Everyone has a fundamental need for connection, understanding, and validation. When your needs go unmet, or you have past trauma you haven’t healed, you’ll often try to work out these past situations - seeking to repeat the dynamics until you work through it - through your current relationships, sometimes without even realizing it. This is often the case ...
There is so much to do post-divorce, from reimagining life without your spouse to helping your kids and family understand the changes, it is easy to feel both overwhelmed and excited about what lies ahead. For a long time, you might be stuck in the logistics of your post-divorce life, sorting through new school pickup schedules or work adjustments ...
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that someone uses on you to gain control in a partnership, which could be with a loved one, boss, family member or others. The behaviors and comments that accompany gaslighting make you question your own sanity, sense of reality, the past, and can feel as if you are going “crazy.’ If you ...
Do you lie in bed at night with anxious thoughts and a running mind? Do you find yourself fearful about the future for no reason? Do you tend to have the same thoughts over and over again without resolution?
If any of these scenarios speak to you, you are likely prone to overthinking or anxious thinking. In our practice ...
When I recently read this line on an Instagram post, I quickly jotted it down, eager to share it with my clients as a succinct way to explain something we often discuss in sessions at my practice Center for Shared Insight in Denver, Colorado. As a therapist, I regularly see how clients are reacting to old ...
If your partner has recently ended your relationship and you find out soon afterward that they already have a new romantic interest, there is a good chance that they began a new relationship before ending yours. This phenomenon is also known as “relationship overlapping”. Relationship overlappers take rebounds to the next level by proactively - though sometimes subconsciously - ...
We learn nearly everything we know through experiences. That might be the experience of reading about something, doing a certain activity, or being immersed in a situation. These can be positive experiences, like learning how to cook growing up with your mother, chopping vegetables in the kitchen together, or negative experiences such as “learning love” through the relationship ...
Ghosting, or disappearing from a relationship completely without warning or explanation, has been happening more frequently in the last several years. This breakup dynamic is on the rise even more during the pandemic, in part because it’s so easy to “go dark” in a digital world when you are less likely to run into an ex at ...
Resentment and guilt are two sides of the same coin, and it might be hard to clearly understand which feeling you are experiencing, and how to overcome it. At Center for Shared Insight in Denver, Colorado, we work with clients who are working to better understand how and why these feelings show up and how to find balance ...
If you are going through a divorce, it might feel like it’s an event, and you likely believe that there will be a clear before and after once your papers are signed or your former partner moves out. Yet, if you’ve gone through a divorce several years ago, you might now realize that the letting go and healing ...
The coronavirus pandemic turned life upside down overnight. In a matter of just days, everything from work to schools to upcoming vacation plans shifted. Not a single person was unaffected by these changes, yet some individuals were more significantly impacted, especially if they had a major life event or milestone on the horizon. If you are pregnant during this ...
Difficult emotions are labeled that way because they are difficult to feel, difficult to experience, to name, to own, and to overcome. Some of the emotions that might come to mind as you think about the most difficult things you feel include shame, guilt, fear, rage, grief, regret, and unworthiness.
Since these emotions are so difficult to work ...
Overcoming loss in your life, whether that be the death of a loved one or the end of a significant relationship, is full of ups and downs. The highs and lows of the grieving process can feel like a rollercoaster that you can’t get off. There will be days when you feel positive and optimistic about your healing only ...
Some milestones in life present a more natural time to let go. Those might be at a birthday when you are reflecting on the past year and what you’d like to manifest in the next year, or during major life shifts such as moving into a new home or changing jobs. The new year is another time where ...
Whether it’s due to the loss of a relationship, death of a loved one this year, your parenting plan results in less time with your kids, or other unwanted changes you’ve endured in the past year, the holidays aren’t a happy time for everyone. When you are surrounded by music suggesting that “it’s the most wonderful time of the ...
If you are going through a divorce, you may be energized by the thought of more freedom, the possibility of new friendships, and the opportunity to rediscover yourself. Imaging dating and a new relationship might be exciting and scary at the same time. While these dynamics will likely unfold, what you might not consider is the feeling ...
Strategies to manage the roller coaster of emotions following the birth of a child is often an afterthought. So much time is spent preparing for baby, from planning the nursery, to investing in all the gear for breast-feeding, and so little focus is placed on the mother’s postpartum recovery. Social support is a powerful way to address postpartum needs ...
While it’s a well-known fact that healthy relationships add to one’s life expectancy, less is known about the effect of relationships and suicide rates. In this post, we’ll examine the impact of positive relationships, toxic relationships, and breakups on suicidal tendencies, signs to look for, and how to get help.
Not only does a romantic relationship ...
Whether it’s heartbreak, loss, or unwanted change, difficult situations often evoke feelings of anxiety, fear, and sadness. While it’s important to own and honor these very natural responses to challenging times in your life, these periods are also an opportunity for growth.
In fact, growth can very often be stimulated by difficulty, and the learning and expansion that occurs ...
Painful events in life are inevitable. No matter your socioeconomic status, race, gender, or personal history, it’s certain you’ll experience loss, unwanted change, or death of a loved one throughout your life. You might even currently feel pain within your existing relationship, even if it’s relatively healthy. Or, as a parent, you might feel discomfort about your experience of ...
