Center for Shared Insight, PC

Podcast: Attachment and Sex with Dr. Brittany Woolford

February 11, 2020
|
Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Center for Shared Insight therapist Dr. Brittany Woolford, Ph.D recently talked with Dave Glaser from Believe Be Real Be Bold. Their discussion explored the relationship between attachment systems and sex. Throughout the podcast, Dr. Woolford shares her insights as a therapist as it relates to the way healthy attachment correlates to healthy sex. 

In this podcast, Dr. Woolford reminds us that sex can be used in a relationship as a way to connect or disconnect. It can be used to confirm or enhance the relationship. She explores the quadrants of attachment types, or the continuum of attachment styles, which are anxious, avoidant, fearful, and secure. She reminds us that a partner approaches a relationship from their default attachment style, and that impacts how they might also approach sex in the relationship. 

 

Here are some of the key ideas explored in this podcast:

Anxiously attached individuals struggle with self-confidence and self-love, so they seek sex to gain love, attention, and approval. They believe that sex will keep their partner happy and therefore they engage in riskier sexual behavior, often from a younger age. They may feel coerced into sex, preoccupied with their partner’s sexual satisfaction, and have little power to negotiate their needs during sex. They often use sex as a barometer for how the relationship is going, with sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction having a direct correlation. 

Avoidantly attached partners are more likely to have a later onset of sexual partnerships, multiple partners, and/or casual sex. As long as they are getting their physical needs met, they often avoid intimacy and foreplay. In fact, sex is not high on their priority list, compared to and not highly correlated to relationship satisfaction. 

Fearfully attached individuals are both anxious and avoidant and “flip scripts” between having both styles. Oftentimes, this is due to early childhood or relationship trauma. This flip-flopping is used as a protective coping mechanism and a distancing tactic.

Those who are securely attached are most likely to have long-term committed relationships, and thus have fewer sexual partners, and feel connected with their partner when it comes to sex. They report high sexual satisfaction and are comfortable talking with their partner about sex.

Beyond attachment styles, throughout the podcast, Dr. Woolford explores:

The interconnectedness of attachment and sex is not a well-researched topic because it’s often difficult to get funding to study it. But, Dr. Woolford’s mission as a therapist is to help people create healthy relationships by advocating for clients to be authentic in relationships, even if this falls outside of societal expectations. 

If you find the podcast helpful and Dr. Woolford’s approach to relationship therapy resonates with you, schedule a free consultation with our intake coordinator to learn how you can work with Dr. Woolford to have more satisfying relationships in your own life.

 

Related Blog Posts
June 30, 2020
Decoding Your Feelings of Resentment and Guilt

Resentment and guilt are two sides of the same coin, and it might be hard to clearly understand which feeling you are experiencing, and how to overcome it. At Center for Shared Insight in Denver, Colorado, we work with clients who are working to better understand how and why these feelings show up and how to find balance between the two opposing, yet related, experiences. In this post, we’ll dive into what these feelings mean, how to decode the specifics, and how you can overcome them.

Resentment and ...

June 17, 2020
Motherhood: Identifying Needs & Understanding Self

Each phase of life offers a new opportunity to learn something about yourself. Your needs will evolve, your perspective will shift, and you’ll continue to learn more about your own identity if you stay aware and present to what you are experiencing throughout motherhood.

So often, clients who work with our team of therapists in Denver, Colorado (especially those with young children) experience a post-baby phase when they are rediscovering themselves. After challenging (but rewarding) years of taking care of babies and toddlers, life starts to look different ...

If you have difficulty using our website, please email us or call us at (720) 644-6698
View the ADA Accessibility Statement
This website is designed for general information only. The information presented on this site should not be construed to be formal psychological or mental health advice or treatment nor the formation of a therapist-client relationship.
CSIP UPDATE - Now offering In-Person and Online Therapy sessions (to COLORADO residents) during Covid-19!
 
Our therapists are here to help you during this uncertain time. We know you and others are trying to do your part to social distance due to Covid-19, which is why we are happy to provide online therapy sessions through our secure video platform.

Beginning June 8th, we will now be offering a limited number of in-person sessions in our office for those who prefer that option. We are here to talk with you about how we can meet your therapy needs. 
 
Contact us today to learn more!