential love interest. Online dating is a constant distraction reminding us to question “what else is out there” and open relationships are more commonplace than ever.

As a mindful dater in this world, it probably feels extremely challenging to truly get to know someone in a timely manner. Finding the right place and enough time in your schedule to truly talk and get to know someone can be difficult in our increasingly complex and digital world.

Below you’ll find five date ideas that help facilitate getting to know someone ...

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Benching: A Psychologist’s Analysis of the New “Ghosting”

girl sitting on a bench looking at skyline

You have, no doubt heard of ghosting, but a new dating trend is leaving people feeling unclear about where they stand. Here’s one take on BENCHING.

There’s a new dating tactic in town and if you’ve been out there chasing love, you’ve probably encountered this sneaky, but effective scheme. It’s called “benching.”

Since it was first written about by New York Times writer Jason Chen, many have said that benching is the new form of ghosting—when someone you are dating suddenly stops all contact… texting, calling, emails, dates. And poof—they’re out so fast that you may think that the connection was all just a ...

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Relationship Questions Answered: Should I Give Online Dating a Try?

women looking at her phone

If you are single and living now, in the 21st Century -- at a time of rapidly evolving technology and instant gratification, you have probably given online dating some consideration. Most of my clients share that they have hesitations around it, yet feel that it’s necessary to try as a way to potentially overcome challenges of meeting aligned partners.

Online dating can be a vital channel to meet high-quality people, yet there is still a stigma of desperation around this approach to dating. Others view online dating as an “unnatural” means to find a partner, that they’re somehow cheating the natural course of relationships. Below, we’ll outline considerations for ...

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Dating After Divorce: Are you Ready?

woman sitting by the ocean

Divorce can be both a heart-wrenching and liberating experience, depending on the circumstances of your dissolution. It’s often also a time of confusion, and necessitates self-reflection. No matter the details of such a separation, an intentional, directed recovery is often key to successful dating and future relationship happiness.

Too often, as a divorcee, you may feel excited about the prospect of getting out into the dating world again, or want to escape the pain by replacing the feelings with lust and romance. In my experience, rushing into your next relationship without fully working through the missteps of your divorce, will likely only prolong the inevitable and lead you to fall ...

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Part 2: 3 Strategies to Overcome Relationship Anxiety

couple on a coffee date

In Part 1 of this series, we discussed signs of relationship anxiety - overthinking, game-playing and self-sabotage - and the common experiences of people who struggle with this challenge. Here, we’ll provide a three-step process for overcoming relationship anxiety in your life. Like the desire to change any unhealthy habits in life, the first step is being committed to the process of change.

1. Recognize patterns

Oftentimes, the first step is the most difficult. If you know you struggle with relationship anxiety, understanding your personal relationship patterns is an important precursor to changing them. To start understanding your own triggers, try this exercise:

  1. Write down the last three people you have dated.
  2. Next ...

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Part 1: 3 Signs You Might be Struggling with Relationship Anxiety

Girl looking sad and confused on park bench

In my work as a psychologist, I help clients overcome past relationship trauma, understand setbacks, and assist them in clearing space and recognizing healthy new relationships in their lives. Oftentimes, these new relationships can trigger unresolved feelings or patterning that become a kind of anxiety about a new love.

If you have ever felt overly nervous, find yourself constantly analyzing your “next move” in a relationship, or found reasons to leave a partnership that was going fairly well, you might be struggling with relationship anxiety. Let’s look more closely at this phenomenon with Tom and Carrie’s situation. And, in part 2 of this post, we’ll learn ways to overcome ...

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