Use your voice. Speak your truth. Be honest. Easier said than done…until now. Get ready for fearless communication, Darling. This is a step-by-step guide, brought to you by Dr. Hick, Denver psychologist.
In the first part of this Fearless Living in 2015 piece, I shared an intimate story of a dear friend’s experience of growth and transformation.
While this was a vital shift in her stepping into healthier, more mindful dating relationships, it was even more crucial for her relationship with herself.
To recap, “Sarah” broke through her early experiences with her father, where she learned that she needed to suppress her thoughts and feelings because they were not as important as others.’ Through experiencing an ongoing pattern of not being seen, heard, or honored in her dating relationships, she took the courageous step to work on herself in therapy, to find—and use—her brilliant voice.
Through learning how to use her voice, she transformed her relationships—and it can transform yours too.
Your First Step: Early Lessons
The first step to recognizing your communication barriers is to take a closer look at the lessons you learned in your earliest relationships (e.g., parents, friends, early significant others). Think about what messages you received on what was okay/not okay to talk about, did others’ needs take precedence over yours, was your voice (thoughts and feelings) heard, etc.?
I know, I know. Many of you are probably thinking, “What does my past have to do with the present?” Or, “I’ve dealt with my past, I want to focus on the now.” Trust me, there is a wealth of information hidden in the deep crevices of your past. Taking some time to reflect on what and how you became you will help you become a better version of you.
Next Step: Present Challenges
Once you have reflected a bit on what you learned about communication, think about how you see these early lessons playing out in your relationships as an adult.
- Are there certain people that are more difficult to communicate with?
Are there certain topics that create an immense amount of anxiety or avoidance in you when you even Continue Reading...
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