Having a “single” relationship status can be difficult during notable holidays that often involve couples and family – especially Valentine’s Day. For some, it may be a glaring reminder that you are single when the rest of the world says you “should” be in a relationship with a significant other. For others, it may be a welcomed day in which you are no longer in the unhealthy, painful relationship you once were. Either way, it’s impossible not to be bombarded with reminders of love, affection, and couplehood during this time of year. If you are preparing for a solo Valentine’s Day, check out these three ways to honor and enjoy the holiday, even without a significant other.
Treat and spend time with yourself
Perhaps the most obvious of all alternatives to celebrating Valentine’s Day with a loved one is to treat yourself to something special. Think hard about something you’ve wanted to experience or purchase. Ask yourself what would contribute to your authentic happiness on this day. Maybe it’s a snowmobile tour in the Colorado mountains, a yoga workshop you’ve been dying to take, or the deluxe pedicure at your favorite nail salon. Or, instead of a long dinner you might have with a loved one, dress up and take yourself to a fancy restaurant for a decadent dessert.
Honoring your most essential relationship, with yourself, is the most loving act you can make in your life. Approach this day as a celebration of self-love, the most important love of all, and don’t feel a bit of guilt about splurging on or spending time with yourself. Let treating yourself be a reminder of your own self-worth and honor how far you have come on your path to better understanding relationships and love.
Host, organize, or attend a singles party
They say that “misery loves company” but when in the company of like-minded singles, Valentine’s Day can turn quickly into match-making fun. With holiday love in the air, singles can be more open to meeting potential relationship interests during Valentine’s Day festivities.
This suggestion can take many forms. If you live in a major metro area, like Denver, most likely there are singles parties going on around town. Check Meet Up or Eventbrite for potential gatherings. If not, consider hosting your own, inviting single friends and requiring them to each bring a single friend along. Meeting a partner through a friend is still one of the most successful ways to find like-minded love, and this day is an opportunity to do just that. Whether hosting at home or organizing an event like this at a local restaurant, consider adding a fun twist, like a white-elephant type gift exchange. Ask people to bring something like wine, chocolate, flowers, or the cheesiest Valentines Day teddy bear on earth to keep the celebration spirited, light, and memorable.
Ask a friend on a platonic date
Valentine’s Day should ultimately be a celebration of love – the love we have for friends, family, children, and parents. Sometimes it just feels good to be around other people on this day, despite this person not being a love interest. Ask your closest guy/girl friend to join you for dinner, drinks, a walk through a museum, or whatever activity you’d enjoy on Valentine’s Day. Vent about past relationships, share the best and worst dates of your year, laugh about the most absurd Valentine’s ad you saw during the season, and people-watch all around you as couples go about their celebrations. Take solace in each other and remember that the grass is so often not greener on the other side of the relationship status update.
Whatever you decide to do, remember that it's just one day and it will pass. Take a few minutes on this day in celebration of love and reflect upon the challenges and triumphs of past relationships. What have you learned? Where have your grown? What commitments do you have to yourself as you embark on your next relationship? Where do you still feel confused or unclear related to couplehood?
If these questions spark further curiosity, consider contacting the team at Center for Shared Insight, PC. Our core mission is to support the health and longevity of relationships – romantic and otherwise. Contact Dr. Hick for a free relationship consultation and let Center for Shared Insight be a vital part of your relationship journey. Happy Valentine’s Day!