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The Yoga of Dating (Part I): The Five Yamas

Yoga of Dating

The Yoga of Dating

Have you ever wished that someone would outline a few universal rules for dating? Rules that made the exciting, nerve-racking, fun-but-mysterious process of dating a little more clearly defined? A set of rules that others were sworn by oath to follow in order to gain clearance to ask that certain someone out on a date?

If so, you’re not alone. A set of rules would likely make the process more enjoyable and less confusing and disappointing, at least in some ways. I witness this desire for rules daily as a Denver dating coach and relationship therapist.

Rules to Practice

Just as physicians take a Hippocratic oath, and psychologists follow certain ...

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The Yoga of Dating (Part II): The Five Niyamas

A couple doing yoga poses on the beach

Niyamas of Yoga and Dating

The five niyamas outline the principles in which how we should treat ourselves. 

Remember what I said about wanting a set of rules to guide dating experiences? Not only would it benefit you to adhere to the five yamas (how to treat others), but to date well, you need to be a good date. To do so, it is helpful to be in right mental space to date. 

The Five Niyamas of Dating

1. Saucha

Purity. What is the first thing people typically do to prepare for a date? You got it—most people get their hair cut, nails done and pick out an outfit that will best ...

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"Run to the Altar" Syndrome: 10 Signs You're Not Ready for Marriage

Bride and groom running to the altar

If you’ve been to a grocery store check-out line, turned on the television, or even connected with friends on social media sites, chances are you’ve been inundated by the magazines, commercials, reality shows, advertisements, etc. portraying a fantasy-driven story line pertaining to marriage. 

The entire objective of this media is to get you to buy in to the idea of marriage—that marriage is the epitome of a successful life, of being happy—and the only legitimate relationship status. And (oh, by the way) to buy the product they’re selling related to making your Big Day super-duper special.  

Chances are you’ve bought in—at least partially—to the romantic idea of an over-sized diamond ring, ...

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What Makes a Man: Finding the Way Out of Boyhood

Boy looking into distance out in nature

Sitting at a local restaurant patio with a girlfriend, I couldn’t help but overhear the conversation taking place between three gentlemen sitting next to me, who looked to be in their late 30s to early 40s. One would expect they were of the age of men, correct? To the untrained eye, why of course.

One guy, let’s call him “Tom,” was asking what he should text back in response to his partner, while another told him, “Say nothing, you are out with your boys. You need a night with your boys.” 

I smirked to myself and listened in as the social disaster progressed. He confirmed with his “boys” his text to his ...

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Red Light. Yellow Light. Green Light. Are You Ready to Date Again?

Ready to Date Again - hearts

It’s been a couple of months since he/she broke your heart.

You’ve spent time sulking, crying, being angry and talking it out with close friends. You may have drunk your fair share of wine and/or gotten to know your local bartender better than you used to.

You’ve thrown away pictures and returned items of clothing and possessions to your ex. Perhaps you changed your social media status to “single” and removed any online traces of your relationship with that former fateful someone. 

Your friends all tell you to get back on the proverbial horse. They recommend that you create or refresh your online dating profile and join some new meet-up.com groups. With infinite ...

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The Internal Compass: Using Intuition to Date More Mindfully

Intuition to Date Mindfullly - Compass

Using that little voice inside can keep us safe from unsavory situations. Learn how using intuition can help you blossom into a more mindful dater.

If you are reading this, you are probably invested in knowing yourself more intimately than the average person. 

You’ve probably done your fair share of work on resolving the past and creating new narratives in your life. You are committed to skipping “better-than-nothing” relationships in favor of the “better-than-anything” relationships you know you deserve to have in your life, including friends, family, and romantic partners. You know yourself intimately (or are actively working toward this) and want to see and know others in the same respect.

All ...

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Are You a Relationship Hoarder? How To Heal Through a Breakup or Separation

Relationship, separation, break-up

How To Heal (For Real) Through a Breakup or Separation.  

We’ve all seen the shows.  An “expert” comes in to a person’s home, filled wall to wall with veritable mountains of stuff.

Some people are holding on to papers in case they need that one precious piece of information later, unsure if they’ll remember it on their own. Some fill their homes with items they have compulsively bought to avoid painful feelings. Others build walls, even tunnels, to protect themselves from the all-too-real feelings of fear, vulnerability, or shame.

Now, the team of experts arrive, and, Presto! Within days, the ...

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