Center for Shared Insight, PC | Blog Posts About Other Topics

October 3, 2022

Relationship Conflict: Four Trauma Responses that Aren’t About You

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Relationships can be confusing to navigate and understand. If you are experiencing dynamics in your relationship that seem more intense than expected, ongoing or seemingly out of the blue, like withdrawal, unexplained or unusual conflict, or an inability to work through certain situations, don’t assume it is something you are doing. So often, past trauma is the root of relationship...

September 1, 2022

Reframing Career Shifts & New Parenting

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Historically, women have been faced with the decision to choose a career or kids, and even men to some degree, if their partner was very successful. In the most traditional circumstances, women gave up their career for several years to stay at home with the kids. More recently, we saw more women who wanted to remain in the workforce to...

August 5, 2022

Reclaiming Self: 6 Important Steps to Consider

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

At various times in your life, you put yourself on the back burner due to other priorities, responsibilities, or pressing demands. This could be due to everything from health concerns to caregiving responsibilities to major life changes. This deprioritization of self can only last so long before you end up feeling depleted, lost, purposeless, or exhausted. As you approach these...

July 8, 2022

Evaluating the Emotional Health of a Relationship

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Before you take the next step in your relationship, consider checking in about the emotional health of the partnership. Similar to the practice of discussing each other’s sexual health before having sex, discussing emotional health before you move forward with a significant relationship milestone, like being exclusive, is critical. If you don’t evaluate the emotional health of a relationship, you...

June 11, 2022

Two Key Ways Therapy Can Help You Find a Partner

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

At Center for Shared Insight in Denver, Colorado, we see clients who are experiencing the full spectrum of relationship challenges. Some clients are working to stay engaged in a long-term marriage, while others are struggling with online dating—and everything in between. A handful of clients we see have been struggling for a long time with finding the right partner, or...

May 1, 2022

Overcoming Relationship Boredom

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Feeling bored in your relationship might feel inevitable. After time, relationships tend to fall into predictable patterns, which can be beneficial if you crave stability, but can also lead to relationship boredom. Especially if you have been with your partner for a while, you may feel that you are in a rut. This feeling is also common if you are...

April 5, 2022

Attracted to the Familiar: How to Override The Automatic Mind

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

In almost all parts of life, our brains are programmed to be unconsciously drawn to what is most familiar. Sometimes this can be a positive thing and create productive patterns in your life, such as in cases where you are drawn consistently to nurturing friends or to jobs with companies that have great corporate cultures. Other times, this can be...

March 3, 2022

3 Ways to Tap into Intuition When Dating

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Do you often feel frustrated that you haven’t connected with potential partners in the ways you want while dating? Do you tend to rely on the opinions of others too much when evaluating whether someone is the right partner for you? At Center for Shared Insight, in Denver Colorado, we often work with clients who feel this way and, among...

February 4, 2022

Divorce Recovery: Creating space for feeling and healing

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

There is so much to do post-divorce, from reimagining life without your spouse to helping your kids and family understand the changes, it is easy to feel both overwhelmed and excited about what lies ahead. For a long time, you might be stuck in the logistics of your post-divorce life, sorting through new school pickup schedules or work adjustments to...

January 2, 2022

Finding Motivation Within: New Goals in the New Year

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

It is that time of year again when we start to reflect on the year behind us and focus on the changes we want to make in the future. While that can be a healing and rejuvenating process, it can also bring up feelings of failure or a sense that you are stuck in a rut. Maybe you have made...

December 1, 2021

Stuck in the Fight: Obstacles to Moving on After A High Conflict Divorce

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

If you find yourself stuck in a challenging divorce due to a difficult ex-spouse, you may feel like your anger and frustration will never end. Perhaps you are working through a divorce with someone who has narcissistic tendencies, or is being difficult by hiding assets, playing games, and/or trying to turn your children against you. If you can relate to...

November 3, 2021

Easy Choices, Hard Life; Hard Choices, Easy Life

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Through my work as a therapist at Center for Shared Insight in Denver, Colorado, themes often emerge as I engage with clients about what is happening in their lives. One of the recent themes is around how the choices you make today impact the ease of your future life. In any given situation, from dating, to work, to divorce to...

October 11, 2021

Grief After Divorce: Taking Adult Steps

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

If you ultimately wanted your divorce, you may have felt moments of relief and happiness as you finalized plans to move forward in life without your former spouse. And even in this case, there can be unexpected moments and stages of grief - ranging from anger, disbelief or denial, sadness, depression, bargaining to change it, and finally, acceptance - with...

August 12, 2021

Dating Resources: Books, Podcasts, & Ted Talks

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Just knowing that others are experiencing the same challenges and dynamics in relationships is sometimes comforting. That’s why we have compiled this list of resources for you to learn from other professionals who are willing to share their knowledge, research, experiences, and learnings so that others may feel less alone on their dating journey. Here are some top resources we often...

July 9, 2021

3 Ways to Overcome Online Dating Fatigue

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

It’s Friday night and, again, you wish that your weekend plans included time with a romantic partner. Maybe you’ve been sifting through online dating profiles for months and have gone on a handful of dates, but nothing has materialized. You log into one of your online dating apps and you almost feel a sense of dread as you again look...

June 7, 2021

4 Ways to Respond to Gaslighting

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that someone uses on you to gain control in a partnership, which could be with a loved one, boss, family member or others. The behaviors and comments that accompany gaslighting make you question your own sanity, sense of reality, the past, and can feel as if you are going “crazy.’ If you have...

May 31, 2021

Defending the Inch: Divorce and Narcissism

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

You have likely heard the expression “if you give an inch, they’ll take a mile”. This saying, which translates to the idea that if you give someone a little power or freedom, they will try and get a whole lot more, applies to so many situations in life. At Center for Shared Insight in Denver, Colorado, we often hear this expression...

May 10, 2021

Dating Differently: Asking New Dating Questions

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

It’s easy to be on auto-pilot when you are meeting someone new. There is likely a list of questions you ask without even thinking ranging from “what do you do for a living?” to “where did you grow up?”. While these questions might give you surface-level or basic information about a person, maybe even based on a mental checklist you...

May 3, 2021

Part 2: “If you do what you did, you get what you get”

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

In part one of this post, we discussed how this concept applies to goals or changes you might want to make in your life, from career to health to self-care. In part two of this post, we’ll explore how this timeless truth “If you do what you did, you get what you get” impacts your romantic relationships, dating, and potentially...

April 13, 2021

Part 1: “If you do what you did, you get what you get

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

This quote, or a variation of it, has been attributed to automotive tycoon Henry Ford, motivational speaker Tony Robbins, and even Albert Einstein. No matter who and when it was first coined, it is a timeless truth and one that can help you take back your power and find your potential during times of uncertainty, frustration, boredom, apathy, or even...

March 30, 2021

COVID-19 Boundaries and the Rise of STDs

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Recently, I had the opportunity to connect with Dr. Rania Kahn, OBGYN at a local women’s health practice in Denver Colorado, not far from the Center for Shared Insight therapy practice. During our conversation, Dr. Kahn shared some startling news. She has never diagnosed so many positive cases of sexually transmitted diseases, sometimes several in a single visit, than she...

March 9, 2021

Dating Lessons Learned from the Coronavirus Pandemic

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

The coronavirus pandemic was a time of great learning and self-reflection. You likely are more appreciative and aware than ever before. This time away from social circles and many day-to-day activities has provided you with a different perspective and life lessons that you will never forget. You are a different person than you were when this pandemic began, as we...

March 2, 2021

How to Date More Effectively: Learning to Take the Test

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

You have probably heard the age-old theory that people with great grades or academic success often are great test takers far more than excellent at retaining information. If you recall taking the SAT to get into college, so much of the preparation for that test was understanding how to take the test well, far more than trying to recall specific...

February 9, 2021

COVID and Dating Your Partner

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

The COVID-19 pandemic has affected your day-to-day activities for almost a full year now. Sometimes it’s even hard to remember pre-COVID times when you made the last-minute decision to go to dinner or sit at a bar for happy hour, or even join in a communal table at a popular coffee shop. The pandemic has reduced the frequency of these...

January 31, 2021

Pandemic Frustration: 4 Ways to Make The Best of This Time

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

As we approach almost a year of quarantine and isolation required by the COVID-19 pandemic, you are likely feeling the frustration of the lingering rules and regulations. The social isolation has become an unfortunate way of life and the novelty of online happy hours and home projects has long worn off. You likely feel antsy or a growing energy or...

January 12, 2021

Scrolling & The Couch Potato Effect

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

It’s the end of a long day and you likely feel like “zoning out” with some form of entertainment. In the past, that might have been a good Netflix binge or sitting at a local bar. The popularization of social media and digital communication, coupled with the isolation of the coronavirus pandemic means that more and more people are turning...

January 5, 2021

Recalibrating New Year’s Goals During the Coronavirus Pandemic

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Chances are that your 2021 New Year’s celebrations looked a lot different than years of the past. At the same time, you likely felt relieved to say goodbye to such a challenging year amidst the COVID-19 pandemic. While this time of year is usually full of planning, goals, new year's bucket lists, and resolutions, the pandemic will likely force you...

December 21, 2020

Divorce Perspective: Defining Your Narrative

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

It’s not uncommon to feel a variety of emotions as you go through your divorce. Days of excitement about this new chapter will unfold alongside days of fear, shame, worry and grief. Emotions that you didn’t expect will bubble up, ranging from nostalgia to uncertainty. The ups and downs are normal and healthy as you process this significant life change. Clients...

December 15, 2020

Vulnerability Isn't Like "Breaking the Seal"

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Take a moment to think back to your carefree college years and all the funny beliefs you might have had about dorm life, frat parties, and drinking. You likely remember the age-old saying “don’t break the seal” and the memories of your friends reminding you not to pee if you have been drinking beer because then you would be in...

December 9, 2020

Upholding Boundaries During COVID Fatigue

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

It’s been several long months since the coronavirus pandemic began and we have been asked to shift our lives in ways that were previously unimaginable. Like any kind of restriction in life, from dieting to saving money, there are times when it feels too hard to stay the course. In those moments, you might cave into your desires and eat...

November 25, 2020

Overcoming Overthinking: Four Questions to Ask Yourself

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Do you lie in bed at night with anxious thoughts and a running mind? Do you find yourself fearful about the future for no reason? Do you tend to have the same thoughts over and over again without resolution? If any of these scenarios speak to you, you are likely prone to overthinking or anxious thinking. In our practice in Denver...

November 17, 2020

You Are Not Afraid of New Love, You Are Afraid of Old Pain

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

When I recently read this line on an Instagram post, I quickly jotted it down, eager to share it with my clients as a succinct way to explain something we often discuss in sessions at my practice Center for Shared Insight in Denver, Colorado. As a therapist, I regularly see how clients are reacting to old wounds through their current...

November 10, 2020

Holidays Reimagined: Embrace What Is Possible

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Like so many other milestones and traditions this year, the holidays will look different during the Coronavirus Pandemic than they have in previous years. It will be easy to focus on what and who is missing, the traditions lost, or the sense of collective grief in the air during this time. Instead, we encourage you to plan ahead and decide...

