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Heraclitus, the great Greek philosopher, is credited with the famous phrase “change is the only constant in life”. While this is undoubtedly true, challenge is also another constant. Life is rarely without a challenge — whether that be minor or catastrophic. It’s how we face and overcome challenge that leads to character. While it’s inevitable that life will hand you lemons and you’ll be asked to make lemonade more times than you can count, it’s how you deal with challenge that really matters.

In this post, we outline three important perspectives to keep in mind as you encounter obstacles in your life.

Choose your thoughts carefully

It’s so easy, ...

Divorce is full of heightened emotions including blame, anger, sadness, denial, uncertainty, and sometimes even relief and excitement. Experiencing these feelings and the related phases of change are normal and necessary to get to the other side of divorce. The process is both scary and exciting as you usher out your new life and welcome in all that is possible. 

In this post, we’ll normalize feelings you might be having post-divorce and discuss how you can move through them, and reframe your thoughts, to fully move on to your new life.

The Blame Game

It’s not uncommon to mask the shame, grief, and even humiliation of divorce ...

No matter if you’ve been in a relationship for a few months or a few years, it not uncommon to come to a crossroads and wonder if you should leave the relationship, take a “break”, or start seeing other people again. Maybe the chemistry is fading, your partner’s habits and quirks are wearing on you, or you question whether you can legitimately see a long-term future together. A common time to ask this question is after the honeymoon phase in a new relationship, but this uncertainty can come up at any point, even after years together.

This decision can be one of the most pivotal in your ...

There are very few situations in life as heartbreaking as miscarriage. Likely, you and your partner were overjoyed with the news of a new baby and immediately started planning the details of your expanding family. You most likely shared the news with close friends and family and the announcement was met with congratulatory messages and excitement.

The news of a miscarriage might feel unbearable, especially for mom, as there can be a sense ...

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard of The Bachelorette. This reality television dating show was originally a spin-off of The Bachelor and it features an eligible single woman (aka The Bachelorette) who chooses a husband among 25 bachelors. Throughout the season, dating and relationship dynamics, including drama, conflict, and hurt feelings, unfold - much to the casting directors’ delight - that provide insight into the cast and characters. While this show might be a way to “veg out” on a weeknight, a lot can be learned by viewing the way the selection process through the lens of attachment theory.

Many of the dynamics of ...

As relationship therapists, one question we get often from clients is how long to wait to have sex with their new partner. Sometimes there is (real or perceived) external pressure from your new partner causing you to ask this question or you might feel that having sex is a way to solidify a new relationship. Other times, having sex with your new partner might seem like a way to fast-track the partnership into your desired status.

My advice around this question isn’t always popular with clients, but it’s backed with evidence that having sex too quickly can create an environment for future relationship challenges. Below you’ll find some things ...

Have you ever been in a situation in which you feel like you can’t get clarity? Maybe you are torn between two choices, or in a fog about what the best next step looks like. This might be the case in a decision around a relationship, job, or any other potential change in your life. Or, you might witness your partner, family members, and friends go through a back and forth for a long time as they are determining the right path, and struggling to remain objective about these important next steps.

Oftentimes, during these periods of transition, your thoughts are muddled with emotions and it’s hard to be ...