Divorce can be one of the most emotionally disorienting times in a person’s life. Whether you're just beginning the process or deep in it, you may be wondering how to emotionally prepare for divorce — not just to survive it, but to come through it with clarity, strength, and as little harm as possible to yourself and your children.
Trauma can feel like a dark shadow that lingers, making an appearance at the most inopportune moments in life. Contrary to popular belief, trauma isn't limited to those who have experienced wars or survived severe accidents. It can emerge from moments that others may consider insignificant, but were deeply distressing to you personally. Some trauma involves real or ...
When it comes to your mental health, the importance of authentic connection and feeling understood are paramount. Whether you're facing a major life change, managing chronic stress, or seeking personal growth, group therapy offers a unique space for healing and building self-awareness. Among the various forms of group therapy, process-oriented groups stand out because they include a specialized ...
As a Denver therapist specializing in attachment theory, I often work with clients who are working through challenging dynamics within a relationship. The dance of connection is full of steps and moves that impact the overall harmony between partners. Learning to ask yourself “will this create distance or connection?” can be a helpful step in cultivating more satisfying relationships.
Going through a divorce can be a complex journey, and you’ll likely face everything from managing strong, and in many cases, painful, emotions to making confusing financial decisions. Having the right guidance and resources can help you navigate this transition with clarity and confidence.
From legal considerations to financial planning and emotional support, the choices made during this ...
Our perception of narcissism has evolved beyond labeling individuals as “narcissists” when they act overly self-important. While characteristics associated with overt types of narcissism often grabs our attention, its lesser-known counterpart, covert narcissism, is often more subtle in relationships. In this blog post, we'll explore covert narcissism, its prevalence, characteristics, and the challenges it poses, particularly within dating, ...
When it comes to co-parenting, navigating post-divorce dynamics with your former spouse is likely emotionally challenging. Years ago, the conventional arrangement wasn't always a 50/50 split, as it often is today. Even just a few decades ago, dads would typically have their children on weekends and some holidays, and those precious days became a time for fun and ...
Imagine a world where you are not energized by the drama in your romantic life, the excitement of your dating stories, or the craziness of your relationship experiences. Can you picture a life where you are content with the ordinary moments of dating and embrace the beauty of “normal”?
In a society that often celebrates the extraordinary, it’s ...
Motherhood is a journey filled with joy, love, and countless precious moments. You’ll likely never forget the first time you heard your child say “mama” or watched your little one take their first steps. However, it's also a path of mixed emotions, and one of the most complex feelings new mothers experience is grief. Yes, you read that right—grief ...
Both healthy boundaries and good posture provide a solid foundation for your well-being. Much like good posture aligns your body for physical health and vitality, healthy emotional boundaries align your relationships for more harmony. In this article, we explore the parallels between these two concepts and how they contribute to a healthier, more balanced life.
Everyone has a fundamental need for connection, understanding, and validation. When your needs go unmet, or you have past trauma you haven’t healed, you’ll often try to work out these past situations - seeking to repeat the dynamics until you work through it - through your current relationships, sometimes without even realizing it. This is often the case ...
Your journey as a mother has likely brought up complex feelings about your own limitations, self-worth, and identity. Becoming a mother also forces you to question whether your pre-parenthood expectations are realistic, attainable, or even desirable anymore. So often this manifests as letting go of perfect parenting and working to overcome any shame or disappointment that arises ...
Codependence is often thought of as being overly dependent or even “needy” or addicted to having a partner in your life (usually a romantic partner, but not always). However, codependent behaviors can also include being controlling, over-managing situations, mothering others, changing yourself to fit in, and more. If you are overly focused on monitoring how others are doing or ...
When you are frustrated with your partner, it often feels easier in the moment to let things go or “sweep them under the rug” to keep the peace. While some small quirks, like their chronic habit of leaving dishes in the sink, might be good candidates for acceptance, more significant points of friction, like how often they check their ...
You may hear about dating scammers in the news, and most of these stories are about scammers trying to extort money from innocent people. While that is something to be concerned about, there are also scammers out there who present false or dishonest information in an effort to gain your attention, affection, and/or admiration. You may be especially vulnerable ...
If you have ever been in a store with a screaming child, you can relate to the feeling that you’ll do anything to quiet your child so you can complete the errand you sought out to do. Even if that means letting them play with your phone, buying them that stuffed animal they wanted to hold in the shopping ...
Creating security and safety in a relationship is key to unlocking vulnerability and trust. However, many individuals aren’t accustomed to feeling psychologically safe in a relationship. This is likely due to individuals experiencing the common dating games and confusion, as well as a concern to assert one’s needs, fearing that they won’t be well-received or met.
Just like ...
If you are online dating, chances are you are reviewing a number of dating profiles and looking for alignment in values, interests, and life goals. It’s easy to get your hopes up when you run across a dating profile that seems to be an ideal fit. Once you meet that person in real life, you may notice that the ...
Relationships can be confusing to navigate and understand. If you are experiencing dynamics in your relationship that seem more intense than expected, ongoing or seemingly out of the blue, like withdrawal, unexplained or unusual conflict, or an inability to work through certain situations, don’t assume it is something you are doing. So often, past trauma is the root ...
Historically, women have been faced with the decision to choose a career or kids, and even men to some degree, if their partner was very successful. In the most traditional circumstances, women gave up their career for several years to stay at home with the kids. More recently, we saw more women who wanted to remain in the workforce ...
At various times in your life, you put yourself on the back burner due to other priorities, responsibilities, or pressing demands. This could be due to everything from health concerns to caregiving responsibilities to major life changes. This deprioritization of self can only last so long before you end up feeling depleted, lost, purposeless, or exhausted. As you ...
Before you take the next step in your relationship, consider checking in about the emotional health of the partnership. Similar to the practice of discussing each other’s sexual health before having sex, discussing emotional health before you move forward with a significant relationship milestone, like being exclusive, is critical. If you don’t evaluate the emotional health of a ...
At Center for Shared Insight in Denver, Colorado, we see clients who are experiencing the full spectrum of relationship challenges. Some clients are working to stay engaged in a long-term marriage, while others are struggling with online dating—and everything in between. A handful of clients we see have been struggling for a long time with finding the right ...
Feeling bored in your relationship might feel inevitable. After time, relationships tend to fall into predictable patterns, which can be beneficial if you crave stability, but can also lead to relationship boredom. Especially if you have been with your partner for a while, you may feel that you are in a rut. This feeling is also common if you ...
In almost all parts of life, our brains are programmed to be unconsciously drawn to what is most familiar. Sometimes this can be a positive thing and create productive patterns in your life, such as in cases where you are drawn consistently to nurturing friends or to jobs with companies that have great corporate cultures. Other times, this can ...
Do you often feel frustrated that you haven’t connected with potential partners in the ways you want while dating? Do you tend to rely on the opinions of others too much when evaluating whether someone is the right partner for you? At Center for Shared Insight, in Denver Colorado, we often work with clients who feel this way and, ...
There is so much to do post-divorce, from reimagining life without your spouse to helping your kids and family understand the changes, it is easy to feel both overwhelmed and excited about what lies ahead. For a long time, you might be stuck in the logistics of your post-divorce life, sorting through new school pickup schedules or work adjustments ...
It is that time of year again when we start to reflect on the year behind us and focus on the changes we want to make in the future. While that can be a healing and rejuvenating process, it can also bring up feelings of failure or a sense that you are stuck in a rut. Maybe you ...
If you find yourself stuck in a challenging divorce due to a difficult ex-spouse, you may feel like your anger and frustration will never end. Perhaps you are working through ...
Through my work as a therapist at Center for Shared Insight in Denver, Colorado, themes often emerge as I engage with clients about what is happening in their lives. One of the recent themes is around how the choices you make today impact the ease of your future life. In any given situation, from dating, to work, to ...
If you ultimately wanted your divorce, you may have felt moments of relief and happiness as you finalized plans to move forward in life without your former spouse. And even in this case, there can be unexpected moments and stages of grief - ranging from anger, disbelief or denial, sadness, depression, bargaining to change it, and finally, acceptance - ...
Just knowing that others are experiencing the same challenges and dynamics in relationships is sometimes comforting. That’s why we have compiled this list of resources for you to learn from other professionals who are willing to share their knowledge, research, experiences, and learnings so that others may feel less alone on their dating journey.
Here are some top resources ...
It’s Friday night and, again, you wish that your weekend plans included time with a romantic partner. Maybe you’ve been sifting through online dating profiles for months and have gone on a handful of dates, but nothing has materialized. You log into one of your online dating apps and you almost feel a sense of dread as you again ...