October 26, 2020

Relationship Overlappers

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

If your partner has recently ended your relationship and you find out soon afterward that they already have a new romantic interest, there is a good chance that they began a new relationship before ending yours. This phenomenon is also known as “relationship overlapping”. Relationship overlappers take rebounds to the next level by proactively - though sometimes subconsciously - cultivating...

October 21, 2020

Working Through Trauma with Corrective Experiences

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

We learn nearly everything we know through experiences. That might be the experience of reading about something, doing a certain activity, or being immersed in a situation. These can be positive experiences, like learning how to cook growing up with your mother, chopping vegetables in the kitchen together, or negative experiences such as “learning love” through the relationship with an...

October 6, 2020

Internal and External Validation

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Validation is the need to have your self-worth, opinions, and thoughts recognized as worthwhile. It’s the need to be seen, understood, and accepted. Validation falls into two major categories, with people normally gravitating toward one of these types of validation more naturally: Internal and External. In our work at Center for Shared Insight in Denver, Colorado, we help our clients recognize...

September 22, 2020

Relationship Exits

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

While you may have not heard the exact term “relationship exit” you likely have experienced this situation in your partnerships. Relationship exits are ways you block intimacy or create conflict as a coping mechanism to ensure there is enough space in the relationship. While it’s more common for avoidant attachment types to use exits as an unconscious strategy to prevent...

September 15, 2020

Why is online dating so confusing?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Online dating. It seems like the perfect way to meet an ideal match while being efficient with your time, selective with your choices, and intentional with your approach. Especially if you live in the suburbs or don’t go out much, it appears that online dating would be an excellent way to meet someone you have a lot in common with.

September 8, 2020

How to Communicate Your Dating Goals

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

The success of any relationship in life depends on how it aligns with expectations. Whether that be aligning your actions with your boss’ goals for your role or your partner’s desires, communicating regularly about your goals, needs, and expectations is essential. Especially during the times of change or instability, such as after a break-up or during the coronavirus pandemic, it’s important...

August 25, 2020

Podcast: How Attachment Theory Helps You Grow

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Dr. Kristen Hick and Dave Glaser, host of the Believe Be Real Be Bold Podcast, talk about various topics, from ways to cultivate self-awareness to resolving conflicts with your partner in this podcast. Framed around understanding behavior through attachment styles, Dr. Hick and Dave remind listeners to be more compassionate for themselves and others as they discuss these relationship topics. In...

August 19, 2020

Overcoming COVID Conflict

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

You’ve likely felt heightened tension in your life during the coronavirus pandemic, whether that be with family, friends, neighbors, your boss or even your partner, COVID conflict is everywhere. During this time, you might feel as if we should be appreciating one another more than fighting, but so much change and uncertainty has nearly everyone on edge. Change of any kind...

August 12, 2020

Overcoming Ghosting: Finding Peace in Silence

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Ghosting, or disappearing from a relationship completely without warning or explanation, has been happening more frequently in the last several years. This breakup dynamic is on the rise even more during the pandemic, in part because it’s so easy to “go dark” in a digital world when you are less likely to run into an ex at social gatherings, restaurants,...

July 29, 2020

Getting Out of the COVID Funk

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Do you feel irritated easily, experience days of overwhelming sadness, or feel lonely on a regular basis? Do you feel unable to pull out of a subtle depression or ongoing ambivalence, overwhelmed by all that is unfolding around us during the coronavirus pandemic? If so, you are absolutely not alone. The COVID funk is a real symptom of surviving the...

July 21, 2020

Online Dating: 3 Ways to Create an Authentic Connection in the Digital Age

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

It’s undeniable how much dating has changed as we’ve more fully embraced the digital age, and especially during the Pandemic when our lives have gone fully virtual. Gone are the days of a true “blind date” and today, there are countless ways to both research a potential date as well as “communicate” prior to a first date without even talking.

July 14, 2020

COVID Burnout: Are you functioning in survival mode?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Maybe you’ve been “staying home” for months and have cancelled all your summer travel plans. Perhaps you’ve been isolating with just family and limiting your outings to essential activities only. With so little outside stimulation and activity, you might still feel exhausted. How could this be when you are doing so little? Perhaps it’s because you are functioning in “survival...

June 30, 2020

Decoding Your Feelings of Resentment and Guilt

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Resentment and guilt are two sides of the same coin, and it might be hard to clearly understand which feeling you are experiencing, and how to overcome it. At Center for Shared Insight in Denver, Colorado, we work with clients who are working to better understand how and why these feelings show up and how to find balance between the...

June 23, 2020

Full Summit Divorce Recovery: The Reality of Long-Term Healing

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

If you are going through a divorce, it might feel like it’s an event, and you likely believe that there will be a clear before and after once your papers are signed or your former partner moves out. Yet, if you’ve gone through a divorce several years ago, you might now realize that the letting go and healing in a...

June 17, 2020

Motherhood: Identifying Needs & Understanding Self

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Each phase of life offers a new opportunity to learn something about yourself. Your needs will evolve, your perspective will shift, and you’ll continue to learn more about your own identity if you stay aware and present to what you are experiencing throughout motherhood. So often, clients who work with our team of therapists in Denver, Colorado (especially those with young...

May 26, 2020

Divorce During Coronavirus Pandemic: Interview with Denver Attorney Danaé Woody

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Dr. Kristen Hick of Center for Shared Insight sat down (virtually) with Danaé Woody, Divorce and Family Attorney, founder of the Woody Law Firm, located in Denver, Colorado. They discussed the impact of COVID-19 and the coronavirus pandemic on divorces and custody issues during their 20-minute question and answer session. Danaé has been practicing law for eight years, supporting individuals going...

May 19, 2020

Coronavirus Grief: Mourning Lost Milestones

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

The coronavirus pandemic turned life upside down overnight. In a matter of just days, everything from work to schools to upcoming vacation plans shifted. Not a single person was unaffected by these changes, yet some individuals were more significantly impacted, especially if they had a major life event or milestone on the horizon. If you are pregnant during this time,...

May 12, 2020

Podcast: How Do I Show Up Authentically During Quarantine with Dr. Brittany Woolford

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Dr. Brittany Woolford from Center for Shared Insight joined Dave Glaser on the “Believe Be Real Be Bold” podcast. This podcast helps modern singles and couples build authentic relationships, and in this episode, Dr. Woolford dives into how the quarantine can impact your attachment style and your relationship during the coronavirus pandemic. Your attachment style will affect how you respond to...

April 28, 2020

Coronavirus & Dating: The Corona Goggle Effect

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Do you feel desperate for love and connection to counteract the feelings of isolation during the coronavirus pandemic? Is social distancing making you crave any social interactions, even at the expense of those interactions being less meaningful or authentic? At Center for Shared Insight in Denver Colorado, we’ve been seeing clients with online therapy during social distancing. Through those digital sessions,...

April 21, 2020

8 Ways to Date & Socialize During the Coronavirus Pandemic

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Social distancing during coronavirus is challenging for most people. Especially if you typically have a full social life, tend to be extroverted, or are single, this time of isolation can feel so different from “normal” that it’s almost unbearable. Our team of therapists at Center for Shared Insight compiled this list of date ideas and social opportunities to get you through...

April 18, 2020

Online Therapy FAQ

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

The team at Center for Shared Insight, based in Colorado, recognizes that online counseling wasn’t something we heard much about before the coronavirus pandemic. If you are exploring your options to start therapy during this time, you might be asking yourself “what is video therapy?” or “what is a virtual therapist?” We understand that all forms of web-based therapy might...

March 31, 2020

COVID-19: 3 Ways to Enhance Your Relationship During This Challenging Time

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Not only did your job, social life, and family time get turned upside down overnight, your relationship has also been impacted. The influence of the COVID-19 pandemic and lockdown on couples is being less talked about than so many other aspects of this pandemic, and it’s more important than ever to be conscious of the ways you are interacting with...

March 25, 2020

Online Therapy: Get the Support You Need During COVID-19

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

During this time of global crisis, you don’t have to put therapy on hold. In fact, it’s more important than ever to get the support you need when life is more stressful and challenging than normal. With the impact of the news resulting in high anxiety and fear about everything from the health of loved ones to the impact on the...

March 23, 2020

Dating in the Age of Social Distancing

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

We are navigating unknown waters with the COVID-19 pandemic affecting every aspect of life. With social distancing being the “new normal” for the foreseeable future, you might wonder “what does that mean for dating”? Perhaps “online dating” will take on a whole new meaning as we create new rituals around courtship. But, dating doesn’t have to be completely on hold during...

March 10, 2020

Podcast: Attachment Theory with Kristen Hick

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Dr. Kristen Hick joined Dave Glaser from Believe Be Real Be Bold to record a Podcast about Attachment Theory. On the show, Dr. Hick reminds listeners that not intimately knowing oneself is what holds many individuals back in relationships. She dives into the types of attachment systems and the gravity and polarity those different ways of attaching impact relationships. Throughout...

March 4, 2020

How Taking Responsibility Helps Heal Trauma

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

When you’ve lived through a painful and paralyzing experience such as trauma, it’s easy and common to feel like a victim. The APA defines “Trauma as an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape, or natural disaster." While each person’s experience is different, there is often a myriad of emotional, physiological, spiritual, physical, and even financial effects...

February 25, 2020

Anxiety: Understanding Causes & Ways to Cope

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

At one time or another, you've probably experienced a sense of anxiety in your life. Whether this was due to the stress of a job, the loss of a loved one, a situation at work, or financial hardship, it is normal to experience stress when going through a major life change. However, when fear and worry grow disproportionately and start...

February 11, 2020

Podcast: Attachment and Sex with Dr. Brittany Woolford

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Center for Shared Insight therapist Dr. Brittany Woolford, Ph.D recently talked with Dave Glaser from Believe Be Real Be Bold. Their discussion explored the relationship between attachment systems and sex. Throughout the podcast, Dr. Woolford shares her insights as a therapist as it relates to the way healthy attachment correlates to healthy sex. In this podcast, Dr. Woolford reminds us that...

February 4, 2020

Working with Difficult Emotions

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Difficult emotions are labeled that way because they are difficult to feel, difficult to experience, to name, to own, and to overcome. Some of the emotions that might come to mind as you think about the most difficult things you feel include shame, guilt, fear, rage, grief, regret, and unworthiness. Since these emotions are so difficult to work through, it’s not...

January 28, 2020

How to Discuss Your Kinks With Your Partner

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

When you hear the word “kinks” you may automatically consider the more extreme definition that includes sexual behaviors such as BDSM. However, “kinks” refer to any sexual activity that falls outside of the types of sex that society traditionally considers acceptable. Kinks are healthy, normal, and have a continuum that can even include simply the way you liked to be...

January 21, 2020

The Rollercoaster of Grief

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Overcoming loss in your life, whether that be the death of a loved one or the end of a significant relationship, is full of ups and downs. The highs and lows of the grieving process can feel like a rollercoaster that you can’t get off. There will be days when you feel positive and optimistic about your healing only to...

