Center for Shared Insight, PC

Is “Fear of Missing Out” Really Just a Fear of Commitment?

August 4, 2015
|
Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.

Are you on the hunt for the next thrill, date, or message? FOMO can be a fear of commitment, and Dr. Kristen Hick, Denver relationship therapist, knows how to open hearts to love again.

Greener pastures. A better fit for your “list.” A more “suitable” partner.

No matter what you call him or her, or the general idea, that “perfect fit” keeps you looking, searching and living anywhere but in the present moment and in your present relationship.

Some might say this is simply a case of your relationship skills getting honed, and you will realize that there is a better match out there for you when you are ready for it.

Or is it?

I’m here to say that I think it has more to do with the bewildering plethora of typically superficial online dating sites, social mixers, matchmaking events, etc., surrounding us at all times. The next special him or her is a just a swipe away. And so you keep swiping, emailing, texting, looking…

But, at some point, don’t you have to ask yourself, “What am I really doing?” And even more importantly, “Why am I doing this?”

Fear

The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) is not only a condition that leads to over-scheduled, depleting—albeit fun-filled—weekends. It is also a condition running rampant in the Denver dating scene, as well as in many other metropolitan cities.

FOMO lends itself to never going on that fourth date, prolonging the relationship status convo for months and months to make sure there is no one better out there, or jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire as soon as things become less than easy or comfortable.

Does this sound familiar? Wonder where it comes from?

Origins of FOMO

There are many origins of the Fear of Missing Out…

  • Family expectations about whom you should or shouldn’t date, love and/or marry.
  • Cultural messages about what it means to be a man/woman or what a relationship should or shouldn’t look like.
  • Fairytales and Romantic Comedies.
  • Ego, feeling you deserve a partner who earns more, can take care of you, will continue reading...

https://www.meetmindful.com/fear-of-commitment/

Subscribe to our monthly newsletter below and get your free copy of our ebook to discover how fearlessness can transform your life, love, and relationships.

Download Fearless Living and Loving Today

Related Blog Posts
October 3, 2022
Relationship Conflict: Four Trauma Responses that Aren’t About You

Relationships can be confusing to navigate and understand. If you are experiencing dynamics in your relationship that seem more intense than expected, ongoing or seemingly out of the blue, like withdrawal, unexplained or unusual conflict, or an inability to work through certain situations, don’t assume it is something you are doing. So often, past trauma is the root of relationship challenges.

Just as kids act out hard, painful, or confusing experiences with their parent(s) growing up, adults often act out unresolved emotions and trauma from their childhood or adulthood through their primary relationships - with friends or partners. These are automatic and unconscious ways of working through those ...

July 8, 2022
Evaluating the Emotional Health of a Relationship

Before you take the next step in your relationship, consider checking in about the emotional health of the partnership. Similar to the practice of discussing each other’s sexual health before having sex, discussing emotional health before you move forward with a significant relationship milestone, like being exclusive, is critical. If you don’t evaluate the emotional health of a relationship, you may rush into intimacy and commitment without fully understanding your compatibility. This can contribute to frustration, disappointment, and relationships being built on an unstable foundation.  

In this post, ...

If you have difficulty using our website, please email us or call us at (720) 644-6698
View the ADA Accessibility Statement
This website is designed for general information only. The information presented on this site should not be construed to be formal psychological or mental health advice or treatment nor the formation of a therapist-client relationship.
CSIP UPDATE - Offering Online Therapy sessions (to COLORADO residents) during Covid-19.
 
Our therapists are here to help you during this uncertain time. We know you and others are trying to do your part to social distance due to Covid-19, which is why we are happy to provide online therapy sessions through our secure video platform. We are here to talk with you about how we can meet your therapy needs. 
 
Contact us today to learn more!