Center for Shared Insight, PC

Dating Beyond “Looks Great On Paper”

May 18, 2016
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Posted By: Kristen Hick, Psy.D.
Couple laughing

Dr. Hick tells us how to look beyond the dating “list” to find a deeper, uncharted way of dating. Let’s look beyond what’s on paper and date more mindfully.


Everyone has either shared or heard a tragic dating story that starts with, “He/She looked great on paper.” You’ve probably even created—perhaps rewriting many times over—a “list” of your own, outlining all of the qualities you desire in a potential mate.

While these lists are, in theory, a pretty good starting place for honing in on what it is you are looking for in a partner, they can only go so far. Once you have a “list,” it’s easy to get hung up on finding someone who satisfies every little aspect of your laundry list of traits. This may make your dating process more frustrating and limiting.

Additionally, getting stuck on your list can limit what you are able to see beyond the confines of the list, causing you to miss out on potential love in a pretty powerful way.

Mr. and Mrs. Not-So-Right

As a client once exclaimed, “F*ck what’s on paper!”

The thing is, when you get wrapped up in finding Mr. or Mrs. Right who looks great “on paper,” you may unknowingly miss the all-too-important and hard to see traits that make that Mr. or Mrs. Right look far-less right for you.

Again, it’s important to have a good idea of the qualities and deal-breakers you find important, but tune in to see why it’s time Continue Reading...

http://www.meetmindful.com/date-more-mindfully/

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