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that someone uses on you to gain control in a partnership, which could be with a loved one, boss, family member or others. The behaviors and comments that accompany gaslighting make you question your own sanity, sense of reality, the past, and can feel as if you are going “crazy.’ If you ...
You have likely heard the expression “if you give an inch, they’ll take a mile”. This saying, which translates to the idea that if you give someone a little power or freedom, they will try and get a whole lot more, applies to so many situations in life.
At Center for Shared Insight in Denver, Colorado, we often hear ...
It’s easy to be on auto-pilot when you are meeting someone new. There is likely a list of questions you ask without even thinking ranging from “what do you do for a living?” to “where did you grow up?”. While these questions might give you surface-level or basic information about a person, maybe even based on a mental ...
In part one of this post, we discussed how this concept applies to goals or changes you might want to make in your life, from career to health to self-care. In part two of this post, we’ll explore how this timeless truth “If you do what you did, you get what you get” impacts your romantic relationships, dating, ...
This quote, or a variation of it, has been attributed to automotive tycoon Henry Ford, motivational speaker Tony Robbins, and even Albert Einstein. No matter who and when it was first coined, it is a timeless truth and one that can help you take back your power and find your potential during times of uncertainty, frustration, boredom, apathy, ...
Recently, I had the opportunity to connect with Dr. Rania Kahn, OBGYN at a local women’s health practice in Denver Colorado, not far from the Center for Shared Insight therapy practice. During our conversation, Dr. Kahn shared some startling news. She has never diagnosed so many positive cases of sexually transmitted diseases, sometimes several in a single visit, than ...
The coronavirus pandemic was a time of great learning and self-reflection. You likely are more appreciative and aware than ever before. This time away from social circles and many day-to-day activities has provided you with a different perspective and life lessons that you will never forget. You are a different person than you were when this pandemic began, as ...
You have probably heard the age-old theory that people with great grades or academic success often are great test takers far more than excellent at retaining information. If you recall taking the SAT to get into college, so much of the preparation for that test was understanding how to take the test well, far more than trying to recall ...
The COVID-19 pandemic has affected your day-to-day activities for almost a full year now. Sometimes it’s even hard to remember pre-COVID times when you made the last-minute decision to go to dinner or sit at a bar for happy hour, or even join in a communal table at a popular coffee shop. The pandemic has reduced the frequency of ...
As we approach almost a year of quarantine and isolation required by the COVID-19 pandemic, you are likely feeling the frustration of the lingering rules and regulations. The social isolation has become an unfortunate way of life and the novelty of online happy hours and home projects has long worn off. You likely feel antsy or a growing ...
It’s the end of a long day and you likely feel like “zoning out” with some form of entertainment. In the past, that might have been a good Netflix binge or sitting at a local bar. The popularization of social media and digital communication, coupled with the isolation of the coronavirus pandemic means that more and more people ...
Chances are that your 2021 New Year’s celebrations looked a lot different than years of the past. At the same time, you likely felt relieved to say goodbye to such a challenging year amidst the COVID-19 pandemic. While this time of year is usually full of planning, goals, new year's bucket lists, and resolutions, the pandemic will likely ...
It’s not uncommon to feel a variety of emotions as you go through your divorce. Days of excitement about this new chapter will unfold alongside days of fear, shame, worry and grief. Emotions that you didn’t expect will bubble up, ranging from nostalgia to uncertainty. The ups and downs are normal and healthy as you process this significant ...
Take a moment to think back to your carefree college years and all the funny beliefs you might have had about dorm life, frat parties, and drinking. You likely remember the age-old saying “don’t break the seal” and the memories of your friends reminding you not to pee if you have been drinking beer because then you would be ...
It’s been several long months since the coronavirus pandemic began and we have been asked to shift our lives in ways that were previously unimaginable. Like any kind of restriction in life, from dieting to saving money, there are times when it feels too hard to stay the course. In those moments, you might cave into your desires and ...
Do you lie in bed at night with anxious thoughts and a running mind? Do you find yourself fearful about the future for no reason? Do you tend to have the same thoughts over and over again without resolution?
If any of these scenarios speak to you, you are likely prone to overthinking or anxious thinking. In our practice ...
When I recently read this line on an Instagram post, I quickly jotted it down, eager to share it with my clients as a succinct way to explain something we often discuss in sessions at my practice Center for Shared Insight in Denver, Colorado. As a therapist, I regularly see how clients are reacting to old ...
Like so many other milestones and traditions this year, the holidays will look different during the Coronavirus Pandemic than they have in previous years. It will be easy to focus on what and who is missing, the traditions lost, or the sense of collective grief in the air during this time. Instead, we encourage you to plan ...
If your partner has recently ended your relationship and you find out soon afterward that they already have a new romantic interest, there is a good chance that they began a new relationship before ending yours. This phenomenon is also known as “relationship overlapping”. Relationship overlappers take rebounds to the next level by proactively - though sometimes subconsciously - ...
We learn nearly everything we know through experiences. That might be the experience of reading about something, doing a certain activity, or being immersed in a situation. These can be positive experiences, like learning how to cook growing up with your mother, chopping vegetables in the kitchen together, or negative experiences such as “learning love” through the relationship ...
Validation is the need to have your self-worth, opinions, and thoughts recognized as worthwhile. It’s the need to be seen, understood, and accepted. Validation falls into two major categories, with people normally gravitating toward one of these types of validation more naturally: Internal and External.
In our work at Center for Shared Insight in Denver, Colorado, we help ...
While you may have not heard the exact term “relationship exit” you likely have experienced this situation in your partnerships. Relationship exits are ways you block intimacy or create conflict as a coping mechanism to ensure there is enough space in the relationship. While it’s more common for avoidant attachment types to use exits as an unconscious strategy ...
Online dating. It seems like the perfect way to meet an ideal match while being efficient with your time, selective with your choices, and intentional with your approach. Especially if you live in the suburbs or don’t go out much, it appears that online dating would be an excellent way to meet someone you have a lot in common ...
The success of any relationship in life depends on how it aligns with expectations. Whether that be aligning your actions with your boss’ goals for your role or your partner’s desires, communicating regularly about your goals, needs, and expectations is essential.
Especially during the times of change or instability, such as after a break-up or during the coronavirus ...
Dr. Kristen Hick and Dave Glaser, host of the Believe Be Real Be Bold Podcast, talk about various topics, from ways to cultivate self-awareness to resolving conflicts with your partner in this podcast. Framed around understanding behavior through attachment styles, Dr. Hick and Dave remind listeners to be more compassionate for themselves and others as they ...
You’ve likely felt heightened tension in your life during the coronavirus pandemic, whether that be with family, friends, neighbors, your boss or even your partner, COVID conflict is everywhere. During this time, you might feel as if we should be appreciating one another more than fighting, but so much change and uncertainty has nearly everyone on edge.
Ghosting, or disappearing from a relationship completely without warning or explanation, has been happening more frequently in the last several years. This breakup dynamic is on the rise even more during the pandemic, in part because it’s so easy to “go dark” in a digital world when you are less likely to run into an ex at ...
Do you feel irritated easily, experience days of overwhelming sadness, or feel lonely on a regular basis? Do you feel unable to pull out of a subtle depression or ongoing ambivalence, overwhelmed by all that is unfolding around us during the coronavirus pandemic? If so, you are absolutely not alone. The COVID funk is a real symptom of ...
It’s undeniable how much dating has changed as we’ve more fully embraced the digital age, and especially during the Pandemic when our lives have gone fully virtual. Gone are the days of a true “blind date” and today, there are countless ways to both research a potential date as well as “communicate” prior to a first date without even ...
Maybe you’ve been “staying home” for months and have cancelled all your summer travel plans. Perhaps you’ve been isolating with just family and limiting your outings to essential activities only. With so little outside stimulation and activity, you might still feel exhausted. How could this be when you are doing so little? Perhaps it’s because you are functioning ...
Resentment and guilt are two sides of the same coin, and it might be hard to clearly understand which feeling you are experiencing, and how to overcome it. At Center for Shared Insight in Denver, Colorado, we work with clients who are working to better understand how and why these feelings show up and how to find balance ...
If you are going through a divorce, it might feel like it’s an event, and you likely believe that there will be a clear before and after once your papers are signed or your former partner moves out. Yet, if you’ve gone through a divorce several years ago, you might now realize that the letting go and healing ...