In a recent interview on the Oprah show with Wade Robson and James Safechuck related to the film, Leaving Neverland, Safechuck told Oprah, "Forgiveness is not a line that you cross—it's a road that you take." This profound statement has applications far beyond this film and suggests that forgiveness and healing are a choice, and possible for everyone.
When something painful happens in your life, such as a breakup, loss of a job, or unexpected illness, it’s certain that many emotions will arise. Those might include fear, anger, sadness, regret, betrayal and many others. These feelings, and others that bubble up as you go through a stressful life event, are important to embrace, own, and experience ...
Heraclitus, the great Greek philosopher, is credited with the famous phrase “change is the only constant in life”. While this is undoubtedly true, challenge is also another constant. Life is rarely without a challenge — whether that be minor or catastrophic. It’s how we face and overcome challenge that leads to character. While it’s inevitable that life will hand ...
Divorce is full of heightened emotions including blame, anger, sadness, denial, uncertainty, and sometimes even relief and excitement. Experiencing these feelings and the related phases of change are normal and necessary to get to the other side of divorce. The process is both scary and exciting as you usher out your new life and welcome in all that ...
If you are reading this post, you’ve most likely recently been through a breakup or experienced some level of heartache. It’s inevitable that everyone will go through this experience in their life, so remember that you are not alone. Once you’ve worked through the break-up and recognized the lessons, you might be thinking about dating again. And, as ...
A painful past has a gravity all its own, and it can pull us down if we’re not careful. It sometimes seems old memories and old patterns
Saying goodbye to a relationship or even a marriage is tough under any conditions. When these separations happen around the holidays, the grief can be particularly hard to manage. In my work as a Denver therapist, I help clients coping with loss of all kinds all throughout the year, but the loss of a significant relationship around ...
While most people know that the process of divorce can be grueling and painful, it’s a common mistake to think that once the papers are signed, the suffering and grief will also come to an end. Enduring the financial, emotional, and psychological pain of separation from a partner you thought you’d spend your life with is excruciating, but ...
Do you ever feel like you are attracted to, date, or even marry the same type of people over and over again? Do all of your relationships fall into a similar pattern and end due to the same dynamics? Does it feel like you attract or invite this relational pattern into your life, perhaps without consciously being aware ...
While often the end of a relationships is a time marked by grief, sadness, and regret, it can also be a time of discovery, learning, and maybe even a sense of liberation.
In my work as a relationship therapist, I see individual therapy clients who struggle with breakups and heartache regularly, and refocusing their energy on the lessons and ...
The devastation of having a romantic relationship come to an end – especially if you feel the choice was not yours – can be heart-wrenching. Longer relationships may leave you with a feeling of emptiness as a former lover might have been part of your daily rituals. If your partnership was shorter, but intense and meaningful, you may have ...
In Part I, we discussed the divorce process and how to build your professional team in order to best prepare you for what lies ahead. In Part II, we discuss what you may need to know once you find yourself in the divorce process. We cannot cover all of your possible questions here, so please reach out to ...
This is part one of a two-part series.
You are at a crossroads. Maybe you never thought you’d reach this point in your marriage, or maybe you have been thinking about it for a long time. Either way, you need a place to get started. The reality of getting a divorce can be overwhelming. However, when you simplify the concept ...
Divorce can be both a heart-wrenching and liberating experience, depending on the circumstances of your dissolution. It’s often also a time of confusion, and necessitates self-reflection. No matter the details of such a separation, an intentional, directed recovery is often key to successful dating and future relationship happiness.
Too often, as a divorcee, you may feel excited about the prospect of ...
Breakups are difficult, even when we get that often-desired last conversation with our beloved. It’s natural to seek a dialogue at the end of a relationship for a variety of reasons -- including to learn what you could have done to be a better partner, understanding why the relationship failed, or for feedback on a certain aspect of the relationship. ...
While we often think of attachment as something a child develops with a parent or caregiver, understanding the way we meet or attach to others can provide powerful insight into our relationship dynamics as adults. A deeper understanding can also help us understand and prepare for challenges that will arise in dating and relationships, which we will dive ...
Divorce, separation, and the associated heartache is something we hope to experience very little in life. Losing an important person, whether the parting was your choice or not, is an excruciating experience -- and nearly all of us ...
In my practice as a Denver psychologist, many mothers report shame, confusion and upset about their experience of anxiety, worry, depression, and difficulty connecting after their new baby arrives. A variety of questions arise alongside these feelings that are difficult to discuss. Below, you’ll find some of the top issues that surface with this unique population of women and ...
Does winter have you worn down, unmotivated, blue, tired, and/or restless?
Winter is classically the time of year when people tend to hibernate, rest, and reflect. If you are fortunate to live in a place like Colorado where we experience four distinct seasons, there is a sense of appreciation for winter, even if it’s not the ...
If you want a brighter future in life (and dating!) start by looking inward. The stories we tell ourselves impact everything… and we do mean everything.
The stories we tell ourselves are powerful, so powerful that they have the power to change the course of our future. Find out how to harness this ...
Some of you were lucky enough to have had a pretty “normal” childhood. What is “normal” these days, you ask? Well I don’t mean picture-perfect, Leave ...
At a time when family and friends get together to celebrate, the holiday season can be a painful reminder of what was, what will never be, and who is not ...
We’ve all seen the shows. An “expert” comes in to a person’s home, filled wall to wall with veritable mountains of stuff.
Some people are holding on to papers in case they need that one precious piece of information later, unsure ...
A friend was telling me recently about how ...
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