January 9, 2020

New Year, New You: Letting Go of The Past

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Some milestones in life present a more natural time to let go. Those might be at a birthday when you are reflecting on the past year and what you’d like to manifest in the next year, or during major life shifts such as moving into a new home or changing jobs. The new year is another time where it’s powerful...

December 29, 2019

Managing a Parenting Plan at the Holidays

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Being separated from your kids at any major holiday or birthdays can be emotionally challenging. Your tendency might be to protest the agreement you and your former partner have already made about the parenting plan or try and re-negotiate the plans you confirmed prior to the holiday. Chances are, the parenting plan and custody arrangements are far more difficult for you...

December 22, 2019

Healthy Boundaries, Happy Holidays

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

The holidays are inevitably a time of year in which you’ll spend more time with friends and family. While that can be fun and celebratory, it’s often also stressful and triggering. If you know that you struggle to be around family during the holidays, and that time with parents, siblings, and other relatives makes you more emotional, here are some...

December 16, 2019

Overcoming Holiday Grief

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Whether it’s due to the loss of a relationship, death of a loved one this year, your parenting plan results in less time with your kids, or other unwanted changes you’ve endured in the past year, the holidays aren’t a happy time for everyone. When you are surrounded by music suggesting that “it’s the most wonderful time of the year”...

December 9, 2019

Overcoming Isolation During Divorce

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

If you are going through a divorce, you may be energized by the thought of more freedom, the possibility of new friendships, and the opportunity to rediscover yourself. Imaging dating and a new relationship might be exciting and scary at the same time. While these dynamics will likely unfold, what you might not consider is the feeling of isolation that...

December 3, 2019

Fear of commitment: Understanding the Hidden Signs

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

When you hear the words “fear of commitment” you might initially think of someone who is outwardly afraid of marriage or doesn’t want a long-term commitment in relationships. While this fear can certainly manifest like that, it can also show up as behaviors that are less obvious, and the person experiencing this fear can often mask it as something else. In...

November 12, 2019

Carrying the Emotional Labor of the Relationship

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

In working with hundreds of clients, the therapists at Center for Shared Insight in Denver Colorado often hear phrases like: “I’m overwhelmed.” “I feel so drained.” “I can’t keep all the details straight.” “It’s exhausted managing it all.” If it’s your job to manage your relationships’ details, such as the planning, scheduling, social calendar maintenance, and more, it could take a toll on you. This...

November 5, 2019

Online Reviews: How Would They Change Your Dating Game?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

You’ve probably received feedback on many of the roles you play in your life. As a student, you likely got a report card, and as an employee, you probably had performance reviews. Yet, one of the biggest roles you play is the partner in your relationship, which comes without a formal review process. Unless you and your partner are incredibly...

October 27, 2019

Meet the Team: Ms. Lachele Perdue, Intake Coordinator

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 16.0px Arial; color: #635c53; -webkit-text-stroke: #635c53; background-color: #ffffff} span.s1 {font-kerning: none} Meet Lachele Perdue our Intake Coordinator responsible for connecting new clients to the therapist who is the right fit for them. She also ensures a smooth onboarding process for all new clients, which is so important to their success in therapy. Lachele assists with...

October 23, 2019

Ignoring Red Flags? Here are 3 Possible Reasons Why

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

How many times has a relationship ended in your life and you’ve commented that “there were red flags all along”? Or, how often have your friends pointed out red flags with people you are dating that you may have chosen to ignore, defend, or rationalize? You might even find yourself talking to a friend after the breakup and commenting that...

October 8, 2019

Ways to use social support to prevent postpartum anxiety and depression

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Strategies to manage the roller coaster of emotions following the birth of a child is often an afterthought. So much time is spent preparing for baby, from planning the nursery, to investing in all the gear for breast-feeding, and so little focus is placed on the mother’s postpartum recovery. Social support is a powerful way to address postpartum needs and...

October 1, 2019

How to talk to your partner about an open relationship

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Bridging the topic of exploring an open relationship can be scary. There are dozens of reasons this path might appeal to you, from curiosity to “spicing” up your current core, romantic relationship. No matter the “why”, presenting this idea to your partner can make you feel vulnerable. At Center for Shared Insight in Denver, Colorado, we work with a handful of...

September 17, 2019

The Intersection of Relationships & Suicide

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

While it’s a well-known fact that healthy relationships add to one’s life expectancy, less is known about the effect of relationships and suicide rates. In this post, we’ll examine the impact of positive relationships, toxic relationships, and breakups on suicidal tendencies, signs to look for, and how to get help. Healthy Relationships Not only does a romantic relationship contribute to more happiness,...

September 9, 2019

Meet Camille Virginia, founder of Master Offline Dating

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Camille Virginia is an award-winning writer, founder of Master Offline Dating, and author of The Offline Dating Method. She helps single women ditch the dating apps and attract great men in the real world. She is passionate about helping people create a more fulfilling life across every aspect: friendship, career, family, and romantic. Learn more about Camille and her mission...

September 4, 2019

How to Talk to Your Therapist About Sex

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Some topics are easy to talk with your therapist about, such as problems sleeping, or lack of a work/life balance. Others might require more vulnerability, including gender identity questions or challenges related to sex. At our therapy practice in Denver, Colorado, we encourage clients to have uncomfortable conversations with our team of specialists, including those related to sex. In this...

August 27, 2019

Mixed Signals: Trusting Actions Over Words

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

We’ve all trusted the words of a partner and let promises of change propel the relationship forward. Especially if your love language is words of affirmation the commitments your partner makes to you are vital to building confidence in your relationship. But, how often have your partner’s actions not matched those promising words? How do these mixed signals make you...

August 20, 2019

Growing Through Difficult Situations

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Whether it’s heartbreak, loss, or unwanted change, difficult situations often evoke feelings of anxiety, fear, and sadness. While it’s important to own and honor these very natural responses to challenging times in your life, these periods are also an opportunity for growth. In fact, growth can very often be stimulated by difficulty, and the learning and expansion that occurs during challenging...

August 15, 2019

Meet the Therapists: Dr. Mallaree Blake, PsyD.

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

In this interview with Mallaree Blake, PsyD., we'll learn more about everything from Dr. Blake's favorite way to spend a day to her top book recommendations. Dr. Mallaree Blake, PsyD. provides specialized treatment for pregnancy, perinatal and postpartum health, infertility, dating and relationships, anxiety and depression, sexuality and sexual health, as well as LGBTQ and cultural identity concerns. Therapists have the great honor of witnessing some awe-inspiring changes and human...

August 6, 2019

Meet the Therapists: Dr. Brittany Woolford, PhD.

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

In this interview with Dr. Brittany Woolford, PhD., we'll learn more about everything from Dr. Woolford's journey as a therapist to her favorite food. Dr. Brittany Woolford, PhD. joins our practice to provide specialized treatment for couples and families for issues including relationships, break-ups, divorce, sexual health, military life, and more. Therapists have the great honor of witnessing some awe-inspiring changes and human experiences. What inspires you most about...

July 30, 2019

Relationship Role Models

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

What is a relationship role model and why is it important? In our therapy practice in Denver, Colorado, we often remind clients why it's important to identify ideal relationships to inform how they might improve their own. Having real-life examples can provide more clarity around what you want and don’t want, and help illuminate the path to get there. Do you...

July 23, 2019

Pain & Resistance: Overcoming the Root of Suffering

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D

Painful events in life are inevitable. No matter your socioeconomic status, race, gender, or personal history, it’s certain you’ll experience loss, unwanted change, or death of a loved one throughout your life. You might even currently feel pain within your existing relationship, even if it’s relatively healthy. Or, as a parent, you might feel discomfort about your experience of parenting,...

July 10, 2019

Being Selective: Choosing the Right Relationship

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

So much of what creates fulfillment in life stems from making the right decisions. You make significant choices throughout your life as you decide your career path, whether to have kids, and who to choose as a romantic partner. It’s important to be selective and clear about your values and needs as you make any important decision about your future,...

July 2, 2019

Forgiveness is not a line you cross, it’s a road you take

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

In a recent interview on the Oprah show with Wade Robson and James Safechuck related to the film, Leaving Neverland, Safechuck told Oprah, "Forgiveness is not a line that you cross—it's a road that you take." This profound statement has applications far beyond this film and suggests that forgiveness and healing are a choice, and possible for everyone. In this post,...

June 26, 2019

Sitting in the Pain vs. Sitting in the Story

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

When something painful happens in your life, such as a breakup, loss of a job, or unexpected illness, it’s certain that many emotions will arise. Those might include fear, anger, sadness, regret, betrayal and many others. These feelings, and others that bubble up as you go through a stressful life event, are important to embrace, own, and experience fully. However, in...

June 11, 2019

In Search of Fatherhood: A Male's Experience of Infertility

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

When it comes to challenges around getting (and staying) pregnant, so often the focus and support is geared toward the woman. There are an abundance of support groups, books, and resources to help women overcome the challenging feelings that accompany unsuccessfully becoming pregnant. But, as we all know, it takes two to make a baby, and rarely is the support and...

June 4, 2019

Situationship: 3 Factors That Can Make Them Successful

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

More and more types of relationships emerge as dating becomes increasingly fluid and exploratory. One of the latest examples of this is a “situationship”. Different than a friendship or relationship, Urban Dictionary defines a situationship as “a relationship that has no label on it... like a friendship but more than a friendship but not quite a relationship.” While often situationships are...

May 30, 2019

Yoga & Life: Focusing Beyond the Approach

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

One of the many reasons I gravitate toward the practice of yoga is because of the parallels and metaphors that exist between the poses and life. In a recent class led by Anders Tremont-Nelson in a suburb of Denver, Colorado, I was reminded of an important perspective that not only applies on the mat, but also in many facets of life. The...

May 13, 2019

Moving on: What to do when your relationship isn't meeting your needs

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

When you enter into a relationship, you are likely optimistic that the relationship will last and are hoping for a true long-term connection. When you start to question whether the relationship will last, it might take a while to get honest with yourself. You might initially make up excuses for your partner’s behavior or the lack of overall chemistry. Overtime,...

May 5, 2019

Mother's Day: Ways to Honor All Your Emotions

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Upon hearing the words “Mother’s Day” you may immediately think of the Hallmark version of this holiday, full of flowers, cards, moms and daughters in matching dresses, and fancy brunches. But, that’s not everyone’s experience. Mother’s Day evokes a variety of emotions and can be a very difficult day for many, depending on the circumstances of their family. If you are...

April 28, 2019

The Power of Pre-Marriage Couple’s Therapy

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

You’re engaged! Congratulations on the decision to take your relationship to the next level. Likely, you’ve already put a tremendous amount of effort into your relationship to get it to this stage. You and your partner have probably already endured some ups and downs and ultimately decided that your connection is strong enough to make a deeper commitment. It might feel...