Each phase of life offers a new opportunity to learn something about yourself. Your needs will evolve, your perspective will shift, and you’ll continue to learn more about your own identity if you stay aware and present to what you are experiencing throughout motherhood.
So often, clients who work with our team of therapists in Denver, Colorado (especially those ...
Dr. Kristen Hick of Center for Shared Insight sat down (virtually) with Danaé Woody, Divorce and Family Attorney, founder of the Woody Law Firm, located in Denver, Colorado. They discussed the impact of COVID-19 and the coronavirus pandemic on divorces and custody issues during their 20-minute question and answer session.
Danaé has been practicing law for ...
The coronavirus pandemic turned life upside down overnight. In a matter of just days, everything from work to schools to upcoming vacation plans shifted. Not a single person was unaffected by these changes, yet some individuals were more significantly impacted, especially if they had a major life event or milestone on the horizon. If you are pregnant during this ...
Dr. Brittany Woolford from Center for Shared Insight joined Dave Glaser on the “Believe Be Real Be Bold” podcast. This podcast helps modern singles and couples build authentic relationships, and in this episode, Dr. Woolford dives into how the quarantine can impact your attachment style and your relationship during the coronavirus pandemic.
Your attachment style will ...
Do you feel desperate for love and connection to counteract the feelings of isolation during the coronavirus pandemic? Is social distancing making you crave any social interactions, even at the expense of those interactions being less meaningful or authentic?
At Center for Shared Insight in Denver Colorado, we’ve been seeing clients with online therapy during social distancing. ...
Social distancing during coronavirus is challenging for most people. Especially if you typically have a full social life, tend to be extroverted, or are single, this time of isolation can feel so different from “normal” that it’s almost unbearable.
Our team of therapists at Center for Shared Insight compiled this list of date ideas and social opportunities to ...
The team at Center for Shared Insight, based in Colorado, recognizes that online counseling wasn’t something we heard much about before the coronavirus pandemic. If you are exploring your options to start therapy during this time, you might be asking yourself “what is video therapy?” or “what is a virtual therapist?” We understand that all forms of web-based therapy ...
Not only did your job, social life, and family time get turned upside down overnight, your relationship has also been impacted. The influence of the COVID-19 pandemic and lockdown on couples is being less talked about than so many other aspects of this pandemic, and it’s more important than ever to be conscious of the ways you are interacting ...
During this time of global crisis, you don’t have to put therapy on hold. In fact, it’s more important than ever to get the support you need when life is more stressful and challenging than normal. With the impact of the news resulting in high anxiety and fear about everything from the health of loved ones to ...
We are navigating unknown waters with the COVID-19 pandemic affecting every aspect of life. With social distancing being the “new normal” for the foreseeable future, you might wonder “what does that mean for dating”? Perhaps “online dating” will take on a whole new meaning as we create new rituals around courtship.
But, dating doesn’t have to be completely ...
Dr. Kristen Hick joined Dave Glaser from Believe Be Real Be Bold to record a Podcast about Attachment Theory. On the show, Dr. Hick reminds listeners that not intimately knowing oneself is what holds many individuals back in relationships. She dives into the types of attachment systems and the gravity and polarity those different ways of attaching ...
When you’ve lived through a painful and paralyzing experience such as trauma, it’s easy and common to feel like a victim. The APA defines “Trauma as an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape, or natural disaster." While each person’s experience is different, there is often a myriad of emotional, physiological, spiritual, physical, and even ...
At one time or another, you've probably experienced a sense of anxiety in your life. Whether this was due to the stress of a job, the loss of a loved one, a situation at work, or financial hardship, it is normal to experience stress when going through a major life change. However, when fear and worry grow disproportionately and ...
Center for Shared Insight therapist Dr. Brittany Woolford, Ph.D recently talked with Dave Glaser from Believe Be Real Be Bold. Their discussion explored the relationship between attachment systems and sex. Throughout the podcast, Dr. Woolford shares her insights as a therapist as it relates to the way healthy attachment correlates to healthy sex.
In this podcast, ...
Difficult emotions are labeled that way because they are difficult to feel, difficult to experience, to name, to own, and to overcome. Some of the emotions that might come to mind as you think about the most difficult things you feel include shame, guilt, fear, rage, grief, regret, and unworthiness.
Since these emotions are so difficult to work ...
When you hear the word “kinks” you may automatically consider the more extreme definition that includes sexual behaviors such as BDSM. However, “kinks” refer to any sexual activity that falls outside of the types of sex that society traditionally considers acceptable. Kinks are healthy, normal, and have a continuum that can even include simply the way you liked to ...
Overcoming loss in your life, whether that be the death of a loved one or the end of a significant relationship, is full of ups and downs. The highs and lows of the grieving process can feel like a rollercoaster that you can’t get off. There will be days when you feel positive and optimistic about your healing only ...
Some milestones in life present a more natural time to let go. Those might be at a birthday when you are reflecting on the past year and what you’d like to manifest in the next year, or during major life shifts such as moving into a new home or changing jobs. The new year is another time where ...
Being separated from your kids at any major holiday or birthdays can be emotionally challenging. Your tendency might be to protest the agreement you and your former partner have already made about the parenting plan or try and re-negotiate the plans you confirmed prior to the holiday.
Chances are, the parenting plan and custody arrangements are far more
The holidays are inevitably a time of year in which you’ll spend more time with friends and family. While that can be fun and celebratory, it’s often also stressful and triggering. If you know that you struggle to be around family during the holidays, and that time with parents, siblings, and other relatives makes you more emotional, here ...
Whether it’s due to the loss of a relationship, death of a loved one this year, your parenting plan results in less time with your kids, or other unwanted changes you’ve endured in the past year, the holidays aren’t a happy time for everyone. When you are surrounded by music suggesting that “it’s the most wonderful time of the ...
If you are going through a divorce, you may be energized by the thought of more freedom, the possibility of new friendships, and the opportunity to rediscover yourself. Imaging dating and a new relationship might be exciting and scary at the same time. While these dynamics will likely unfold, what you might not consider is the feeling ...
When you hear the words “fear of commitment” you might initially think of someone who is outwardly afraid of marriage or doesn’t want a long-term commitment in relationships. While this fear can certainly manifest like that, it can also show up as behaviors that are less obvious, and the person experiencing this fear can often mask it as ...
In working with hundreds of clients, the therapists at Center for Shared Insight in Denver Colorado often hear phrases like:
“I’m overwhelmed.”
“I feel so drained.”
“I can’t keep all the details straight.”
“It’s exhausted managing it all.”
If it’s your job to manage your relationships’ details, such as the planning, scheduling, social calendar maintenance, and more, it ...
You’ve probably received feedback on many of the roles you play in your life. As a student, you likely got a report card, and as an employee, you probably had performance reviews. Yet, one of the biggest roles you play is the partner in your relationship, which comes without a formal review process. Unless you and your partner are ...
Meet Lachele Perdue our Intake Coordinator responsible for connecting new clients to the therapist who is the right fit for them. She also ensures a smooth onboarding process for all new clients, which is so important to their success in therapy. ...
How many times has a relationship ended in your life and you’ve commented that “there were red flags all along”? Or, how often have your friends pointed out red flags with people you are dating that you may have chosen to ignore, defend, or rationalize? You might even find yourself talking to a friend after the breakup and ...
Strategies to manage the roller coaster of emotions following the birth of a child is often an afterthought. So much time is spent preparing for baby, from planning the nursery, to investing in all the gear for breast-feeding, and so little focus is placed on the mother’s postpartum recovery. Social support is a powerful way to address postpartum needs ...
Bridging the topic of exploring an open relationship can be scary. There are dozens of reasons this path might appeal to you, from curiosity to “spicing” up your current core, romantic relationship. No matter the “why”, presenting this idea to your partner can make you feel vulnerable.
At Center for Shared Insight in Denver, Colorado, we work with a ...
While it’s a well-known fact that healthy relationships add to one’s life expectancy, less is known about the effect of relationships and suicide rates. In this post, we’ll examine the impact of positive relationships, toxic relationships, and breakups on suicidal tendencies, signs to look for, and how to get help.
Not only does a romantic relationship ...
Camille Virginia is an award-winning writer, founder of Master Offline Dating, and author of The Offline Dating Method. She helps single women ditch the dating apps and attract great men in the real world. She is passionate about helping people create a more fulfilling life across every aspect: friendship, career, family, and romantic. Learn more about Camille and her ...
