Center for Shared Insight, PC

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Understanding the Phases of Change

couple lying on the floor together smiling

Relationships, like life, are full of change. If you desire to shift any dynamic in your relationships, you must be prepared for and understand how to navigate the natural stages of change.

If your partner in a romantic relationship is attempting to shift his or her behavior such as breaking an addiction, changing long-standing communication patterns, or being more present when with you, fully understanding the process of change, and the fact that it might not be a linear, progressive path, is essential. As I outline the six fundamental stages of change in this post, as coined in The Transtheoretical Model (Prochaska, DiClemente, & Norcross, 1992), I hope to ...

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Emerging Womanhood: Finding Yourself After Kids

mom laughing with daughters

You’ve spent the better part of the last two to ten years putting your children’s needs far above your own. You’ve spent countless months on a nursing and/or pumping schedule, long nights rocking little ones, and endless days cleaning up after them. Your children have consumed nearly all of your time and energy, and you have possibly even thrived within those dynamics.

Now, your little ones are off to school and you're off to...well, you’re not sure. With some quiet time to yourself and less daily chaos in your home, you’re left wondering what to do next. Maybe you’re even wondering what you enjoy anymore, and possibly even ...

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The Key to Making Couple’s Therapy Work: Regular Maintenance

couple holding hands

In my work as a Denver therapist, I regularly witness the power of individual therapy to heal relationship problems. Setting aside time to talk about the way your relationships influence your thoughts and behaviors one-one-one with a trained relationship psychologist is paramount to transforming a relationship.

Many couples choose couples therapy in addition to, or sometimes instead of, individual therapy to work through their greatest relationship challenges, arguments, and differences. While this can be an effective complement to individual therapy, generally couples wait too long to make the commitment to couple’s therapy, and being more proactive about the need for such therapy is key to it’s success.

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3 Reasons Black and White Thinking Can Damage a Relationship

Man walking away from woman

Do you think in black and white or fifty shades of gray? Do you prefer absolutes, certainty, and a clear relationship path or a more spontaneous relationship journey? Do you spend too much time thinking about the ultimate outcome of a relationship rather than simply embracing the moments with your loved one?

Black and white thinking is a common relationship dynamic or defense mechanism, usually with one of the parties involved. This “either/or” thinking might include needing absolute answers about where the relationship stands, is going, and the associated timelines. It can sometimes manifest as a preoccupation with the next relationship milestone or the relationship status.

Black and white ...

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4 Ways to Overcome the Lingering Grief of Divorce

Women sitting on park bench

While most people know that the process of divorce can be grueling and painful, it’s a common mistake to think that once the papers are signed, the suffering and grief will also come to an end. Enduring the financial, emotional, and psychological pain of separation from a partner you thought you’d spend your life with is excruciating, but it’s a whole other thing to work through the lifelong process of fully healing from devastating loss of any kind.

Maybe instead of sadness, you felt a sense of freedom and celebrated the end of your marriage with serial dating, late nights out, and extensive travel. Maybe you ...

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Dating Down: Understanding Why You Choose Who You Choose

Women at dusk texting

“Dating down” is relatively new relationship terminology but the concept has been around for ages. Even just a century ago, individuals might have been pressured to marry into certain families with certain social status, or been influenced by dowries. Dating outside your social status could be viewed as the modern day equivalent of these dynamics.

While it’s important to look beyond salary and status when choosing a mate, dating someone with a wildly different lifestyle, values or goals can prove challenging overtime. As an extreme example, if you have a professional 9-5 job with a healthy salary and your partner is a host at a restaurant, lives with his ...

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Why Do I Keep Attracting the Same Partner? How Past Trauma Attracts Relationship Drama

women reflecting on her life

Do you ever feel like you are attracted to, date, or even marry the same type of people over and over again? Do all of your relationships fall into a similar pattern and end due to the same dynamics? Does it feel like you attract or invite this relational pattern into your life, perhaps without consciously being aware of it?

If you experience these situations, you may be like many others I work with, who unconsciously – and compulsively – repeat relational patterns over and over again, hoping to achieve a different outcome. But why does this occur, you ask? Read on to better understand the origin of ...

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