April 16, 2019

Feeling Depleted? Here's the Impact on Your Relationships

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

In a world with endless demands on your time, a growing to-do list, and the pressures created by social media to be nearly perfect, exhaustion is more the norm than not. In fact, according to a recent study conducted by the National Safety Council, 97 percent of working Americans have at least one of the leading risk factors for fatigue.

Getting your needs met in a relationship

April 2, 2019

3 Steps To Take To Get Your Needs Met in a Relationship

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

The success of any relationship hinges on the ability for each partner to get their needs met. This is true of a parent-child relationship, friendship, and romantic partnership. But, that criteria of a successful relationship isn’t as simple as it seems. Getting your needs met is a result of identifying, owning, understanding and communicating those needs effectively. Here are three steps...

March 26, 2019

How and When to Choose a Couple’s Therapist

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Nearly every couple in a long-term relationship goes through times that are challenging, stretches in which they might question the relationship, and periods of frustration with one another. These ebbs and flows are normal and, while challenging, can also be opportunities for growth and learning. Too often, when couples are going through these challenging times, marked by arguments and feelings of...

March 13, 2019

Good For You & Good To You: Getting Clear on Your Relationship

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Relationships can often be a roller coaster. No matter if you are in the honeymoon phase of a new relationship or have been married for years, all partnerships will go through good times and rough patches. Especially if you are dating or in a new relationship, it might be hard to understand the underlying reasons for the ups and downs...

March 6, 2019

Managing the emotions of a divorce

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Divorce is challenging in a variety of ways. You might question whether divorce is the right choice for you, you likely fear the financial impact of divorce, and it’s hard not to notice the emotional roller coaster you are likely experiencing. It’s this, the emotional aspect, that is the most difficult for partners who are separating, according to research from...

February 20, 2019

Identifying Your Emotional Thermometer

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

If you have ever overreacted or “blown up” in a conversation with a loved one, co-worker, parent, or even child, then the practice of tuning into your emotional thermometer would likely be a helpful one. The process of understanding your emotional continuum is especially critical if you have a tendency to spiral out of control during heated discussions and are...

February 5, 2019

Three Reasons Why People Come Together in Relationship

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Attraction can be a mysterious dynamic. You likely have a pattern of attraction or a “type” of person that you end up dating. Maybe your partners don’t look the same, but chances are that the reasons for the attraction are similar when you reflect on individuals you have dated. Do opposites really attract? Do you ultimately end up dating someone like...

January 29, 2019

Good Boundaries Start With Strong Values

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

‘Boundaries’ is a word we throw around casually nowadays as it becomes more mainstream. Maybe you have heard comments like “my resolution this year is to have stronger boundaries” or “better boundaries will help me find more balance in my life”. And, while these comments are true, it’s often difficult to define exactly what “good boundaries” means, especially because they...

January 22, 2019

Recognizing the needs of others during your divorce

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Your marriage impacted far more people than just you and your spouse, and your divorce won’t be any different. The decision to end your marriage will have an impact on your kids, neighbors, families, and friends. It’s important to comprehend their perspective during this time in order to meet their needs and create understanding during this transition. In addition, it’s...

January 2, 2019

Dating Lessons: Navigating the Stages of Relationships

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Life is full of lessons, as are relationships. Through various stages of relationships, you’ll be faced with learnings, opportunities for growth, and the ability to do things differently than you did in the past. It’s when we can use the lessons of our past to improve our future relationships that wisdom results and real progress occurs. Relationships will go through phases...

December 30, 2018

Why Relationships are Like Wine

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Wine is known to be good for your heart, as are relationships. In fact, scientists have concluded that people who are happily married or in long-term committed relationships actually live longer, on average, than their single friends. But that’s not where the analogy ends. Here are three truths about relationships that also important when making wine, and what you can...

December 18, 2018

3 Alternatives to Divorce

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

If you have been struggling in your marriage and are unsure whether divorce is right for you, it’s possible that an intermediate step is more appropriate or attractive. This step may end up serving as a long-term solution for your relationship, or help you understand whether divorce is the correct outcome for your marriage. Sometimes, it may even strengthen your...

December 7, 2018

Losing Yourself in a Relationship

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Think back to your last break-up...Did you feel devastatingly empty, depressed, lost or wonder how you would move forward without this person in your life? If so, you might be prone to losing yourself in a relationship. If you tend to merge with your current partner, assume their likes and dislikes, and take on his or her interests, after the...

November 28, 2018

Decoding Dating Behaviors

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

If you are dating, chances are you’ve been perplexed, confused, or flat out surprised by the behavior of someone you have dated. You might recall restless nights or long conversations with friends talking through how unexpected events unfolded in a relationship that went south. It’s not uncommon at all for there to be a misalignment in what you might be experiencing...

November 20, 2018

Overcoming Challenges: 3 Perspectives to Empower You

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Heraclitus, the great Greek philosopher, is credited with the famous phrase “change is the only constant in life”. While this is undoubtedly true, challenge is also another constant. Life is rarely without a challenge — whether that be minor or catastrophic. It’s how we face and overcome challenge that leads to character. While it’s inevitable that life will hand you...

November 16, 2018

Overcoming Blame: The Other Side Of Divorce

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Divorce is full of heightened emotions including blame, anger, sadness, denial, uncertainty, and sometimes even relief and excitement. Experiencing these feelings and the related phases of change are normal and necessary to get to the other side of divorce. The process is both scary and exciting as you usher out your new life and welcome in all that is possible. In...

November 1, 2018

Is It Time to Leave My Relationship?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

No matter if you’ve been in a relationship for a few months or a few years, it not uncommon to come to a crossroads and wonder if you should leave the relationship, take a “break”, or start seeing other people again. Maybe the chemistry is fading, your partner’s habits and quirks are wearing on you, or you question whether you...

October 23, 2018

Miscarriage: How Reframing Your Thoughts Can be Key to Healing

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

There are very few situations in life as heartbreaking as miscarriage. Likely, you and your partner were overjoyed with the news of a new baby and immediately started planning the details of your expanding family. You most likely shared the news with close friends and family and the announcement was met with congratulatory messages and excitement. The news of a...

October 18, 2018

Dating Lessons from The Bachelorette

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard of The Bachelorette. This reality television dating show was originally a spin-off of The Bachelor and it features an eligible single woman (aka The Bachelorette) who chooses a husband among 25 bachelors. Throughout the season, dating and relationship dynamics, including drama, conflict, and hurt feelings, unfold - much to the...

September 26, 2018

How long should I wait to have sex with my new partner?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

As relationship therapists, one question we get often from clients is how long to wait to have sex with their new partner. Sometimes there is (real or perceived) external pressure from your new partner causing you to ask this question or you might feel that having sex is a way to solidify a new relationship. Other times, having sex with...

September 19, 2018

Being the Observer: A Simple Skill to Overcome Life’s Challenges

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Have you ever been in a situation in which you feel like you can’t get clarity? Maybe you are torn between two choices, or in a fog about what the best next step looks like. This might be the case in a decision around a relationship, job, or any other potential change in your life. Or, you might witness your...

September 11, 2018

4 Strategies to Handle Unwanted Advice as a New Mother

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

New motherhood is a time of radical change. From a changing body to a changing list of responsibilities to a changing sleep schedule, successfully navigating this time is about being flexible and accepting change. It’s natural to overcome the challenges that accompany this change by reaching out to peers, parents, friends and even neighbors for advice and insight. In fact,...

August 26, 2018

The Dating Game: Keeping an Abundance Mindset

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

If you are single and dating, you might feel like there isn’t anyone out there for you. Maybe you think “all the good women or guys are taken” or you tend to settle because you are afraid you’ll be alone forever. Keeping an abundance mindset, even in times of scarcity is important in dating and in life. An abundance mindset...

August 19, 2018

Should I Hire A Postpartum Doula?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Postpartum can be a time of mixed emotions. While there is most likely joy surrounding your newborn baby, those positive feelings can sometimes be accompanied by feelings of overwhelm, exhaustion, and even sadness. Oftentimes, it might feel difficult to talk about some of these feelings in a society that generally views the birth of a new baby as a positive,...

August 14, 2018

Rethinking How You Evaluate a New Partner

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

You meet someone new, whether that be online or through a mutual friend, and you hit it off. The early fog of infatuation is thick and it feels fun and exciting to learn about someone new. There is immediate attraction, both physical and psychological, and you start to size this new potential partner up against a “list” of necessary qualities...

August 5, 2018

Deciding to Stay Home With Baby: 3 Things to Consider

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

One of the most challenging decisions as a new parent is whether or not to go back to work and leave your new bundle of joy in the care of someone else. Deciding to stay home with baby is one of the first, significant parenting decisions you’ll face, and there are several factors to consider -- some of which you...

July 31, 2018

Why does my partner act distant?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Most likely, you have experienced a partner acting distant or disengaged in a relationship. This might look like long response times between communication, not opening up about his/her experience, or at it’s extreme, the silent treatment. This can feel uncomfortable for almost any partner, but if this feels dysregulating to you, it’s most likely due to a tendency towards anxiety...

July 10, 2018

Why Do I Struggle with Accepting Healthy Relationships?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Dating can be exhausting. It’s not only time-consuming and expensive, it can also be difficult to meet someone you really connect with and trust. And, when you do, you may struggle with truly accepting a potentially fulfilling relationship. Instead, you might find yourself, repeatedly, in partnerships that are unhealthy or even dramatic. This is a common behavior in dating, and...

June 27, 2018

How Do I Know if it's "The One"?: Embracing Uncertainty in Relationships

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

When you first start dating someone, you are most likely open-minded. You look forward to learning more about his or her interests, work, and family. You listen intently to your date’s stories and dreams. You probably find yourself imagining what the future could look like with this potential partner. It’s easy to quickly move from that open-minded receptive space to one...

June 21, 2018

How can I trust again after a painful break-up?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

If you are reading this post, you’ve most likely recently been through a breakup or experienced some level of heartache. It’s inevitable that everyone will go through this experience in their life, so remember that you are not alone. Once you’ve worked through the break-up and recognized the lessons, you might be thinking about dating again. And, as you start...

June 12, 2018

Big Changes Start Small

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Maybe you are contemplating a major life change. It could be a new job, change in relationship status, or a habit you want to overcome. No matter what you are trying to shift in your life, it’s important to recognize that change happens in phases and in small steps. If you are struggling with change, it’s most likely due to the...

May 29, 2018

3 Ways to Strengthen Your Relationship After Baby

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Life with a new baby is undoubtedly a joyous experience. From the first giggles to the first steps, there are more memorable moments than you can count. However, as baby becomes the center of the household, it’s natural that your relationship with your partner takes a back seat. The transition to life with baby is one of the most challenging...

May 22, 2018

Understanding and Overcoming Mom Shame

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

When you hear the words “mom shame” you probably think of the judgement and criticism moms have for one another. Psychology Today cites a study in which sixty-one percent of the recipients report that they have been criticized for their child-rearing decisions. While this form of mom shame and judging is highly prevalent and painful, there is another kind of...