Some topics are easy to talk with your therapist about, such as problems sleeping, or lack of a work/life balance. Others might require more vulnerability, including gender identity questions or challenges related to sex. At our therapy practice in Denver, Colorado, we encourage clients to have uncomfortable conversations with our team of specialists, including those related to sex. In ...
We’ve all trusted the words of a partner and let promises of change propel the relationship forward. Especially if your love language is words of affirmation the commitments your partner makes to you are vital to building confidence in your relationship. But, how often have your partner’s actions not matched those promising words? How do these mixed signals ...
Whether it’s heartbreak, loss, or unwanted change, difficult situations often evoke feelings of anxiety, fear, and sadness. While it’s important to own and honor these very natural responses to challenging times in your life, these periods are also an opportunity for growth.
In fact, growth can very often be stimulated by difficulty, and the learning and expansion that occurs ...
In this interview with Mallaree Blake, PsyD., we'll learn more about everything from Dr. Blake's favorite way to spend a day to her top book recommendations.
Dr. Mallaree Blake, PsyD. provides specialized treatment for pregnancy, perinatal and postpartum health, infertility, dating and relationships, anxiety and depression, sexuality and sexual health, as well as LGBTQ and cultural identity concerns.
Therapists have the great honor ...
In this interview with Dr. Brittany Woolford, PhD., we'll learn more about everything from Dr. Woolford's journey as a therapist to her favorite food. Dr. Brittany Woolford, PhD. joins our practice to provide specialized treatment for couples and families for issues including relationships, break-ups, divorce, sexual health, military life, and more.
Therapists have the great honor of witnessing ...
What is a relationship role model and why is it important? In our therapy practice in Denver, Colorado, we often remind clients why it's important to identify ideal relationships to inform how they might improve their own. Having real-life examples can provide more clarity around what you want and don’t want, and help illuminate the path to get there.
Painful events in life are inevitable. No matter your socioeconomic status, race, gender, or personal history, it’s certain you’ll experience loss, unwanted change, or death of a loved one throughout your life. You might even currently feel pain within your existing relationship, even if it’s relatively healthy. Or, as a parent, you might feel discomfort about your experience of ...
So much of what creates fulfillment in life stems from making the right decisions. You make significant choices throughout your life as you decide your career path, whether to have kids, and who to choose as a romantic partner. It’s important to be selective and clear about your values and needs as you make any important decision about your ...
In a recent interview on the Oprah show with Wade Robson and James Safechuck related to the film, Leaving Neverland, Safechuck told Oprah, "Forgiveness is not a line that you cross—it's a road that you take." This profound statement has applications far beyond this film and suggests that forgiveness and healing are a choice, and possible for everyone.
When something painful happens in your life, such as a breakup, loss of a job, or unexpected illness, it’s certain that many emotions will arise. Those might include fear, anger, sadness, regret, betrayal and many others. These feelings, and others that bubble up as you go through a stressful life event, are important to embrace, own, and experience ...
When it comes to challenges around getting (and staying) pregnant, so often the focus and support is geared toward the woman. There are an abundance of support groups, books, and resources to help women overcome the challenging feelings that accompany unsuccessfully becoming pregnant.
But, as we all know, it takes two to make a baby, and rarely is ...
More and more types of relationships emerge as dating becomes increasingly fluid and exploratory. One of the latest examples of this is a “situationship”.
Different than a friendship or relationship, Urban Dictionary defines a situationship as “a relationship that has no label on it... like a friendship but more than a friendship but not quite a relationship.” While ...
One of the many reasons I gravitate toward the practice of yoga is because of the parallels and metaphors that exist between the poses and life. In a recent class led by Anders Tremont-Nelson in a suburb of Denver, Colorado, I was reminded of an important perspective that not only applies on the mat, but also in many facets ...
When you enter into a relationship, you are likely optimistic that the relationship will last and are hoping for a true long-term connection. When you start to question whether the relationship will last, it might take a while to get honest with yourself. You might initially make up excuses for your partner’s behavior or the lack of overall chemistry. ...
Upon hearing the words “Mother’s Day” you may immediately think of the Hallmark version of this holiday, full of flowers, cards, moms and daughters in matching dresses, and fancy brunches. But, that’s not everyone’s experience. Mother’s Day evokes a variety of emotions and can be a very difficult day for many, depending on the circumstances of their family.
If ...
You’re engaged! Congratulations on the decision to take your relationship to the next level. Likely, you’ve already put a tremendous amount of effort into your relationship to get it to this stage. You and your partner have probably already endured some ups and downs and ultimately decided that your connection is strong enough to make a deeper commitment.
It ...
In a world with endless demands on your time, a growing to-do list, and the pressures created by social media to be nearly perfect, exhaustion is more the norm than not. In fact, according to a recent study conducted by the National Safety Council, 97 percent of working Americans have at least one of the leading risk factors ...
The success of any relationship hinges on the ability for each partner to get their needs met. This is true of a parent-child relationship, friendship, and romantic partnership. But, that criteria of a successful relationship isn’t as simple as it seems. Getting your needs met is a result of identifying, owning, understanding and communicating those needs effectively.
Here are ...
Nearly every couple in a long-term relationship goes through times that are challenging, stretches in which they might question the relationship, and periods of frustration with one another. These ebbs and flows are normal and, while challenging, can also be opportunities for growth and learning.
Too often, when couples are going through these challenging times, marked by arguments ...
Relationships can often be a roller coaster. No matter if you are in the honeymoon phase of a new relationship or have been married for years, all partnerships will go through good times and rough patches. Especially if you are dating or in a new relationship, it might be hard to understand the underlying reasons for the ups ...
Divorce is challenging in a variety of ways. You might question whether divorce is the right choice for you, you likely fear the financial impact of divorce, and it’s hard not to notice the emotional roller coaster you are likely experiencing. It’s this, the emotional aspect, that is the most difficult for partners who are separating, according to ...
If you have ever overreacted or “blown up” in a conversation with a loved one, co-worker, parent, or even child, then the practice of tuning into your emotional thermometer would likely be a helpful one. The process of understanding your emotional continuum is especially critical if you have a tendency to spiral out of control during heated discussions and ...
Attraction can be a mysterious dynamic. You likely have a pattern of attraction or a “type” of person that you end up dating. Maybe your partners don’t look the same, but chances are that the reasons for the attraction are similar when you reflect on individuals you have dated.
Do opposites really attract? Do you ultimately end up ...
‘Boundaries’ is a word we throw around casually nowadays as it becomes more mainstream. Maybe you have heard comments like “my resolution this year is to have stronger boundaries” or “better boundaries will help me find more balance in my life”. And, while these comments are true, it’s often difficult to define exactly what “good boundaries” means, especially because ...
Your marriage impacted far more people than just you and your spouse, and your divorce won’t be any different. The decision to end your marriage will have an impact on your kids, neighbors, families, and friends. It’s important to comprehend their perspective during this time in order to meet their needs and create understanding during this transition. In ...
Life is full of lessons, as are relationships. Through various stages of relationships, you’ll be faced with learnings, opportunities for growth, and the ability to do things differently than you did in the past. It’s when we can use the lessons of our past to improve our future relationships that wisdom results and real progress occurs.
Relationships will ...
Wine is known to be good for your heart, as are relationships. In fact, scientists have concluded that people who are happily married or in long-term committed relationships actually live longer, on average, than their single friends. But that’s not where the analogy ends. Here are three truths about relationships that also important when making wine, and what ...
If you have been struggling in your marriage and are unsure whether divorce is right for you, it’s possible that an intermediate step is more appropriate or attractive. This step may end up serving as a long-term solution for your relationship, or help you understand whether divorce is the correct outcome for your marriage. Sometimes, it may even strengthen ...
Think back to your last break-up...Did you feel devastatingly empty, depressed, lost or wonder how you would move forward without this person in your life? If so, you might be prone to losing yourself in a relationship. If you tend to merge with your current partner, assume their likes and dislikes, and take on his or her interests, after ...
If you are dating, chances are you’ve been perplexed, confused, or flat out surprised by the behavior of someone you have dated. You might recall restless nights or long conversations with friends talking through how unexpected events unfolded in a relationship that went south.
It’s not uncommon at all for there to be a misalignment in what you might ...
Heraclitus, the great Greek philosopher, is credited with the famous phrase “change is the only constant in life”. While this is undoubtedly true, challenge is also another constant. Life is rarely without a challenge — whether that be minor or catastrophic. It’s how we face and overcome challenge that leads to character. While it’s inevitable that life will hand ...
