Going through a divorce can be a complex journey, and you’ll likely face everything from managing strong, and in many cases, painful, emotions to making confusing financial decisions. Having the right guidance and resources can help you navigate this transition with clarity and confidence.
From legal considerations to financial planning and emotional support, the choices made during this time can shape the path forward. In this blog, we detail resources to help you navigate this challenging period effectively. Remember that each divorce is unique and while these resources can support your journey, this article comes from 10+ years of working with therapy clients going through various kinds of divorces, and is not intended to provide legal or financial advice and only serves informational purposes.
Hire an Attorney or Mediator
When it comes to navigating the complexities of divorce, deciding whether to hire an attorney and/or mediator usually depends on the specific circumstances of your case.
If your divorce is relatively straightforward, with minimal or simple financial assets and low conflict, mediation may be an option. Mediation is a less contentious and more cost-effective approach. It allows you and your ex-spouse to work together with a neutral professional to reach agreements on key issues like property division and spousal support (also called maintenance).
However, when complications arise, such as disputes over asset division, lack of financial transparency, or disagreements over parenting time, many clients choose to seek the expertise of a knowledgeable attorney. An attorney can advocate for your needs and provide guidance to protect your rights and interests throughout the divorce process.
Whether you opt for mediation or legal representation, it's essential to thoroughly research and interview professionals to find the best fit for your needs and goals. For example, if you want to move through your divorce without court intervention, look for attorneys who are more likely to settle. Lean on personal referrals and interview a number of attorneys. As you research legal options, you may find that instead of full representation, you simply need someone to look over paperwork or provide consultation at the beginning or to review your documents before submitting them. Alternatively, you may choose to involve a PRE (Parenting Responsibilities Evaluation/Evaluator) or CFI (Child and Family Investigation/Investigator) if there is a dispute over parenting time and you want an expert’s opinion. From my experience as a therapist, these both have pros and cons to them, so it’s important to consult with a professional about what works best for you and your family.
Gather Financial Resources
From a financial perspective, start by interviewing financial planners or advisors who specialize in divorce (called Certified Divorce Financial Analysts or CDFAs). These professionals offer personalized guidance, model different financial scenarios, and assist you in planning for your future post-divorce. They can provide insights on your lending power and whether you can purchase a new home post-divorce.
Additionally, leveraging online budgeting tools can be immensely beneficial in managing your finances during this transition. Websites like Banktivity or You Need a Budget (YNAB) (to name a couple) provide user-friendly platforms to track income, expenses, debts, and assets, empowering you to create a realistic budget and gain control over your financial situation. By utilizing these resources, you can navigate the financial complexities of divorce with greater confidence and clarity.
Look into Government Assistance Programs
Looking into government assistance programs can provide short-term support, particularly if you're experiencing financial strain due to divorce. Often, aid is tailored to your circumstances and these programs can provide financial assistance, housing subsidies, food assistance, and healthcare benefits. Eligibility criteria varies, so thoroughly investigate the options available in your area. By leveraging government assistance programs, you can access vital resources to help alleviate financial pressures and navigate the challenges of the divorce process.
Complete an Insurance Evaluation
Completing an insurance evaluation helps you determine whether your coverage reflects your current needs and circumstances. Take the time to reassess your health, life, and property insurance policies to guarantee they adequately protect you and your assets moving forward. Contact each insurance provider and request a policy review, providing details about your changed situation due to the divorce. This step allows you to make necessary adjustments to your coverage, such as updating beneficiaries or changing coverage levels, to align with your current life circumstances. By conducting a thorough evaluation, you can ensure that you have the appropriate insurance coverage in place to provide financial security and peace of mind during this transition.
Meet With a Mortgage Broker
Wanting to stay in your current home, where you feel comfortable in your space and neighborhood, have local support, and where you might have brought your children home from the hospital, is a very understandable desire. However, it’s also important to carefully consider whether that is the best financial decision for you now and in the long-run.
Meeting with a mortgage broker can provide essential insights into your financial options. By assessing your qualifications and discussing potential scenarios, you can gain clarity on whether staying in the family home is feasible and beneficial for your circumstances. Additionally, consulting with a financial advisor is crucial to understanding the broader implications of this decision on your financial future. Remember to seek professional advice tailored to your situation. Financial decisions during divorce can have lasting consequences, so take the time to explore your options and make informed choices.
Explore Emotional Resources
Seeking emotional support during divorce can be instrumental in navigating the rollercoaster of feelings that often accompany the process. Therapy, in its various forms, offers relevant insight tailored to your specific needs. Group therapy, such as CSIPs Divorce Recovery Group and other support groups provide a safe space to share experiences and gain perspective from others who understand firsthand what you're going through. Additionally, individual therapy with a professional specializing in divorce work and trauma can offer guidance and coping strategies.
Don't overlook alternative therapies such as art, journaling, or meditation groups, which can provide avenues for self-expression and healing. Whether seeking solace in religious groups or exploring techniques like EMDR, finding the right emotional support can aid in processing complex and often conflicting emotions, and help you move forward during this challenging time.
Research Educational Resources
Educational resources can aid in navigating your divorce. From free online courses to paid workshops and programs, there's a wealth of knowledge accessible to support individuals through this challenging transition.
Consider attending a divorce workshop like Second Saturday, where professionals from various fields, including an attorney, mediator, financial analyst, mortgage broker, realtor, and therapist all come together in one workshop to offer valuable information and guidance specific to divorce proceedings. This holistic approach can empower you with the knowledge needed to navigate this challenging transition effectively.
Additionally, books tailored to various aspects of divorce can provide invaluable insights and guidance. Whether seeking guidance on legal matters, emotional support, or co-parenting strategies, educating yourself can provide clarity and empower you during this time of change.
Find Co-Parenting Resources
Navigating co-parenting dynamics post-divorce can be challenging, but there are numerous resources available to support effective communication and collaboration between parents. Use communication tools like Talking Parents, Civil Communicator or Family Wizard which are platforms tailored for co-parents. They offer varying features and price points to suit different needs, including court usability and monitoring capabilities.
Depending on the amicability of your divorce, consider shared calendars, Google Docs, and other collaborative resources. Explore courses offered in your area, often mandated by the court, to gain insights into optimal co-parenting strategies and conflict resolution techniques. Engage with single parent groups on platforms like Facebook, Meetup, or through networking with friends and family to find support, share experiences, and connect with others navigating similar circumstances during and after divorce proceedings.
For additional app recommendations and insights, refer to this helpful list provided by HBPLaw.
Navigating divorce involves guidance from professionals, and includes legal, financial, emotional, and practical considerations. By leveraging the resources outlined in this blog, you can gain invaluable support and guidance throughout your journey. Taking proactive steps to educate yourself can empower you to navigate the complexities of divorce with clarity, resilience, and hope. To learn more about how we can support your journey with therapy tailored to your unique circumstances, request a consultation.