May 16, 2018

Identifying Relationship Red Flags

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

We have all been deep into a relationship, went through a breakup, and then saw several red flags in hindsight – after having time to reflect upon things with a new perspective. Seeing life through the lens of experience and wisdom can be a profound thing and yield important learnings. But, what if you had the tools to reduce your...

May 2, 2018

Wedding Planning: Healthy Boundaries, Happy Bride

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Despite the fairytale vision that you likely had in your mind before getting engaged, planning a wedding can be one of the most stressful and emotional experiences in life. Trying to balance both family’s wish lists, blend ideas, and keep plans within budget can add pressure to any relationship. However, enduring these decisions, communicating effectively, and growing as a couple...

April 26, 2018

How to Identify Anxious and Avoidant Daters

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

There are three primary attachment styles in dating – Secure, Avoidant, and Anxious. While people tend to display one predominant style, most people fall somewhere on a continuum from avoidant to secure to anxious, and it can look different when interacting with different people (e.g., dates, parents, or friends). We’ve written about this quite a bit and you can find...

April 18, 2018

Revisiting Your Dating Goals

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

You might approach dating with one end in mind -- marriage (or long-term companionship). However, the insights and learnings that dating uncovers can help better pave your path toward successful marriage or long-term companionship. Instead of narrowly measuring the potential of a relationship by thinking, “Would I marry this person?” ask yourself, “How can I benefit or grow from this...

March 21, 2018

The Power of Daily Rituals: Five to Consider

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Repetition is a powerful teacher. Adding consistency and ritual to your daily life can serve you in many ways including improving productivity, increasing happiness, and boosting mood. Most notably, morning routines have been linked to greater professional success and getting more done overall. Here are some daily rituals to consider – whether they help you through a difficult time or advance...

March 14, 2018

Is My Partner Emotionally Unavailable?

Posted By: Kristen Hick

If you are reading this article, you have probably experienced an emotionally disconnected partner who is unable to articulate feelings on a deeper level. This might feel like a lack of comprehensive connection, that something is missing, or that there is an intentional distance kept between you and your partner. This dynamic can be both painful to manage in a relationship...

March 6, 2018

The Art of Saying "No"

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Do you feel overcommitted, spread thin, and run down? We often see clients who experience these emotions on a daily basis. While consistent self-care rituals are important to overcoming the pressure you might feel from having a packed schedule and long to-do list, the impact of “saying no” in your life is an important part of managing this overwhelmed feeling...

Girl reading the news and looking scared

February 21, 2018

How Can I Read the News Without Becoming Depressed or Anxious?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Perhaps watching the nightly news is a long-standing family ritual, or you start your day by skimming the local and national headlines. If so, you have probably noticed that in the last several years, the weight of those headlines has led to feelings of paranoia, anxiety, and even depression. Especially with gun violence on the rise and regular acts of...

February 13, 2018

Strategies for Overcoming a Desperation for Love

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

In part one of this post, we discussed signs that you may be desperate for love and therefore, compromising what you look for in a partner. Here, in part two, we’ll examine strategies for overcoming this feeling of desperation and how to approach dating and relationships from a grounded, intentional, and healthy mindset. Instead of grasping for relationships that might not...

February 8, 2018

How A Painful Past Can Get in the Way of Your Current Relationship - And How to Fix It

Posted By: Erin Carpenter, LCSW - Thrive Counseling

A painful past has a gravity all its own, and it can pull us down if we’re not careful. It sometimes seems old memories and old patterns assert themselves in the present. This is especially true in romantic relationships. Often a painful past gives us a lens to view that world that is distrustful of others, scared of vulnerability, and...

January 31, 2018

5 Signs You are Desperate for Love

Posted By: Kristen Hick

Have you ever gone to the grocery store hungry? We are all guilty of doing this occasionally. And what happens? You don’t make good decisions. You buy junk food, you buy too much, and you buy things that will solve your problem of hunger the fastest, like sugary, carb-laden foods. And if you snack on those chips on the way...

January 24, 2018

5 Conversations to Have When Preparing for Parenthood

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

You and your partner are expecting! Congratulations. This time is normally full of excitement, anticipation, celebration, and bliss. When you think about preparing for your baby, you might normally register for a list of items you need, consider a bigger house, modify your social calendar, and change your eating/exercise regime. What is often overlooked is answering the tough questions and...

January 17, 2018

What Should I Put in My Online Dating Profile?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Session after session, I listen to clients feeling frustrated, rejected, and hopeless about the online dating process. They feel that they have created a decent profile, put up some pictures of themselves looking their best, initiated unique messages, and yet, no dates. After recently reading a valuable study on online dating profiles and success factors, I was inspired to share a...

January 3, 2018

10 Signs of Postpartum Depression

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Postpartum depression and anxiety and “baby blues” affects more new mothers than you probably think. According to the the American Pregnancy Association, upwards of 75% of new mothers have negative feelings and experiences during the postpartum phase. They are the result of significant hormonal shifts following childbirth and are quite normal, even though they may not feel that way. These...

December 13, 2017

Coping with Divorce and Break-Ups at the holidays

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Saying goodbye to a relationship or even a marriage is tough under any conditions. When these separations happen around the holidays, the grief can be particularly hard to manage. In my work as a Denver therapist, I help clients coping with loss of all kinds all throughout the year, but the loss of a significant relationship around the holidays is...

December 6, 2017

Top Parenting Resources

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Parenting is likely the most fulfilling and challenging role if your life. No matter the age of your kids, days are filled with a mix of highs and lows, often leaving you with questions about the best approach to raising children in this day and age, as well as the impact the responsibility of kids have on your relationship with...

November 21, 2017

3 Strategies for Making Self Care a Lifestyle

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Self care is a trendy topic, with articles suggesting that nightly baths and weekly pedicures might be the road to a more balanced life. While a little pampering can go a long way in alleviating stress, it’s just the tip of the iceberg when we examine real self care strategies. In our work as therapists at Center for Shared Insight, PC,...

November 14, 2017

4 Ways to Practice Gratitude in Difficult Times

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

It’s that time of year when gratitude is top of mind for many. During Thanksgiving month, we see consistent reminders of this word painted on festive candles, hand towels, and other decor. We see it in news headlines and it’s posted all over social media. As a daily practice, gratitude has been proven to lead to more happiness, fulfillment, and joy.

November 8, 2017

Overcoming Relationship Anxiety and Self-Blame

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Have you ever been in a relationship and always felt like you were doing something wrong or something bad was about to happen? Do you have the tendency to blame yourself when things weren’t going as smoothly as you had hoped? Did you find yourself making up stories to explain your partner’s behavior without confirmation from him or her about...

girl laying in grass reading and listening to podcast

October 24, 2017

Top Relationship Resources

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Living in a digital age with endless content can be overwhelming. In my work as a Denver therapist, I often hear from clients that they’ve researched a topic related to relationships on the internet, and haven’t always received the best advice from forums or unreliable sources. Below you’ll find a collection of top relationship resources that provide solid insight backed by...

October 18, 2017

My Relationship Felt so “Easy” in the Beginning – What Went Wrong?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

In my work as a relationship therapist, I help clients overcome a variety of relationship challenges by helping provide insights into their experiences and strategies for overcoming common roadblocks. A challenge I often hear about as a relationship therapist is that the beginning of a relationship felt “easy” and months – or years – later, one or both partners are now...

couple lying on the floor together smiling

October 4, 2017

Understanding the Phases of Change

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Relationships, like life, are full of change. If you desire to shift any dynamic in your relationships, you must be prepared for and understand how to navigate the natural stages of change. If your partner in a romantic relationship is attempting to shift his or her behavior such as breaking an addiction, changing long-standing communication patterns, or being more present when...

September 19, 2017

Emerging Womanhood: Finding Yourself After Kids

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

You’ve spent the better part of the last two to ten years putting your children’s needs far above your own. You’ve spent countless months on a nursing and/or pumping schedule, long nights rocking little ones, and endless days cleaning up after them. Your children have consumed nearly all of your time and energy, and you have possibly even thrived within...

September 13, 2017

The Key to Making Couple’s Therapy Work: Regular Maintenance

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

In my work as a Denver therapist, I regularly witness the power of individual therapy to heal relationship problems. Setting aside time to talk about the way your relationships influence your thoughts and behaviors one-one-one with a trained relationship psychologist is paramount to transforming a relationship. Many couples choose couples therapy in addition to, or sometimes instead of, individual therapy to...

September 6, 2017

3 Reasons Black and White Thinking Can Damage a Relationship

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Do you think in black and white or fifty shades of gray? Do you prefer absolutes, certainty, and a clear relationship path or a more spontaneous relationship journey? Do you spend too much time thinking about the ultimate outcome of a relationship rather than simply embracing the moments with your loved one? Black and white thinking is a common relationship dynamic...

August 22, 2017

4 Ways to Overcome the Lingering Grief of Divorce

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

While most people know that the process of divorce can be grueling and painful, it’s a common mistake to think that once the papers are signed, the suffering and grief will also come to an end. Enduring the financial, emotional, and psychological pain of separation from a partner you thought you’d spend your life with is excruciating, but it’s a...

August 15, 2017

Dating Down: Understanding Why You Choose Who You Choose

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

“Dating down” is relatively new relationship terminology but the concept has been around for ages. Even just a century ago, individuals might have been pressured to marry into certain families with certain social status, or been influenced by dowries. Dating outside your social status could be viewed as the modern day equivalent of these dynamics. While it’s important to look beyond...

August 9, 2017

Why Do I Keep Attracting the Same Partner? How Past Trauma Attracts Relationship Drama

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Do you ever feel like you are attracted to, date, or even marry the same type of people over and over again? Do all of your relationships fall into a similar pattern and end due to the same dynamics? Does it feel like you attract or invite this relational pattern into your life, perhaps without consciously being aware of it? If...

July 25, 2017

Relationship Question Answered: When Should I Introduce My Kids to My New Partner?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Relationships can be challenging to navigate. When you add kids into the mix, they quickly become downright complex. Understanding the right time to introduce your kids to your significant other, and potentially meet his/her kids as well, is a very personal decision and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly. While there is no hard and fast rule about when this...

July 19, 2017

Beyond Codependency: What is Your Relationship Built On?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

We hear a lot of buzz about codependency as a common relationship dynamic. However, there are several other types of dependency in relationships, and determining yours can provide valuable insight into the health of your partnerships. Both interdependency and independency are other forms of relationship interaction along the dependency continuum. When you can better understand how your relationship is built, or...

July 5, 2017

Relationship Question Answered: Should I Commit to this Relationship or Keep Looking?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

In my work as a relationship therapist in Denver, Colorado, clients often question whether their partner is the best possible match and try to determine whether to keep looking for a better fit. Often this consideration is coupled by a broader “fear of missing out” (FOMO) as clients wonder whether they are settling or if there might be an even...

June 21, 2017

Uncovering the Lessons of a Break Up

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

While often the end of a relationships is a time marked by grief, sadness, and regret, it can also be a time of discovery, learning, and maybe even a sense of liberation. In my work as a relationship therapist, I see individual therapy clients who struggle with breakups and heartache regularly, and refocusing their energy on the lessons and potential growth...