Divorce is full of heightened emotions including blame, anger, sadness, denial, uncertainty, and sometimes even relief and excitement. Experiencing these feelings and the related phases of change are normal and necessary to get to the other side of divorce. The process is both scary and exciting as you usher out your new life and welcome in all that ...
No matter if you’ve been in a relationship for a few months or a few years, it not uncommon to come to a crossroads and wonder if you should leave the relationship, take a “break”, or start seeing other people again. Maybe the chemistry is fading, your partner’s habits and quirks are wearing on you, or you question whether ...
There are very few situations in life as heartbreaking as miscarriage. Likely, you and your partner were overjoyed with the news of a new baby and immediately started planning the details of your expanding family. You most likely shared the news with close friends and family ...
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard of The Bachelorette. This reality television dating show was originally a spin-off of The Bachelor and it features an eligible single woman (aka The Bachelorette) who chooses a husband among 25 bachelors. Throughout the season, dating and relationship dynamics, including drama, conflict, and hurt feelings, unfold - much to ...
As relationship therapists, one question we get often from clients is how long to wait to have sex with their new partner. Sometimes there is (real or perceived) external pressure from your new partner causing you to ask this question or you might feel that having sex is a way to solidify a new relationship. Other times, having sex ...
Have you ever been in a situation in which you feel like you can’t get clarity? Maybe you are torn between two choices, or in a fog about what the best next step looks like. This might be the case in a decision around a relationship, job, or any other potential change in your life. Or, you might witness ...
New motherhood is a time of radical change. From a changing body to a changing list of responsibilities to a changing sleep schedule, successfully navigating this time is about being flexible and accepting change. It’s natural to overcome the challenges that accompany this change by reaching out to peers, parents, friends and even neighbors for advice and insight. In ...
If you are single and dating, you might feel like there isn’t anyone out there for you. Maybe you think “all the good women or guys are taken” or you tend to settle because you are afraid you’ll be alone forever. Keeping an abundance mindset, even in times of scarcity is important in dating and in life. An abundance ...
Postpartum can be a time of mixed emotions. While there is most likely joy surrounding your newborn baby, those positive feelings can sometimes be accompanied by feelings of overwhelm, exhaustion, and even sadness. Oftentimes, it might feel difficult to talk about some of these feelings in a society that generally views the birth of a new baby as ...
You meet someone new, whether that be online or through a mutual friend, and you hit it off. The early fog of infatuation is thick and it feels fun and exciting to learn about someone new. There is immediate attraction, both physical and psychological, and you start to size this new potential partner up against a “list” of ...
One of the most challenging decisions as a new parent is whether or not to go back to work and leave your new bundle of joy in the care of someone else. Deciding to stay home with baby is one of the first, significant parenting decisions you’ll face, and there are several factors to consider -- some of which ...
Most likely, you have experienced a partner acting distant or disengaged in a relationship. This might look like long response times between communication, not opening up about his/her experience, or at it’s extreme, the silent treatment. This can feel uncomfortable for almost any partner, but if this feels dysregulating to you, it’s most likely due to a tendency towards ...
Dating can be exhausting. It’s not only time-consuming and expensive, it can also be difficult to meet someone you really connect with and trust. And, when you do, you may struggle with truly accepting a potentially fulfilling relationship. Instead, you might find yourself, repeatedly, in partnerships that are unhealthy or even dramatic. This is a common behavior in ...
When you first start dating someone, you are most likely open-minded. You look forward to learning more about his or her interests, work, and family. You listen intently to your date’s stories and dreams. You probably find yourself imagining what the future could look like with this potential partner.
It’s easy to quickly move from that open-minded receptive space ...
If you are reading this post, you’ve most likely recently been through a breakup or experienced some level of heartache. It’s inevitable that everyone will go through this experience in their life, so remember that you are not alone. Once you’ve worked through the break-up and recognized the lessons, you might be thinking about dating again. And, as ...
Maybe you are contemplating a major life change. It could be a new job, change in relationship status, or a habit you want to overcome. No matter what you are trying to shift in your life, it’s important to recognize that change happens in phases and in small steps.
If you are struggling with change, it’s most likely ...
Life with a new baby is undoubtedly a joyous experience. From the first giggles to the first steps, there are more memorable moments than you can count. However, as baby becomes the center of the household, it’s natural that your relationship with your partner takes a back seat. The transition to life with baby is one of the most ...
When you hear the words “mom shame” you probably think of the judgement and criticism moms have for one another. Psychology Today cites a study in which sixty-one percent of the recipients report that they have been criticized for their child-rearing decisions. While this form of mom shame and judging is highly prevalent and painful, there is another ...
We have all been deep into a relationship, went through a breakup, and then saw several red flags in hindsight – after having time to reflect upon things with a new perspective. Seeing life through the lens of experience and wisdom can be a profound thing and yield important learnings. But, what if you had the tools to reduce ...
Despite the fairytale vision that you likely had in your mind before getting engaged, planning a wedding can be one of the most stressful and emotional experiences in life. Trying to balance both family’s wish lists, blend ideas, and keep plans within budget can add pressure to any relationship. However, enduring these decisions, communicating effectively, and growing as a ...
There are three primary attachment styles in dating – Secure, Avoidant, and Anxious. While people tend to display one predominant style, most people fall somewhere on a continuum from avoidant to secure to anxious, and it can look different when interacting with different people (e.g., dates, parents, or friends). We’ve written about this quite a bit and you can ...
You might approach dating with one end in mind -- marriage (or long-term companionship). However, the insights and learnings that dating uncovers can help better pave your path toward successful marriage or long-term companionship. Instead of narrowly measuring the potential of a relationship by thinking, “Would I marry this person?” ask yourself, “How can I benefit or grow from ...
Repetition is a powerful teacher. Adding consistency and ritual to your daily life can serve you in many ways including improving productivity, increasing happiness, and boosting mood. Most notably, morning routines have been linked to greater professional success and getting more done overall.
Here are some daily rituals to consider – whether they help you through a difficult ...
If you are reading this article, you have probably experienced an emotionally disconnected partner who is unable to articulate feelings on a deeper level. This might feel like a lack of comprehensive connection, that something is missing, or that there is an intentional distance kept between you and your partner.
This dynamic can be both painful to manage in ...
Do you feel overcommitted, spread thin, and run down? We often see clients who experience these emotions on a daily basis. While consistent self-care rituals are important to overcoming the pressure you might feel from having a packed schedule and long to-do list, the impact of “saying no” in your life is an important part of managing ...
Perhaps watching the nightly news is a long-standing family ritual, or you start your day by skimming the local and national headlines. If so, you have probably noticed that in the last several years, the weight of those headlines has led to feelings of paranoia, anxiety, and even depression. Especially with gun violence on the rise and ...
In part one of this post, we discussed signs that you may be desperate for love and therefore, compromising what you look for in a partner. Here, in part two, we’ll examine strategies for overcoming this feeling of desperation and how to approach dating and relationships from a grounded, intentional, and healthy mindset.
Instead of grasping for relationships ...
A painful past has a gravity all its own, and it can pull us down if we’re not careful. It sometimes seems old memories and old patterns
Have you ever gone to the grocery store hungry? We are all guilty of doing this occasionally. And what happens? You don’t make good decisions. You buy junk food, you buy too much, and you buy things that will solve your problem of hunger the fastest, like sugary, carb-laden foods. And if you snack on those chips on the ...
You and your partner are expecting! Congratulations. This time is normally full of excitement, anticipation, celebration, and bliss. When you think about preparing for your baby, you might normally register for a list of items you need, consider a bigger house, modify your social calendar, and change your eating/exercise regime. What is often overlooked is answering the tough questions ...
Session after session, I listen to clients feeling frustrated, rejected, and hopeless about the online dating process. They feel that they have created a decent profile, put up some pictures of themselves looking their best, initiated unique messages, and yet, no dates.
After recently reading a valuable study on online dating profiles and success factors, I was inspired to ...
Postpartum depression and anxiety and “baby blues” affects more new mothers than you probably think. According to the the American Pregnancy Association, upwards of 75% of new mothers have negative feelings and experiences during the postpartum phase. They are the result of significant hormonal shifts following childbirth and are quite normal, even though they may not feel that ...
Saying goodbye to a relationship or even a marriage is tough under any conditions. When these separations happen around the holidays, the grief can be particularly hard to manage. In my work as a Denver therapist, I help clients coping with loss of all kinds all throughout the year, but the loss of a significant relationship around ...
