Center for Shared Insight, PC

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Lessons From the Mountain: What Hiking Teaches Us About Relationships

Women staring at sunrise hiking

"There’s no doubt that some relationships will end, but some potentially good ones require you to push past whatever is going on to get to the other side."

As is true for so many who find their way to Colorado, I fell in love with the Rocky Mountains from day one. They are magnificent, beautiful, offer a Utopian escape from city life and above all else, teach you things about yourself that you never would have imagined.

When I started hiking 14-ers (14,000 ft. mountains) a little over a year ago, I had virtually no experience hiking, let alone hiking at such a high elevation. I was invited on a two-day backpacking ...

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The Yoga of Dating (Part III): Asana – Date Worthy Postures

Yoga of Dating

To grow in a relationship with another, you must also grow in multiple directions and stay balanced.

This is advice I regularly share with clients as a Denver relationship therapist.

Asana refers to the physical practice that most people think of when they think of yoga, but, as you’ll see, it also provides a helpful model for thinking about how we lean in (or out) of new relationships.

The word “asana” originally referred to the art of sitting still, and since has been applied to positioning and holding oneself in various positions. Doing so is designed to bring forth meditation, enhance flexibility of body and mind and cultivate well-being in the yogi.

Sitting still? ...

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The Relationship Tango: Time to Waltz Instead?

relationship tango

The lesson that will transform your relationships forever.

Last week I sat with my friend “Sarah,” as she described how hopeless and exhausted she’s felt lately, specifically in regards to her newly-blossoming relationship with a man named “Matt.” 

Sarah thinks the world of Matt—he’s charming, successful, generous and (may I say) easy on the eyes. Yet despite Matt’s attractive qualities, Sarah’s not happy and not acting like herself.

Over the past few months, I’ve seen Sarah cancel plans with friends (to spend time with Matt) and change her style of clothing. Even her personality seems different.

It took me minute to put all the pieces together, but this actually seems to be a familiar ...

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How to Prepare Yourself for the Perfect Relationship

person looking at the road ahead

Create your perfect relationship through making yourself the perfect partner.

What is “Perfect” Anyway?

First let’s start by qualifying what I mean by a “perfect” relationship. As a Denver relationship psychologist, I regularly witness people envisioning a “perfect” relationship as being one that mirrors the fantasy created by Hollywood and advertising executives to help you buy in to what they are selling: “true love,” a love that conquers all.   

You know the drill. Boy meets girl; girl is reluctant; guy pursues despite staggering obstacles; girl falls in love; hey, presto! Guy whisks her away to happily ever after (Note: this is not only outdated, it also assumes heterosexuality and leaves out ...

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The Yoga of Dating (Part I): The Five Yamas

Yoga of Dating

The Yoga of Dating

Have you ever wished that someone would outline a few universal rules for dating? Rules that made the exciting, nerve-racking, fun-but-mysterious process of dating a little more clearly defined? A set of rules that others were sworn by oath to follow in order to gain clearance to ask that certain someone out on a date?

If so, you’re not alone. A set of rules would likely make the process more enjoyable and less confusing and disappointing, at least in some ways. I witness this desire for rules daily as a Denver dating coach and relationship therapist.

Rules to Practice

Just as physicians take a Hippocratic oath, and psychologists follow certain ...

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The Yoga of Dating (Part II): The Five Niyamas

A couple doing yoga poses on the beach

Niyamas of Yoga and Dating

The five niyamas outline the principles in which how we should treat ourselves. 

Remember what I said about wanting a set of rules to guide dating experiences? Not only would it benefit you to adhere to the five yamas (how to treat others), but to date well, you need to be a good date. To do so, it is helpful to be in right mental space to date. 

The Five Niyamas of Dating

1. Saucha

Purity. What is the first thing people typically do to prepare for a date? You got it—most people get their hair cut, nails done and pick out an outfit that will best ...

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"Run to the Altar" Syndrome: 10 Signs You're Not Ready for Marriage

Bride and groom running to the altar

If you’ve been to a grocery store check-out line, turned on the television, or even connected with friends on social media sites, chances are you’ve been inundated by the magazines, commercials, reality shows, advertisements, etc. portraying a fantasy-driven story line pertaining to marriage. 

The entire objective of this media is to get you to buy in to the idea of marriage—that marriage is the epitome of a successful life, of being happy—and the only legitimate relationship status. And (oh, by the way) to buy the product they’re selling related to making your Big Day super-duper special.  

Chances are you’ve bought in—at least partially—to the romantic idea of an over-sized diamond ring, ...

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