June 18, 2017

Spread Too Thin: 4 Reasons You Fail to Set Healthy Boundaries

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

In my work as a relationship therapist, specializing in attachment theory, one phenomenon I often see is overcommitted women and men struggling to stay on top of competing priorities, resulting in complete exhaustion and burnout. If you feel depleted, overwhelmed, burned out, or inundated, it might be time to revisit the commitments in your life and restructure where needed. The challenge...

May 31, 2017

Moving Too Fast: The 4 Things You Shouldn't Do Early in a Relationship

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the excitement of a new relationship. You easily get swept away in the fun of learning all about a new person and experiencing the “firsts” together – first time holding hands, first kiss, the first time he/she calls you “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”. During this thrilling time of infatuation, it’s easy to get wrapped...

May 17, 2017

The Only 2 Criteria You Need to Evaluate a Relationship

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

In the age of information overload, it’s common to want to evaluate a relationship with a long list of pros and cons, or do online research about “signs of the right relationship” instead of simply trusting your intuition, or inner compass when it comes to evaluating the health of your romantic partnerships. Because you have so many tools at your fingertips,...

May 9, 2017

Understanding Your Tendency to be Attracted to Drama in Relationships

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

The Relationship Roller Coaster, as I like to call it, is filled with emotional, exciting, and at times, frustrating ups and downs, twists and turns, and thrills. The drama and unpredictability of roller coasters is what gives you the excitement and surge of neurochemicals in your brain, and the very thing that gets you hooked and getting back in line...

April 26, 2017

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Even in the best of relationships, at some point, you might question whether you should stay committed or leave your relationship and possibly start over with someone who might be an even better fit. This may happen in the first few months when you are still understanding whether someone is an ideal partner, or years down the line when you...

April 11, 2017

How Your Mindset Predicts Relationship Success

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

The basic beliefs you have about yourself and your control over your future make up your mindset. Research performed by Stanford Psychologist Carol Dweck and summarized in Brain Picking’s recent article by Maria Popova, suggests that while this perspective may shift due to circumstances or personal variables, individuals fall in two core buckets when it comes to mindset: Fixed or...

April 6, 2017

Four Things You Must Do to Fully Heal from a Break-Up

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

The devastation of having a romantic relationship come to an end – especially if you feel the choice was not yours – can be heart-wrenching. Longer relationships may leave you with a feeling of emptiness as a former lover might have been part of your daily rituals. If your partnership was shorter, but intense and meaningful, you may have lost...

March 26, 2017

Relationship Question Answered: How do I overcome my fear of intimacy?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Intimacy is a necessary part of any healthy relationship. While it’s most common to think of intimacy as physical closeness, intimacy takes many important forms in a healthy relationship such as emotional closeness, friendship, intellectual alignment, and attachment. A close cousin to intimacy is vulnerability, which is a willingness to put yourself at risk for heartache, rejection, or abandonment, in...

March 12, 2017

3 Ways Individual Therapy Will Help Your Relationship

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

When you think of therapy to help your romantic relationship, you probably imagine the classic scene with a couple sitting around with a therapist, each taking turns discussing their core problems and each telling his or her own side of the story. While that model has been the norm for decades, it may not be the most effective in helping...

Person sitting alone at water with head in hands

March 8, 2017

I’m Considering a Divorce – Now What? (Part II - What you Need to Know During Your Divorce)

Posted By: Interview with Danaé D. Woody, Family Law Attorney

In Part I, we discussed the divorce process and how to build your professional team in order to best prepare you for what lies ahead. In Part II, we discuss what you may need to know once you find yourself in the divorce process. We cannot cover all of your possible questions here, so please reach out to me if...

February 23, 2017

I’m Considering a Divorce – Now What? (Part I - Preparing for the Process)

Posted By: Interview with Danaé D. Woody, Family Law Attorney

This is part one of a two-part series. You are at a crossroads. Maybe you never thought you’d reach this point in your marriage, or maybe you have been thinking about it for a long time. Either way, you need a place to get started. The reality of getting a divorce can be overwhelming. However, when you simplify the concept and...

Girl and guy on a bridge look at eachother

February 16, 2017

Why is my partner pulling away as we get more serious?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

At Center for Shared Insight, PC, we are committed to answering your most burning relationship questions. In fact, the very core mission of our practice includes sharing insight gathered from thousands of hours spent supporting, educating and guiding clients on their personal journeys of better understanding relationship dynamics. While pulling away in a relationship is often attributed to male behavior, this...

February 5, 2017

Singles: 3 Memorable Ways to Celebrate Valentine's Day Solo

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Having a “single” relationship status can be difficult during notable holidays that often involve couples and family – especially Valentine’s Day. For some, it may be a glaring reminder that you are single when the rest of the world says you “should” be in a relationship with a significant other. For others, it may be a welcomed day in which...

January 17, 2017

Is Therapy Right for Me?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

When you are motivated to change and improve your life, there are a myriad of avenues within your reach to help you get there. In today’s hyper-connected world, you probably rely on a wide range of solutions to help meet life’s goals – everything from accountability apps, to self-help books, to online support groups, to life coaches – especially if...

January 11, 2017

4 Tell-tale signs you know it's time to move forward with a divorce

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000} p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px 'Helvetica Neue'; -webkit-text-stroke: #000000; min-height: 14.0px} span.s1 {font-kerning: none} span.s2 {text-decoration: underline ; font-kerning: none; color: #9e4b2f; -webkit-text-stroke: 0px #9e4b2f} It might be the most difficult decision you’ve made your entire live, and the one that will most impact your future happiness: “Should I get...

Lady pinning new years intentions to a vision board

December 20, 2016

The power of Manifestation: 6 steps to help set successful New Year’s intentions

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

It’s that time of year when almost everyone takes time to reflect on the year’s past and look forward to needed changes as the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s eve. While it’s important to engage in evaluation practices and set short-term goals throughout the year, here are some tips for setting and reaching realistic goals in every part of your...

December 6, 2016

Ways to Bring Closure to Your Year

Posted By: Kristen Hick

The holidays are a powerful, reflective time of the year and the transition to a new year often necessitates a sense of introspection about our impact in the world. Many of you may look back on 2016 and remember fondly the good that came into your life. Whereas, others may feel a sense of loss, anger, tragedy, and/or heartache, and...

November 30, 2016

How to Prepare for a Solo Holiday

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

The holidays are classically known as a joyful time to unite with friends, family, and loved ones. The media portrays a consistent image that the holidays are a blissful time of reunion and generosity. This experience is most likely the ideal. Yet, thousands of people are coming out of a breakup or divorce each year during the holidays and learning...

November 16, 2016

Politics + Love: 3 Ways to survive political differences in relationships and families

Posted By: Kristen Hick, PsyD

It’s often true that differing opinions can enrich and positively affect a relationship – whether that be a romantic relationship, friendship, or family dynamic. Not seeing eye-to-eye can oftentimes lead to embracing important values like empathy and can help broaden our personal perspectives. Stepping into another’s shoes and listening to his/her opinion on important issues can be an opportunity to...

Unhappy couple looking away from each another

October 19, 2016

Understanding an Over-Critical Partner

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Many couples struggle with a partnership that is built on an ideal of “perfect.” The expectation that a partner shouldn’t do anything slightly “wrong,” and the nit-picking and fault-finding that accompanies such partnerships, can leave the criticized partner feeling confused and frustrated, wondering what they have done wrong and how they can make it right again. However, it usually has...

couple embracing with a beautiful view after hiking

October 12, 2016

Dating Gone Right: 5 Date Ideas That Foster Authentic Connection

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

In a world of speed dating and swiping, it’s more difficult than ever to make an authentic connection with a potential love interest. Online dating is a constant distraction reminding us to question “what else is out there” and open relationships are more commonplace than ever. As a mindful dater in this world, it probably feels extremely challenging to truly get...

girl sitting on a bench looking at skyline

October 3, 2016

Benching: A Psychologist’s Analysis of the New “Ghosting”

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

You have, no doubt heard of ghosting, but a new dating trend is leaving people feeling unclear about where they stand. Here’s one take on BENCHING. There’s a new dating tactic in town and if you’ve been out there chasing love, you’ve probably encountered this sneaky, but effective scheme. It’s called “benching.” Since it was first written about by New York Times...

September 23, 2016

Relationship Questions Answered: Should I Give Online Dating a Try?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

If you are single and living now, in the 21st Century -- at a time of rapidly evolving technology and instant gratification, you have probably given online dating some consideration. Most of my clients share that they have hesitations around it, yet feel that it’s necessary to try as a way to potentially overcome challenges of meeting aligned partners. Online...

September 13, 2016

Dating After Divorce: Are you Ready?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Divorce can be both a heart-wrenching and liberating experience, depending on the circumstances of your dissolution. It’s often also a time of confusion, and necessitates self-reflection. No matter the details of such a separation, an intentional, directed recovery is often key to successful dating and future relationship happiness. Too often, as a divorcee, you may feel excited about the prospect of...

August 31, 2016

Part 2: 3 Strategies to Overcome Relationship Anxiety

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

In Part 1 of this series, we discussed signs of relationship anxiety - overthinking, game-playing and self-sabotage - and the common experiences of people who struggle with this challenge. Here, we’ll provide a three-step process for overcoming relationship anxiety in your life. Like the desire to change any unhealthy habits in life, the first step is being committed to the...

Girl looking sad and confused on park bench

August 23, 2016

Part 1: 3 Signs You Might be Struggling with Relationship Anxiety

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

In my work as a psychologist, I help clients overcome past relationship trauma, understand setbacks, and assist them in clearing space and recognizing healthy new relationships in their lives. Oftentimes, these new relationships can trigger unresolved feelings or patterning that become a kind of anxiety about a new love. If you have ever felt overly nervous, find yourself constantly analyzing your...

girl swinging with an empty swing next to her

August 9, 2016

Are Relationships Your Drug of Choice?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Pick your poison, Friends! We all get addicted to the feel-good high of certain habits or hobbies… but what if your drug of choice is relationships? Everyone has something—something that helps the not-so-good times feel just a little bit better, including you. Maybe it’s a bowl of rocky road ice cream or a glass of red wine after a challenging day at...

July 26, 2016

Letting Go Without Closure: 6 Strategies to Help Healing

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Breakups are difficult, even when we get that often-desired last conversation with our beloved. It’s natural to seek a dialogue at the end of a relationship for a variety of reasons -- including to learn what you could have done to be a better partner, understanding why the relationship failed, or for feedback on a certain aspect of the relationship.

July 22, 2016

Part 2: Partner Patterns -- What Neuroscience teaches us about Relationships

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

In part one of this series, we revealed that the root of feelings and emotions is caused by chemical forces in the body. These releases of hormones are completely out of your control and become the foundation of almost all relationships -- with attraction, lust, and attachment paving the way to true relationship. In this section, we’ll explore why we love...