Parenting is likely the most fulfilling and challenging role if your life. No matter the age of your kids, days are filled with a mix of highs and lows, often leaving you with questions about the best approach to raising children in this day and age, as well as the impact the responsibility of kids have on your relationship ...
Self care is a trendy topic, with articles suggesting that nightly baths and weekly pedicures might be the road to a more balanced life. While a little pampering can go a long way in alleviating stress, it’s just the tip of the iceberg when we examine real self care strategies.
In our work as therapists at Center for Shared ...
It’s that time of year when gratitude is top of mind for many. During Thanksgiving month, we see consistent reminders of this word painted on festive candles, hand towels, and other decor. We see it in news headlines and it’s posted all over social media.
As a daily practice, gratitude has been proven to lead to more happiness, fulfillment, ...
Have you ever been in a relationship and always felt like you were doing something wrong or something bad was about to happen? Do you have the tendency to blame yourself when things weren’t going as smoothly as you had hoped? Did you find yourself making up stories to explain your partner’s behavior without confirmation from him or her ...
Living in a digital age with endless content can be overwhelming. In my work as a Denver therapist, I often hear from clients that they’ve researched a topic related to relationships on the internet, and haven’t always received the best advice from forums or unreliable sources.
Below you’ll find a collection of top relationship resources that provide solid insight ...
In my work as a relationship therapist, I help clients overcome a variety of relationship challenges by helping provide insights into their experiences and strategies for overcoming common roadblocks.
A challenge I often hear about as a relationship therapist is that the beginning of a relationship felt “easy” and months – or years – later, one or both partners ...
Relationships, like life, are full of change. If you desire to shift any dynamic in your relationships, you must be prepared for and understand how to navigate the natural stages of change.
If your partner in a romantic relationship is attempting to shift his or her behavior such as breaking an addiction, changing long-standing communication patterns, or being more ...
You’ve spent the better part of the last two to ten years putting your children’s needs far above your own. You’ve spent countless months on a nursing and/or pumping schedule, long nights rocking little ones, and endless days cleaning up after them. Your children have consumed nearly all of your time and energy, and you have possibly ...
In my work as a Denver therapist, I regularly witness the power of individual therapy to heal relationship problems. Setting aside time to talk about the way your relationships influence your thoughts and behaviors one-one-one with a trained relationship psychologist is paramount to transforming a relationship.
Many couples choose couples therapy in addition to, or sometimes instead of, ...
Do you think in black and white or fifty shades of gray? Do you prefer absolutes, certainty, and a clear relationship path or a more spontaneous relationship journey? Do you spend too much time thinking about the ultimate outcome of a relationship rather than simply embracing the moments with your loved one?
Black and white thinking is a common ...
While most people know that the process of divorce can be grueling and painful, it’s a common mistake to think that once the papers are signed, the suffering and grief will also come to an end. Enduring the financial, emotional, and psychological pain of separation from a partner you thought you’d spend your life with is excruciating, but ...
“Dating down” is relatively new relationship terminology but the concept has been around for ages. Even just a century ago, individuals might have been pressured to marry into certain families with certain social status, or been influenced by dowries. Dating outside your social status could be viewed as the modern day equivalent of these dynamics.
While it’s important to ...
Do you ever feel like you are attracted to, date, or even marry the same type of people over and over again? Do all of your relationships fall into a similar pattern and end due to the same dynamics? Does it feel like you attract or invite this relational pattern into your life, perhaps without consciously being aware ...
Relationships can be challenging to navigate. When you add kids into the mix, they quickly become downright complex. Understanding the right time to introduce your kids to your significant other, and potentially meet his/her kids as well, is a very personal decision and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly. While there is no hard and fast rule about when ...
We hear a lot of buzz about codependency as a common relationship dynamic. However, there are several other types of dependency in relationships, and determining yours can provide valuable insight into the health of your partnerships.
Both interdependency and independency are other forms of relationship interaction along the dependency continuum. When you can better understand how your relationship is ...
In my work as a relationship therapist in Denver, Colorado, clients often question whether their partner is the best possible match and try to determine whether to keep looking for a better fit. Often this consideration is coupled by a broader “fear of missing out” (FOMO) as clients wonder whether they are settling or if there might be ...
While often the end of a relationships is a time marked by grief, sadness, and regret, it can also be a time of discovery, learning, and maybe even a sense of liberation.
In my work as a relationship therapist, I see individual therapy clients who struggle with breakups and heartache regularly, and refocusing their energy on the lessons and ...
In my work as a relationship therapist, specializing in attachment theory, one phenomenon I often see is overcommitted women and men struggling to stay on top of competing priorities, resulting in complete exhaustion and burnout.
If you feel depleted, overwhelmed, burned out, or inundated, it might be time to revisit the commitments in your life and restructure where needed. ...
It’s easy to get wrapped up in the excitement of a new relationship. You easily get swept away in the fun of learning all about a new person and experiencing the “firsts” together – first time holding hands, first kiss, the first time he/she calls you “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”. During this thrilling time of infatuation, it’s easy to get ...
In the age of information overload, it’s common to want to evaluate a relationship with a long list of pros and cons, or do online research about “signs of the right relationship” instead of simply trusting your intuition, or inner compass when it comes to evaluating the health of your romantic partnerships.
Because you have so many ...
The Relationship Roller Coaster, as I like to call it, is filled with emotional, exciting, and at times, frustrating ups and downs, twists and turns, and thrills. The drama and unpredictability of roller coasters is what gives you the excitement and surge of neurochemicals in your brain, and the very thing that gets you hooked and getting back ...
Even in the best of relationships, at some point, you might question whether you should stay committed or leave your relationship and possibly start over with someone who might be an even better fit. This may happen in the first few months when you are still understanding whether someone is an ideal partner, or years down the line when you ...
The basic beliefs you have about yourself and your control over your future make up your mindset. Research performed by Stanford Psychologist Carol Dweck and summarized in Brain Picking’s recent article by Maria Popova, suggests that while this perspective may shift due to circumstances or personal variables, individuals fall in two core buckets when it comes to mindset: ...
The devastation of having a romantic relationship come to an end – especially if you feel the choice was not yours – can be heart-wrenching. Longer relationships may leave you with a feeling of emptiness as a former lover might have been part of your daily rituals. If your partnership was shorter, but intense and meaningful, you may have ...
Intimacy is a necessary part of any healthy relationship. While it’s most common to think of intimacy as physical closeness, intimacy takes many important forms in a healthy relationship such as emotional closeness, friendship, intellectual alignment, and attachment. A close cousin to intimacy is vulnerability, which is a willingness to put yourself at risk for heartache, rejection, or ...
When you think of therapy to help your romantic relationship, you probably imagine the classic scene with a couple sitting around with a therapist, each taking turns discussing their core problems and each telling his or her own side of the story. While that model has been the norm for decades, it may not be the most effective in ...
In Part I, we discussed the divorce process and how to build your professional team in order to best prepare you for what lies ahead. In Part II, we discuss what you may need to know once you find yourself in the divorce process. We cannot cover all of your possible questions here, so please reach out to ...
This is part one of a two-part series.
You are at a crossroads. Maybe you never thought you’d reach this point in your marriage, or maybe you have been thinking about it for a long time. Either way, you need a place to get started. The reality of getting a divorce can be overwhelming. However, when you simplify the concept ...
At Center for Shared Insight, PC, we are committed to answering your most burning relationship questions. In fact, the very core mission of our practice includes sharing insight gathered from thousands of hours spent supporting, educating and guiding clients on their personal journeys of better understanding relationship dynamics.
While pulling away in a relationship is often attributed to male ...
Having a “single” relationship status can be difficult during notable holidays that often involve couples and family – especially Valentine’s Day. For some, it may be a glaring reminder that you are single when the rest of the world says you “should” be in a relationship with a significant other. For others, it may be a welcomed day ...
When you are motivated to change and improve your life, there are a myriad of avenues within your reach to help you get there. In today’s hyper-connected world, you probably rely on a wide range of solutions to help meet life’s goals – everything from accountability apps, to self-help books, to online support groups, to life coaches – especially ...
It might be the most difficult decision you’ve made your entire live, and the one that will most impact your future happiness:
“Should I ...
It’s that time of year when almost everyone takes time to reflect on the year’s past and look forward to needed changes as the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s eve. While it’s important to engage in evaluation practices and set short-term goals throughout the year, here are some tips for setting and reaching realistic goals in every part ...
The holidays are a powerful, reflective time of the year and the transition to a new year often necessitates a sense of introspection about our impact in the world. Many of you may look back on 2016 and remember fondly the good that came into your life. Whereas, others may feel a sense of loss, anger, tragedy, and/or heartache, and ...
