Center for Shared Insight, PC

What Makes a Man: Finding the Way Out of Boyhood

Boy looking into distance out in nature

Sitting at a local restaurant patio with a girlfriend, I couldn’t help but overhear the conversation taking place between three gentlemen sitting next to me, who looked to be in their late 30s to early 40s. One would expect they were of the age of men, correct? To the untrained eye, why of course.

One guy, let’s call him “Tom,” was asking what he should text back in response to his partner, while another told him, “Say nothing, you are out with your boys. You need a night with your boys.” 

I smirked to myself and listened in as the social disaster progressed. He confirmed with his “boys” his text to his partner, and then said, “And sent.” 

Of course, as soon as I smirked, I gave myself away and was pulled into the conversation to give my opinion on the matter. Oh, how little they knew about my opinion as a Denver relationship therapist, specializing in coaching clients everywhere on the spectrum -- from dating to love-term relationships.

Tom—who was intensely debating on what to text his partner—explained that his wife had given birth to twins, but that his “boy” had come to visit and he wanted to stay.

Of course I congratulated him on the birth of his twins and then asked a little more. Another friend explained that they were five days old and that they were in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). 

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