July 12, 2016

Part 1: Partner Patterns -- What Neuroscience Teaches Us About Attraction

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Butterflies in your stomach, sweaty palms, a pounding heart and a preoccupation with thoughts of your beloved are surefire signs of a new romance. Yet, what often feels like “love at first sight” or intense early chemistry is simply the result of a neurochemical cocktail released in your body. Oftentimes, in my work as as a psychologist, I witness the confusion...

June 29, 2016

The Fog of Infatuation: 5 Ways to Remain Clear During Early Relationship Bliss

Posted By: Kristen Hick

If you are reading this article, it’s likely that you recently experienced the allusive fog (Tatkin, 2016) of a new relationship. Or, perhaps you recognize a habitual pattern of unclear judgement in the early stages of a partnership. In a related Center for Shared Insight blog post on the Honeymoon Phase of relationships, we discussed the challenges of what’s called limerence,...

June 21, 2016

Part 3: Dating, Relationships and Attachment Style

Posted By: Kristen Hick

In part 1 of this series, we decoded the origin of attachment styles and in part 2, described common attachment patterns and what they mean. Here, we’ll dive deeper into the dance between attachment systems and the resulting relationship dynamics. Noting the interplay of attachment styles provides fascinating insight into your possible relationship dynamics. While most people have a tendency to...

June 16, 2016

Part 2: What is Your Attachment Style and What Does it Mean?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

The ideal way to determine your attachment style is to work with a psychologist who is well-versed in attachment theory as it relates to relationships. A professional can help you assess what your attachment style is, understand how it developed, and how it affects your current and future relationships. In addition, there are questionnaires and books (Tatkin, 2016) that can also be helpful...

June 9, 2016

Part 1: Understanding Adult Attachment Theory: The Impact of Your Childhood on Today’s Relationships

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

While we often think of attachment as something a child develops with a parent or caregiver, understanding the way we meet or attach to others can provide powerful insight into our relationship dynamics as adults. A deeper understanding can also help us understand and prepare for challenges that will arise in dating and relationships, which we will dive into in...

May 25, 2016

Am I Dating a Narcissist?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Dating has changed dramatically in the last decade. With texting being an integral part of relationships, to shifting gender roles, the dating world is in a constant state of evolution. The advent of online dating allows singles to easily meet a variety of people outside their circle of friends, and therefore, the odds of encountering a partner with personality issues...

May 18, 2016

Dating Beyond “Looks Great On Paper”

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Dr. Hick tells us how to look beyond the dating “list” to find a deeper, uncharted way of dating. Let’s look beyond what’s on paper and date more mindfully. Everyone has either shared or heard a tragic dating story that starts with, “He/She looked great on paper.” You’ve probably even created—perhaps rewriting many times over—a “list” of your own, outlining all...

May 10, 2016

Moving Beyond the Honeymoon Phase: 4 Strategies to Make Love Last

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

The butterflies, the adrenaline, and untainted hope, and the joy of something new. The honeymoon phase of a relationship – usually defined as anything from the first 90 days to the first year – is the utopic beginning of romance and usually the most beloved phase of a partnership. Interestingly, as relationship expert and Certified Gottman Couples Therapist, Zack Brittle shares,“The...

April 27, 2016

Part 2: Strategies to Maintaining Fearless, Healthy Boundaries

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Knowledge of what boundaries are, how they are learned and how fear can influence your boundary setting likely led you to the question, “So how do I set and maintain a healthy boundary?” The first step to setting healthy boundaries is to get extremely clear on the desired boundary (refer back to Fearless Boundaries: Healthy Boundaries for Better Relationships). Ask yourself...

April 19, 2016

Part 1: Fearless Boundaries: Healthy Boundaries for Better Relationships

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

In a world of endless choices, desires, and opportunities, the practice of forming boundaries is something we don’t often consciously learn in our formative years. As an adult, you might not completely understand exactly what a boundary is, how it is established, and why it is helpful to you. Boundary-building is a relatively new skill to learn and establishing these...

April 7, 2016

Spring Self-Renewal: 5 Tips for a Love-Filled Spring

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Dr. Hick believes these steps will get you on the path to spring self-renewal—with sunshine, new experiences, and love for yourself, your life, and others. You did it! You made it through the unbearably long, cold, and short days of winter. Now it’s time to come out of hibernation mode and start the energizing springtime self-renewal process—for a happy, healthy, more love-filled...

March 31, 2016

Love Addiction: A Quest to Fill the Void

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Love addiction might sound like an alluring phenomenon, and definitely doesn’t immediately imply something concerning. However, while true love addiction is not readily talked about or as widely understood or discussed like other addictions, love addiction is a very real disorder that affects approximately 3% of US adults. Love as an Addiction Individuals who are addicted to love are both similar to...

March 29, 2016

Spring Relationship Revival (Part II): Dating Renewal Plan

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Spring is finally here and with that comes new life and renewed energy for life and love. As we embrace the season of renewal, spring provides an ideal backdrop for meaningful reconnection, and if you’re single, an opportunity to refresh the outlook on your love life. In your not-so-distant past, the long Winter months made it easy to fall into stale...

March 22, 2016

Spring Relationship Revival (Part I): Recapture Romance with our Renewal Plan

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Historically, spring has been a time synonymous with new life, and a time to leave the stale energy of winter behind. It’s a time to focus again on partnership following the natural “cooling off” period of winter. As we embrace the season of renewal, spring provides an ideal backdrop for meaningful reconnection, or if single, an opportunity to refresh the...

March 8, 2016

Divorce Recovery: Navigating the Divorce Process

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Divorce, separation, and the associated heartache is something we hope to experience very little in life. Losing an important person, whether the parting was your choice or not, is an excruciating experience -- and nearly all of us have been through it at least once. They say that “time heals all wounds” and while true, connecting with others going through...

March 2, 2016

Anxiety Decoded: When Stress and Worry Become “Normal”

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Life is full of a myriad of emotions. From joy to frustration, and peace to anger, we all also experience an occasional sense of nervousness or worry. Normal times to feel this would be amidst a major life change (positive or negative), going on a first date, alongside a major commitment like a public speech or important meeting at work,...

February 25, 2016

Normalizing the Postpartum Journey: Giving Voice to Life as a New Mom

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

In my practice as a Denver psychologist, many mothers report shame, confusion and upset about their experience of anxiety, worry, depression, and difficulty connecting after their new baby arrives. A variety of questions arise alongside these feelings that are difficult to discuss. Below, you’ll find some of the top issues that surface with this unique population of women and practices...

couple, man, woman, dating, holding hands

February 8, 2016

How Dating Changes: 20s, 30s & Beyond

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

There’s no getting around it. As we age, dating changes. Instead of lamenting the loss of your 20s mentality, lets celebrate why this is actually good news. Contrary to your waistline, hang-over recovery time, and grown-up expenses likely increasing in your 30s, the time your relationships last have unfortunately (or fortunately) shortened. Ever think to yourself or hear your friends say, “My...

February 6, 2016

Loving Better this Valentine's Day with Love Languages

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Valentine’s Day. Two words that can conjure up a whole host of feelings that run the spectrum from joy to dread. What’s certain is that Valentine’s Day will most definitely make you think of one 4-letter word: LOVE. As a Denver relationship therapist, I witness stories daily that remind me how love is the most elusive, confusing, and sought-after feeling on...

Winter Self Care - Reading in front of fire

January 13, 2016

Winter Self Care: 7 Tips for the Winter Blues

Posted By: Kristen Hick

Does winter have you worn down, unmotivated, blue, tired, and/or restless? Winter is classically the time of year when people tend to hibernate, rest, and reflect. If you are fortunate to live in a place like Colorado where we experience four distinct seasons, there is a sense of appreciation for winter, even if it’s not the most beloved season. The...

January 12, 2016

The Stories We Tell Ourselves: Change The Story, Change Your Relationships

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

If you want a brighter future in life (and dating!) start by looking inward. The stories we tell ourselves impact everything… and we do mean everything. The stories we tell ourselves are powerful, so powerful that they have the power to change the course of our future. Find out how to harness this power to change the course of your dating...

woman, reflection, 2015, 2016, New Year's

January 6, 2016

Reflection Checklist - Take Inventory of Your Life

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

As a Denver psychologist specializing in dating, relationship, and divorce issues, I regularly witness the power of active reflection as a personal development tool used to fully move forward. It’s critical to do so at any turning point in life -- the new year, a change in jobs, the close of a relationship, or moving into a new home. These...

December 22, 2015

Making Resolutions Stick

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

January. It's the time of year when we have a universal clean slate to start again, begin anew, and reset. As a clinical psychologist in Denver, I regularly incorporate goal-setting, resolutions, and commitments into my work with clients. During this time of year, I witness a heightened motivation and greater desire to change patterns and behaviors for a population dedicated...

December 15, 2015

A Year of Fearless Living: Lean into Fear & Learn to Love

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

It’s been twelve whole months since Dr. Hick helped us embark on a year of fearless living. Here, she offers some final wisdom to our grateful hearts. Well folks, it’s been a year—a year of stepping outside of your comfort zones, imagining how your life, work, relationships, and health could be different, of expanding yourself beyond what you thought was possible—through...

Holidays, Mindfulness, Happy Holidays, Christmas, Joy

December 4, 2015

Making the Holidays Mindful

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Staying aware of triggers and patterns throughout the holiday season As a relationship therapist in the Denver area, I witness varying client emotions arising throughout the season, making the holidays both the most exhilarating and challenging time of the year. To help clients cope with the holiday season more adaptively, I share four coping strategies to support managing holiday stress and...

November 15, 2015

5 Ways to Make Gratitude a Daily Ritual

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Countless studies from renowned organizations including Harvard Health and PsychCentral confirm that making gratitude a daily ritual leads to a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life. Thanksgiving is a natural time to reflect on our relationships, health, financial blessings and all that is good. As a psychologist in the Denver metro area, I witness the transformational power of intentional gratitude...

November 10, 2015

Single for the Holidays: How to Fearlessly Thrive

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

For some, being single for the holidays is akin to some sort of personal torture. But with a little fearlessness… it most certainly doesn’t have to. The holiday season: I can probably imagine what comes to mind…joyous times with family, stress-free travel plans, and generous gifts from your special someone. Basically, picture-perfect experiences full of happiness. Not quite consistent with your holiday memories?

Fearless Living - Fearless Communication

October 28, 2015

Dr. Hick's Guide to Fearless Living in 2015: A Step-By-Step Guide to Fearless Communication

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Use your voice. Speak your truth. Be honest. Easier said than done…until now. Get ready for fearless communication, Darling. This is a step-by-step guide, brought to you by Dr. Hick, Denver psychologist. In the first part of this Fearless Living in 2015 piece, I shared an intimate story of a dear friend’s experience of growth and transformation. While this was a vital...

October 12, 2015

Dr. Hick's Guide to Fearless Living: The Fearless Talks That Will Transform Your Relationships

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

How we use our voice is often determined in childhood, but these things can change. Fearless talks can transform everything, especially your dating life. A fearless break through in loving communication happened for a dear friend this week. She graciously allowed me to share the story of her path to transformation. For years, “Sarah” had struggled to express her true feelings, to...