Relationships with others are a complex, fascinating dynamic that most of us spend our entire life trying to understand, master, and continuously improve. The way we show up in a partnership today is a culmination of the experiences in relationships throughout our lives – those with parents, siblings, relatives, teachers, and other loved ones. This collective experience creates our ...
The holidays are classically known as a joyful time to unite with friends, family, and loved ones. The media portrays a consistent image that the holidays are a blissful time of reunion and generosity. This experience is most likely the ideal. Yet, thousands of people are coming out of a breakup or divorce each year during the holidays ...
It’s often true that differing opinions can enrich and positively affect a relationship – whether that be a romantic relationship, friendship, or family dynamic. Not seeing eye-to-eye can oftentimes lead to embracing important values like
Many couples struggle with a partnership that is built on an ideal of “perfect.” The expectation that a partner shouldn’t do anything slightly “wrong,” and the nit-picking and fault-finding that accompanies such partnerships, can leave the criticized partner feeling confused and frustrated, wondering what they have done wrong and how they can make it right again. However, it usually has ...
In a world of speed dating and swiping, it’s more difficult than ever to make an authentic connection with a potential love interest. Online dating is a constant distraction reminding us to question “what else is out there” and open relationships are more commonplace than ever.
As a mindful dater in this world, it probably feels extremely challenging to ...
You have, no doubt heard of ghosting, but a new dating trend is leaving people feeling unclear about where they stand. Here’s one take on BENCHING.
There’s a new dating tactic in town and if you’ve been out there chasing love, you’ve probably encountered this sneaky, but effective scheme. It’s called “benching.”
Since it was first written about by New ...
If you are single and living now, in the 21st Century -- at a time of rapidly evolving technology and instant gratification, you have probably given online dating some consideration. Most of my clients share that they have hesitations around it, yet feel that it’s necessary to try as a way to potentially overcome challenges of meeting aligned partners. ...
Divorce can be both a heart-wrenching and liberating experience, depending on the circumstances of your dissolution. It’s often also a time of confusion, and necessitates self-reflection. No matter the details of such a separation, an intentional, directed recovery is often key to successful dating and future relationship happiness.
Too often, as a divorcee, you may feel excited about the prospect of ...
In Part 1 of this series, we discussed signs of relationship anxiety - overthinking, game-playing and self-sabotage - and the common experiences of people who struggle with this challenge. Here, we’ll provide a three-step process for overcoming relationship anxiety in your life. Like the desire to change any unhealthy habits in life, the first step is being committed to ...
In my work as a psychologist, I help clients overcome past relationship trauma, understand setbacks, and assist them in clearing space and recognizing healthy new relationships in their lives. Oftentimes, these new relationships can trigger unresolved feelings or patterning that become a kind of anxiety about a new love.
If you have ever felt overly nervous, find yourself constantly ...
As a Denver psychologist specializing in relationship support, the number one question I receive in my therapy sessions is “Why have I not found my life partner?” While the answer can certainly vary significantly from client to client, after a few sessions of discovering more about clients’ lives and challenges, the answer to this burning question is usually revealed in ...
Pick your poison, Friends! We all get addicted to the feel-good high of certain habits or hobbies… but what if your drug of choice is relationships?
Everyone has something—something that helps the not-so-good times feel just a little bit better, including you.
Maybe it’s a bowl of rocky road ice cream or a glass of red wine after a challenging ...
Breakups are difficult, even when we get that often-desired last conversation with our beloved. It’s natural to seek a dialogue at the end of a relationship for a variety of reasons -- including to learn what you could have done to be a better partner, understanding why the relationship failed, or for feedback on a certain aspect of the relationship. ...
In part one of this series, we revealed that the root of feelings and emotions is caused by chemical forces in the body. These releases of hormones are completely out of your control and become the foundation of almost all relationships -- with attraction, lust, and attachment paving the way to true relationship.
In this section, we’ll explore why ...
Butterflies in your stomach, sweaty palms, a pounding heart and a preoccupation with thoughts of your beloved are surefire signs of a new romance. Yet, what often feels like “love at first sight” or intense early chemistry is simply the result of a neurochemical cocktail released in your body.
Oftentimes, in my work as as a psychologist, I ...
If you are reading this article, it’s likely that you recently experienced the allusive fog (Tatkin, 2016) of a new relationship. Or, perhaps you recognize a habitual pattern of unclear judgement in the early stages of a partnership.
In a related Center for Shared Insight blog post on the Honeymoon Phase of relationships, we discussed the challenges of what’s called ...
In part 1 of this series, we decoded the origin of attachment styles and in part 2, described common attachment patterns and what they mean. Here, we’ll dive deeper into the dance between attachment systems and the resulting relationship dynamics.
Noting the interplay of attachment styles provides fascinating insight into your possible relationship dynamics. While most people have a ...
The ideal way to determine your attachment style is to work with a psychologist who is well-versed in attachment theory as it relates to relationships. A professional can help you assess what your attachment style is, understand how it developed, and how it affects your current and future relationships.
In addition, there are questionnaires and books ...
While we often think of attachment as something a child develops with a parent or caregiver, understanding the way we meet or attach to others can provide powerful insight into our relationship dynamics as adults. A deeper understanding can also help us understand and prepare for challenges that will arise in dating and relationships, which we will dive ...
Dating has changed dramatically in the last decade. With texting being an integral part of relationships, to shifting gender roles, the dating world is in a constant state of evolution. The advent of online dating allows singles to easily meet a variety of people outside their circle of friends, and therefore, the odds of encountering a partner with ...
Dr. Hick tells us how to look beyond the dating “list” to find a deeper, uncharted way of dating. Let’s look beyond what’s on paper and date more mindfully.
Everyone has either shared or heard a tragic dating story that starts with, “He/She looked great on paper.” You’ve probably even created—perhaps rewriting many ...
The butterflies, the adrenaline, and untainted hope, and the joy of something new. The honeymoon phase of a relationship – usually defined as anything from the first 90 days to the first year – is the utopic beginning of romance and usually the most beloved phase of a partnership.
Interestingly, as relationship expert and Certified Gottman Couples Therapist, ...
Knowledge of what boundaries are, how they are learned and how fear can influence your boundary setting likely led you to the question, “So how do I set and maintain a healthy boundary?”
The first step to setting healthy boundaries is to get extremely clear on the desired boundary (refer back to Fearless Boundaries: Healthy Boundaries for Better Relationships). Ask ...
In a world of endless choices, desires, and opportunities, the practice of forming boundaries is something we don’t often consciously learn in our formative years. As an adult, you might not completely understand exactly what a boundary is, how it is established, and why it is helpful to you. Boundary-building is a relatively new skill to learn and ...
Dr. Hick believes these steps will get you on the path to spring self-renewal—with sunshine, new experiences, and love for yourself, your life, and others.
You did it!
You made it through the unbearably long, cold, and short days of winter. Now it’s time to come out of hibernation mode and start the energizing springtime self-renewal ...
Love addiction might sound like an alluring phenomenon, and definitely doesn’t immediately imply something concerning. However, while true love addiction is not readily talked about or as widely understood or discussed like other addictions, love addiction is a very real disorder that affects approximately 3% of US adults.
Individuals who are addicted to love ...
Spring is finally here and with that comes new life and renewed energy for life and love. As we embrace the season of renewal, spring provides an ideal backdrop for meaningful reconnection, and if you’re single, an opportunity to refresh the outlook on your love life.
In your not-so-distant past, the long Winter months made it easy ...
Historically, spring has been a time synonymous with new life, and a time to leave the stale energy of winter behind. It’s a time to focus again on partnership following the natural “cooling off” period of winter. As we embrace the season of renewal, spring provides an ideal backdrop for meaningful reconnection, or if single, an opportunity to refresh ...
Divorce, separation, and the associated heartache is something we hope to experience very little in life. Losing an important person, whether the parting was your choice or not, is an excruciating experience -- and nearly all of us ...
Life is full of a myriad of emotions. From joy to frustration, and peace to anger, we all also experience an occasional sense of nervousness or worry. Normal times to feel this would be amidst a major life change (positive or negative), going on a first date, alongside a ...
In my practice as a Denver psychologist, many mothers report shame, confusion and upset about their experience of anxiety, worry, depression, and difficulty connecting after their new baby arrives. A variety of questions arise alongside these feelings that are difficult to discuss. Below, you’ll find some of the top issues that surface with this unique population of women and ...
