Center for Shared Insight, PC

Benching: A Psychologist’s Analysis of the New “Ghosting”

October 3, 2016
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Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.
girl sitting on a bench looking at skyline

You have, no doubt heard of ghosting, but a new dating trend is leaving people feeling unclear about where they stand. Here’s one take on BENCHING.

There’s a new dating tactic in town and if you’ve been out there chasing love, you’ve probably encountered this sneaky, but effective scheme. It’s called “benching.”

Since it was first written about by New York Times writer Jason Chen, many have said that benching is the new form of ghosting—when someone you are dating suddenly stops all contact… texting, calling, emails, dates. And poof—they’re out so fast that you may think that the connection was all just a mirage, an illusion, a ghost.

It is my suspicion that with ghosting getting so much attention that it reached the ranks of pop culture phenomena, daters had to come up with a new, sneakier form to throw off potential mates.

For those who have gotten a taste of what the bench feels like, you are filled with questions, shock, and confusion. “What just happened?” you ask. For those who are not quite sure if you’ve been benched, I will explain what it is and feels like.

Whether or not you’ve been benched or done the benching, let’s take a closer look through the eyes of a psychologist specializing in dating and relationships, shall we?

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