September 15, 2015

Dr. Hick's Guide to Fearless Living in 2015: Fearless Boundaries - How to Set Better Boundaries for

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

While personal space and depth of conversation are unique to the individual, distance can hinder our ability to connect. Is it time for better boundaries? Dr. Hick, Denver relationship therapist, chimes in. Boundaries. By now, I’m sure you’ve heard this term thrown around a fair bit. And yet, if you are like many people, you are likely still a little fuzzy...

August 12, 2015

Help: I’m Not Getting Any Messages, Online Dating Isn’t Working!

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Radio silence when online dating—you’re sending messages but not receiving any replies, does this mean online dating isn’t working? No way! So you’ve taken the plunge—the online dating plunge. You’ve crafted a good profile. You’ve discussed the activities and interests that are meaningful to you and that you hope to find in potential mates. You’ve selected your best looking photos—a couple of...

August 4, 2015

Is “Fear of Missing Out” Really Just a Fear of Commitment?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Are you on the hunt for the next thrill, date, or message? FOMO can be a fear of commitment, and Dr. Kristen Hick, Denver relationship therapist, knows how to open hearts to love again. Greener pastures. A better fit for your “list.” A more “suitable” partner. No matter what you call him or her, or the general idea, that “perfect fit” keeps...

July 2, 2015

Dr. Hick's Guide to Fearless Living in 2015: Break Free - How to Banish FOMO for Good

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Dr. Hick, Denver psychologist, shines a light on a common problem: preoccupation with everything but the present. It’s time to shift focus and enjoy this moment to the max. We’re all guilty of it. We work, work, work our busy selves away—on the job we love, the job we hate, or the career we are trying relentlessly to create. We work so hard...

June 8, 2015

Dr. Hick's Guide to Fearless Living in 2015: The Secret to Life-Altering Sex - Fearlessness

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

It’s about to be summer and as the days – and nights – are heating up, we’ll explore how to have fearless sex. If you’re new to Dr. Hick’s Guide to Living Fearless in 2015, I’ll give you the scoop. This year, we’re delving into what relationships could be like – what life could be like – if lived fearlessly. To...

May 14, 2015

Yoga of Dating Part V: How Pratyahara Will Transform Your Dating From the Inside Out

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Do any of the following descriptions remind you of your own dating experiences? “A cobb salad, some yummy ingredients, but a whole lot of lettuce underneath.” “Horrifying.” “An assembly line of the same ole’ thing in a slightly different package.” Yes, unfortunately, these are real-world depictions of singles’ experiences out in the dating world. Dating is full of funny stories, romantic gestures, and...

May 5, 2015

Dr. Hick's Guide to Fearless Living in 2015: How to Renew a Relationship (Any Relationship at All)

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

As your year of living fearlessly continues, our focus turns towards this unique time of year. There is an energy bouncing around us, within us and through us and, a renewed hope and rejuvenated spirit—it’s Spring! Regardless of where you live, winter is a time for hunkering down, eating delicious holiday foods and spending more time indoors—even if you spend them at the ski lodge...

April 2, 2015

Fearless Living in 2015: Don’t Fall in Love, RISE in Love

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

I think we’ve all done enough damage with this whole “falling” in love thing. Yes, the initial descent can feel pretty amazing, but oh, the inevitable collapse on the other side of that bliss, no matter how pure our initial intentions. As a part of our year-long focus on Fearless Living, let’s choose another aim. This year let’s rise in love...

March 4, 2015

Dr. Hick’s Guide to Fearless Living in 2015: Date Fearlessly

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

In last month’s installment of Fearless Living in 2015, we explored how loving yourself fearlessly—including all of your flaws, imperfections, and quirks—could change your life. I hope that taking time to reflect on a daily and ongoing basis provided new insights into your current blocks and helped you envision how life-changing loving yourself can be. Furthermore, I hope this focus got...

February 3, 2015

Dr. Hick’s Guide to Fearless Living in 2015: Loving Yourself

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

February’s Focus – Loving Yourself February is a time in which most people focus, ponder, or obsess about loving someone else or finding someone to love. Valentine’s Day has turned into a day to say to the world, “See, I am worthy of love!” Unfortunately, this inevitably lends itself to feeling unworthy of love if you’re single, or to a potentially...

January 20, 2015

Exposing Old Wounds to Give Love its Best Chance

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Sometimes current issues are rooted deep in the past—a past we must honor to heal from. Dr. Hick, Denver relationship therapist, helps us in exposing old wounds to find a happier today. Some of you were lucky enough to have had a pretty “normal” childhood. What is “normal” these days, you ask? Well I don’t mean picture-perfect, Leave It To Beaver style,...

January 12, 2015

Dr. Hick’s Guide to Fearless Living: An Introduction & January Goals

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

For most skiers, the first day of the new ski season is racked with anticipation: wondering what the snow will be like, checking over and over that you still have your gloves, speculating how your new gear will perform. There’s a child-like giddiness that keeps you sleepless the night before, just imagining the possible adventures the upcoming season might hold. This...

Mother and child in front of Christmas tree

December 18, 2014

10 Tips for Surviving the Holidays After A Divorce

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Nothing kills holiday cheer like the fresh residue of divorce. Kristen Hick, Denver relationship and divorce therapist, walks us through moving on and making happiness a part of your new tradition. At a time when family and friends get together to celebrate, the holiday season can be a painful reminder of what was, what will never be, and who is not...

December 3, 2014

The Yoga of Dating (Part IV): Pranayama

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Is dating as easy as breathing? Hardly. Dr. Kristen Hick discusses how in order to date well and create healthy relationships, one must master Pranayama. Yoga In yoga, an almost 2000-year-old physical, emotional and spiritual health practice, breathing is an essential component. In fact, it is one of eight essential sutras of yoga. In past blogs, I have made use of the first...

November 25, 2014

Handling the Holidays: Bringing Your New Love Home

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Ah, the first trip home with a new love. Before you back out to avoid dealing with your wacky family, check out Dr. Hick’s tips for handling the holidays. I was catching up with a dear friend last week, and she brought up a great (and timely) topic: bringing her new beau home for the holidays for the first time. As...

November 13, 2014

5 Reasons Your Relationships Keep Failing

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

If you’re like many of the individuals I help, you’re wondering why your relationships never seem to work out as happily as you intend. Certainly there are relationships that can surprise you in some very unsavory ways, no matter how much foresight you have or how long you’ve been together (think mid-life crisis gone very bad). However, my experience is that...

October 30, 2014

Lessons From the Mountain: What Hiking Teaches Us About Relationships

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

"There’s no doubt that some relationships will end, but some potentially good ones require you to push past whatever is going on to get to the other side." As is true for so many who find their way to Colorado, I fell in love with the Rocky Mountains from day one. They are magnificent, beautiful, offer a Utopian escape from city...

October 13, 2014

The Yoga of Dating (Part III): Asana – Date Worthy Postures

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

To grow in a relationship with another, you must also grow in multiple directions and stay balanced. This is advice I regularly share with clients as a Denver relationship therapist. Asana refers to the physical practice that most people think of when they think of yoga, but, as you’ll see, it also provides a helpful model for thinking about how we lean...

September 24, 2014

The Relationship Tango: Time to Waltz Instead?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

The lesson that will transform your relationships forever. Last week I sat with my friend “Sarah,” as she described how hopeless and exhausted she’s felt lately, specifically in regards to her newly-blossoming relationship with a man named “Matt.” Sarah thinks the world of Matt—he’s charming, successful, generous and (may I say) easy on the eyes. Yet despite Matt’s attractive qualities, Sarah’s not...

September 16, 2014

How to Prepare Yourself for the Perfect Relationship

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Create your perfect relationship through making yourself the perfect partner. What is “Perfect” Anyway? First let’s start by qualifying what I mean by a “perfect” relationship. As a Denver relationship psychologist, I regularly witness people envisioning a “perfect” relationship as being one that mirrors the fantasy created by Hollywood and advertising executives to help you buy in to what they are selling:...

September 11, 2014

The Yoga of Dating (Part I): The Five Yamas

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

The Yoga of Dating Have you ever wished that someone would outline a few universal rules for dating? Rules that made the exciting, nerve-racking, fun-but-mysterious process of dating a little more clearly defined? A set of rules that others were sworn by oath to follow in order to gain clearance to ask that certain someone out on a date? If so, you’re...

September 11, 2014

The Yoga of Dating (Part II): The Five Niyamas

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Niyamas of Yoga and Dating The five niyamas outline the principles in which how we should treat ourselves. Remember what I said about wanting a set of rules to guide dating experiences? Not only would it benefit you to adhere to the five yamas (how to treat others), but to date well, you need to be a good date. To do so,...

August 26, 2014

"Run to the Altar" Syndrome: 10 Signs You're Not Ready for Marriage

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

If you’ve been to a grocery store check-out line, turned on the television, or even connected with friends on social media sites, chances are you’ve been inundated by the magazines, commercials, reality shows, advertisements, etc. portraying a fantasy-driven story line pertaining to marriage. The entire objective of this media is to get you to buy in to the idea of marriage—that...

August 26, 2014

What Makes a Man: Finding the Way Out of Boyhood

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Sitting at a local restaurant patio with a girlfriend, I couldn’t help but overhear the conversation taking place between three gentlemen sitting next to me, who looked to be in their late 30s to early 40s. One would expect they were of the age of men, correct? To the untrained eye, why of course. One guy, let’s call him “Tom,” was...

July 3, 2014

Red Light. Yellow Light. Green Light. Are You Ready to Date Again?

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

It’s been a couple of months since he/she broke your heart. You’ve spent time sulking, crying, being angry and talking it out with close friends. You may have drunk your fair share of wine and/or gotten to know your local bartender better than you used to. You’ve thrown away pictures and returned items of clothing and possessions to your ex. Perhaps you...

June 11, 2014

The Internal Compass: Using Intuition to Date More Mindfully

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Using that little voice inside can keep us safe from unsavory situations. Learn how using intuition can help you blossom into a more mindful dater. If you are reading this, you are probably invested in knowing yourself more intimately than the average person. You’ve probably done your fair share of work on resolving the past and creating new narratives in your life. You are...

May 6, 2014

Are You a Relationship Hoarder? How To Heal Through a Breakup or Separation

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

How To Heal (For Real) Through a Breakup or Separation. We’ve all seen the shows. An “expert” comes in to a person’s home, filled wall to wall with veritable mountains of stuff. Some people are holding on to papers in case they need that one precious piece of information later, unsure if they’ll remember it on their own. Some fill their...

April 29, 2014

Jumping From One Relationship Frying Pan Into Another

Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Change the way you move on and find a truly healthy relationship! Ever find yourself considering moving on from that not-so-happy-not-so-healthy relationship by diving head first into another one? You are not alone. This is an extremely common human response to frustration, but the cost can be higher than you might anticipate. A friend was telling me recently about how she was...