There’s no getting around it. As we age, dating changes. Instead of lamenting the loss of your 20s mentality, lets celebrate why this is actually good news.
Contrary to your waistline, hang-over recovery time, and grown-up expenses likely increasing in your 30s, the time your relationships last have unfortunately (or fortunately) shortened.
Ever think to yourself or hear your friends ...
Valentine’s Day. Two words that can conjure up a whole host of feelings that run the spectrum from joy to dread. What’s certain is that Valentine’s Day will most definitely make you think of one 4-letter word: LOVE.
As a Denver relationship therapist, I witness stories daily that remind me how love is the most elusive, confusing, ...
Does winter have you worn down, unmotivated, blue, tired, and/or restless?
Winter is classically the time of year when people tend to hibernate, rest, and reflect. If you are fortunate to live in a place like Colorado where we experience four distinct seasons, there is a sense of appreciation for winter, even if it’s not the ...
If you want a brighter future in life (and dating!) start by looking inward. The stories we tell ourselves impact everything… and we do mean everything.
The stories we tell ourselves are powerful, so powerful that they have the power to change the course of our future. Find out how to harness this ...
As a Denver psychologist specializing in dating, relationship, and divorce issues, I regularly witness the power of active reflection as a personal development tool used to fully move forward. It’s critical to do so at ...
January. It's the time of year when we have a universal clean slate to start again, begin anew, and reset.
As a clinical psychologist in Denver, I regularly incorporate goal-setting, resolutions, and commitments into my work with clients. ...
Well folks, it’s been a year—a year of stepping outside of your comfort zones, imagining how your life, work, relationships, and health could be different, of expanding yourself ...
As a relationship therapist in the Denver area, I witness varying client emotions arising throughout the season, making the holidays both the most ...
Countless studies from renowned organizations including Harvard Health and
For some, being single for the holidays is akin to some sort of personal torture. But with a little fearlessness… it most certainly doesn’t have to.
The holiday season: I can probably imagine what comes to mind…joyous times with family, stress-free travel plans, and generous gifts from your special someone. Basically, picture-perfect experiences full of happiness.
Not ...
In the first part of this Fearless Living in 2015 piece, I shared an intimate story of a dear friend’s experience of ...
A fearless break through in loving communication happened for a dear friend this week. She graciously allowed me to share the story of her path to transformation.
For years, “Sarah” had struggled to express ...
Boundaries. By now, I’m sure you’ve heard this term thrown around a fair bit. And yet, if you are like many people, you ...
So you’ve taken the plunge—the online dating plunge.
You’ve crafted a good profile. You’ve discussed the activities and interests that are meaningful to you and that you hope to find ...
Greener pastures. A better fit for your “list.” A more “suitable” partner.
No matter what you call him or her, or the general idea, that “perfect ...
We’re all guilty of it. We work, work, work our busy selves away—on the job we love, the job we hate, or the career we are trying relentlessly to ...
It’s about to be summer and as the days – and nights – are heating up, we’ll explore how to have fearless sex.
If you’re new to Dr. Hick’s Guide to Living Fearless in 2015, I’ll give you the scoop. This year, we’re delving into what relationships could be like – what life could be like – if lived ...
Do any of the following descriptions remind you of your own dating experiences?
“A cobb salad, some yummy ingredients, but a whole lot of lettuce underneath.” “Horrifying.” “An assembly line of the same ole’ thing in a slightly different package.”
Yes, unfortunately, these are real-world depictions of singles’ experiences out in the dating world. Dating is full of funny stories, romantic gestures, ...
As your year of living fearlessly continues, our focus turns towards this unique time of year.
There is an energy bouncing around us, within us and through us and, a renewed hope and rejuvenated spirit—it’s Spring!
Regardless of where you live, winter is a time for hunkering down, eating delicious holiday foods and spending more time indoors—even if you spend them at the ...
I think we’ve all done enough damage with this whole “falling” in love thing. Yes, the initial descent can feel pretty amazing, but oh, the inevitable collapse on the other side of that bliss, no matter how pure our initial intentions.
As a part of our year-long focus on Fearless Living, let’s choose another aim. This year let’s rise in love ...
In last month’s installment of Fearless Living in 2015, we explored how loving yourself fearlessly—including all of your flaws, imperfections, and quirks—could change your life. I hope that taking time to reflect on a daily and ongoing basis provided new insights into ...
February is a time in which most people focus, ponder, or obsess about loving someone else or finding someone to love. Valentine’s Day has turned into a day to say to the world, “See, I am worthy of love!” Unfortunately, this inevitably lends itself to feeling unworthy of love if you’re single, or to a ...
Some of you were lucky enough to have had a pretty “normal” childhood. What is “normal” these days, you ask? Well I don’t mean picture-perfect, Leave ...
For most skiers, the first day of the new ski season is racked with anticipation: wondering what the snow will be like, checking over and over that you still have your gloves, speculating how your new gear will perform. There’s a child-like giddiness that keeps you sleepless the night before, just imagining the possible adventures the upcoming season might hold.
At a time when family and friends get together to celebrate, the holiday season can be a painful reminder of what was, what will never be, and who is not ...
In yoga, an almost 2000-year-old physical, emotional and spiritual health practice, breathing is an essential component. In fact, it is one of eight essential sutras of yoga.
In past blogs, I have made use of ...
I was catching up with a dear friend last week, and she brought up a great (and timely) topic: bringing her new beau home for the holidays for the first ...
If you’re like many of the individuals I help, you’re wondering why your relationships never seem to work out as happily as you intend. Certainly there are relationships that can surprise you in some very unsavory ways, no matter how much foresight you have or how long you’ve been together (think mid-life crisis gone very bad).
However, my experience is that ...
As is true for so many who find their way to Colorado, I fell in love with the Rocky Mountains from day one. They are magnificent, beautiful, offer a Utopian escape from city ...
This is advice I regularly share with clients as a Denver relationship therapist.
Asana refers to the physical practice that most people think of when they think of yoga, but, as you’ll see, it also provides a helpful model for thinking about how we lean ...
Last week I sat with my friend “Sarah,” as she described how hopeless and exhausted she’s felt lately, specifically in regards to her newly-blossoming relationship with a man named “Matt.”
Sarah thinks the world of Matt—he’s charming, successful, generous and (may I say) easy on the eyes. Yet despite Matt’s attractive qualities, Sarah’s not ...
First let’s start by qualifying what I mean by a “perfect” relationship. As a Denver relationship psychologist, I regularly witness people envisioning a “perfect” relationship as being one that mirrors the fantasy created by Hollywood and advertising executives to help you buy in to what they are selling: ...
Have you ever wished that someone would outline a few universal rules for dating? Rules that made the exciting, nerve-racking, fun-but-mysterious process of dating a little more clearly defined? A set of rules that others were sworn by oath to follow in order to gain clearance to ask that certain someone out on a date?
If so, you’re ...
The five niyamas outline the principles in which how we should treat ourselves.
Remember what I said about wanting a set of rules to guide dating experiences? Not only would it benefit you to adhere to the five yamas (how to treat others), but to date well, you need to be a good date. To ...
If you’ve been to a grocery store check-out line, turned on the television, or even connected with friends on social media sites, chances are you’ve been inundated by the magazines, commercials, reality shows, advertisements, etc. portraying a fantasy-driven story line pertaining to marriage.
The entire objective of this media is to get you to buy in to the idea of marriage—that ...
Sitting at a local restaurant patio with a girlfriend, I couldn’t help but overhear the conversation taking place between three gentlemen sitting next to me, who looked to be in their late 30s to early 40s. One would expect they were of the age of men, correct? To the untrained eye, why of course.
One guy, let’s call him “Tom,” was ...
It’s been a couple of months since he/she broke your heart.
You’ve spent time sulking, crying, being angry and talking it out with close friends. You may have drunk your fair share of wine and/or gotten to know your local bartender better than you used to.
You’ve thrown away pictures and returned items of clothing and possessions to your ex. Perhaps you ...
If you are reading this, you are probably invested in knowing yourself more intimately than the average person.
You’ve probably done your fair share of work on resolving the past and creating new narratives in your ...
We’ve all seen the shows. An “expert” comes in to a person’s home, filled wall to wall with veritable mountains of stuff.
Some people are holding on to papers in case they need that one precious piece of information later, unsure ...
A friend was telling me recently about how ...
Welcome
Center for Shared Insight is a safe place for clients and families of all ages, genders, cultures, religions, sexual orientations and walks of life.