Center for Shared Insight, PC

Spring Relationship Revival (Part I): Recapture Romance with our Renewal Plan

March 22, 2016
Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.
couple riding a bike

Historically, spring has been a time synonymous with new life, and a time to leave the stale energy of winter behind. It’s a time to focus again on partnership following the natural “cooling off” period of winter. As we embrace the season of renewal, spring provides an ideal backdrop for meaningful reconnection, or if single, an opportunity to refresh the outlook on your love life.

Typically, relationships have an initial 3-6 month honeymoon period in which endorphins make everything exciting and promising. This phase of a relationship is thrilling, yet not sustainable long-term. As time goes on, it takes focused intention to keep a sense of romance in your partnership. We are creatures of routine and it’s easy to fall into a safe rhythm with love too -- not giving it the conscious attention it requires.

Being aware of this shift can be a positive experience and mark the next phase of a more intentional, mature romance -- and spring is a great time to embark on such a transition.

Below you’ll find our spring renewal game plan, including ideas to support romance as we head into nature’s season of all things fresh and new.             

Greater Relationship Happiness: For Those in Partnership

1. Make your relationship a priority. It’s easy to let your relationship take a back seat to kids, work, and other commitments. Happiness often stems from our most intimate connections and positively affects all other aspects of life. Without making this a top focus, the love and intimacy can easily fade. Try having regular time together either daily or weekly, and making a ritual of a morning or evening phone call. Touch base frequently and meaningfully.

2. Work towards a shared goal. Setting personal goals is a personally powerful experience. Including your partner in that vision helps your schedules align around a shared desire and can often improve communication. This goal could be fitness-inspired or relationship-based (a race, or agreeing to a weekly, creative date night).

3. Embark on new activities together. Sometimes keeping love alive is about co-selecting activities to enjoy together. These new, shared interests, which could include cooking classes, sailing lessons, wine/beer-making classes, or a home remodel series, can be truly rejuvenating for a partnership. Reigniting a relationship with new activities and hobbies can prevent the same old dull routine or a dreaded relationship rut. Not to mention, it’s extra built-in time together, which is always a good thing.

4. Keep listening. When you first start dating someone, you remember every story and word they share. You enjoy learning how their mind works and their thoughts, feelings, and opinions. Even after months, remember to create the time for listening. Communicate about the times you need downtime for yourself and the ways you’d like to communicate ongoing. Listening makes your partner feel valued, which is a critical part of companionship.

5. Create unexpected moments. Oftentimes, the honeymoon phase of a relationship is full of surprises. Once routine sets in, the flowers, weekends away, picnic lunches, and gifts dwindle. While these gestures aren’t necessary, they do communicate that you were thinking of your partner and that you care. To truly understand how your partner feels loved, dive into their love language or simply put yourself in their shoes and question what would be a meaningful, considerate surprise for them. Taking the time to plan surprises adds that element of the unexpected felt at the beginning of a relationship and fuels passion and connection.

6. Share your fantasies and bucket list. Regularly talking about both your sexual dreams and aspirations for travel and adventure keeps a long-term vision in the relationship. Verbalizing your sexual fantasies keeps things fresh and interesting, even if it feels a little awkward at first. Planning adventure and fueling your sense of wanderlust also revives excitement, creates shared vision, and puts a level of the unexpected back into what can easily become routine.

Let the warmth and renewed sense of hope infiltrate every part of your season. Whether in relationship and seeking renewal, know that Center for Shared Insight is a resource supporting all stages of relationship.

Contact Dr. Hick, relationship therapist, for an even more customized approach to the season of relationship and personal renewal.

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